Friday 30 December 2005

no Use for a title (or: I am too lazy to think of one)

on PBS right now is that Roy Orbison Black and White special, that seems to be the perennial thing to show during a pledge drive. But whenever I notice it is on I watch it...I really love it (not the pledge drive part, that I could do without). It makes me feel very melancholy though...I am drinking wine and that makes me have a hard time spelling or it looks wrong...like perennial I think that is wrong but what can you do? huh? Anyway today was a fun day at work, because we were overstaffed with nothing to do and so we stood around and chatted. I love chatting at work...in this type of job you are thrust into a relationship with people that you might not hang out with otherwise...and sometimes they are cooler to be with than people in your own particular style of friends...I dunno if that makes sense and that is the wine too ;) but what I mean to say is it was fun today...It is nice to have a job that I don't dread going to...if only I made more money!!!

I don't know if I said so, but Christmas went well...no family drama it was all nice and good and I think we may be on the road to acceptance...(meaning the stages of grief...this is personal shorthand.) I mean it was okay. We pulled it together.

My New Years Resolution, which I hate to make because resolutions are total crap and just another thing to feel guilty about screwing up on, but it is to not be so paranoid, I mean I seriously worry about stuff all the time...random bizarre stuff..I am just so afraid of loss.

Okay don't drink and write maybe that is better resolution... :P

Wednesday 21 December 2005

it's pouring rain again....

I can't believe how crazily it's raining, and one of my windshield wipers has had it---it's held together with a rubber band and I have to hurry and buy a replacement. Hope it doesn't rain on Christmas...I used to drive in the rain often when I was in college but I haven't done it in a while (on the freeway, at least).

I had my sister burn me a CD with some Christmas music on it, she has one of those Time Life collections with all kinds of songs...there is a 12 Days of Christmas that I don't know who is singing, but he sounds like Frasier, I mean Kelsey Grammer. It has a good mix of churchy songs and bubblegummy songs. She also had a CD of a childrens Christmas album that I had when I was little on 8-track tape...it's kids singing and pretty obnoxious but it made me sentimental...everything does these days.

Sunday 18 December 2005

wigging out!

I THINK YOUR MOSES SHALL HAVE BEEN A FOOL!
"I was also amused to note that Jodie Foster's hoop skirts were of considerably smaller circumference."
"Our commentaries disagree on the interpretation of this double-barreled retort."
et cetera, et cetera...you fix up

In other news with regard to my questionable musical taste...we just got Neil Diamond tickets! So the whole Neil Diamond thing has come full circle (what whole Neil Diamond thing?)

me and you are subject to the blues now and then

Today at work I was going to buy some stuff before I left. Laundry detergent and that, and the lines were as long as a long thing that you could compare a line to...so I went back to the photo lab to pay for my stuff, well my girl was helping at the "guest service" counter so I stood there a moment, hmm, should I go back to the lines and the young fellow who works on the floor said, oh, I can just ring you up if you are waiting to go. So he did and another young fellow came by and asked if he was training for the photo lab and he said "no, I'm just checking her out" and laughed then I grinned and grinned because it reminded me of Ghostbusters. "I'll take Miss Barret back to her apartment and check her out...I'll go check out Miss Barret's apartment!!" Other than that today it poured down buckets of rain, but my car seems to be running again so that's good. And I'm rambling on and onnnnn...

Saturday 17 December 2005

Wussy Old Me

Yesterday before work I went to see King Kong, meaning I got up early to see it cuz that sucker is three hours long....big mistake seeing it before work- I thought I might get choked up a little or something but there I was in the theater sobbing my fool head off, awful embarassing hiccuping sobs..then I had to pull myself together within 45 minutes to go to work. Then when I got home from work I cried some more, in a more general way. I wanted to go to sleep early but I had to call my mother and sister to tell them I would not be staying overnight this weekend, I yu7hav to8 u sorry minka stepped on the keyboard just now...i have to work Sunday for Nick but that is fine and dandy because he is working christmas eve for me...both my mother and sister start going on on on on on about stuff...i'm all uh huh uh huh uh huh. Then I finally go to bed, and my last boyfriend who has decided that now is a good time to start acting like an asshole calls me at midnight. Drunk. Twice.

So this morning I get up all early because I have to drive to the bay and back in one day and know what? My car battery died. So fuck it all I will chuck it all and eat sweets and watch movies at home with my cat. I need that... actually that sounds like a good way to spend the day. That, and doing laundry. It's raining outside and all. My sister that I live with had AAA so they came and jumped the car and it was fine and I just drove around for 40 minutes listening to the Bee Gees I'm not sure why, it seemed like a happy thing to listen to. Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down, when they all should let us be.

Tuesday 13 December 2005

"oh my God...that's not a mannequin!"

Someone just said that on the TV, I think it was Law & Order. I think Buzznet is fucked up again tonight and that is annoying. It's very tweaky and I click on links that take me somewhere else. Also my computer is acting weird. Maybe it's an OMEN.

Did you know that microwavable taquitos can go from semi-frozen to scalding hot in 2.5 seconds? The roof of my mouth knows it...well. I am a junk food junkie this evening...here is something fabulous and healthy... the Luna Bar. Years ago my friend recommended I try it and the kind I tried was not so hot, it tasted too healthy...now they have new flavors, S'mores, Cookies and Cream, Dulce de Leche.....oh man they are seriously yummy. Like candy plus vitamins and antioxidants...I highly recommend them,

Yesterday at work we had over 1,000 Christmas cards to print, plus 55 rolls of film...some people must seriously take time off during the holiday season...it was busy like a weekend.

I am can't wait to see King Kong but I work from 11-7:30 tomorrow...so it would have to be a late show if at all...I guess I will probably have to wait but I am very excited to see it...the original was one of my dad's favorites... I wish he was here to see this one. I wonder if they will have in on the IMAX screen in SF, if so that's worth the trip...or Dublin that is even closer...I am thinking in print right now (anyone reading this...."zzzzzzzzz").

Okay anyway...the holiday season is almost over. Time to put our past behind us and move on. Also the full moon will soon be here and gone and gone with it will be my paranoia...today I was in a silly mood, though, and everything that would normally be annoying seemed pretty goddamn hilarious. And that is the mood I like the best.

Tuesday 6 December 2005

Buzznet Addict

I just went in to check on Buzznet and it is down for maintenance....NOOOOOOOOOOO! I am officially addicted. For me it's social. "demented and sad, but social". Another movie quote, I don't have an original thought in my head I guess...

The twins were very funny the other day...they are usually like me and don't like to talk on the phone for very long. But they just got back from Disneyland and both of them jabbered on a mile a minute for a long time. They were brave and went on the upside down roller coaster and even the Tower of Terror. Their favorite was the Jungle Cruise...my niece went in to a detailed description of each and every feature on it, and what the ride operator said, and she barely slowed down to catch her breath while talking. Then about halfway through describing it she said "oh, and they aren't real animals, they're mechanical!"

I was at my mother's house on Saturday for her birthday. She had a Playboy magazine (On a side note, my last boyfriend used to have a subscription to that, and though I like the articles - the articles are truly interesting much like the chicken at Hooters is actually very tasty indeed so it's not just all purely about looking at titties- if my mother was coming for a visit I would give him all the magazines and say "get this outta here!!!". But my mother's husband has a subscription and they leave em laying around like it was People magazine or something. I guess I have more of a stick up my butt then my mother these days and that's just sad. But the hairless women freak me out, what is up with completely shaved coochies that's a bit...I dunno, appealing to pedophiles...I like the classic pin ups like Bettie Page but I digress as usual...) anyway there was an article that contained a transcript of a tape that Marilyn Monroe had recorded for her psychiatrist...and I thought how fucked up it is that she told someone things in confidence and years later here it is for anyone to read. That was a superlong side note and a really brief main point to the paragraph heheheheh.

Friday 2 December 2005

Benadryl plus a teensy bit of vodka

is the fabulous insomnia cure of the evening...

need to get off this computer post-haste because I am surrogate mom tonight, for a 16 year old...level headed but I'm the one around in case she gets into a scrape...hope she doesn't due to the aforementioned b & v...she is a smart cookie my niece but her mom, my sis, well if i was in her shoes (my niece...what am i saying heheheh) I would be rebelling big time...anyway...my point is she has my phone number and I am dial up so I better bail in case she needs to call me...she's on a date, new guy.....good thing i don't have kids I would be too paranoid...blah blah

My own mother rules...her bday 2mrw so I am going to see her, she said she made the special winter soup she makes every year, niiiiice and also she bought brie and pepper jack and bread since she knew I'm comin' over...she knows I am starvin'! Happy birthday Mama!

Thursday 1 December 2005

INSOMNIA!

I hate it. If I don't take a benadryl or something I have the worst time falling asleep. And I have no benadryl, besides now it's too late to take anything or I won't be able to wake up in the morning. The following is an experiment:



hmm did that work...

ANd insomnia makes me overly paranoid (meaning even more paranoid than usual) and today there is a lump under my arm...it hurts but I am more or less certain it is a spider bite or something because it is red at the surface and I only just noticed it today. But my paranoid sleepless mind keeps thinking of Debra Winger in Terms of Endearment. They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste but sometimes it a terrible thing, period.
:P

Tuesday 29 November 2005

100 Monkeys on 100 Typewriters...

would be quicker and better at coming up with a sensible work schedule than my current employer. They might even make a more coherent blog entry than me heheheh.

But screw that anyway, cuz today is my day off. I was going to drive somewhere far but screw that also, I'm gonna go to a movie. It's free popcorn Tuesday. I need the comfort of nasty greasy popcorn and images flickering before me on a giant screen.

Saturday I'm going to see me mudder for her birthday and Sunday Kris for his (belatedly). And finally I will go to E&O Trading Co and have those Indonesian Corn Fritters. YEAH!

Sunday 27 November 2005

"I'm worth a million in prizes"

Here is something vaguely interesting....if you take the lyrics to Girls Girls Girls (Liz Phair that is, not Motley Crue) which are as follows:
"You've been around enough to know
That if I want to leave, you better let me go
Because I take full advantage of every man I meet
I get away almost every day
With what the girls call, what the girls call
What the girls call, the girls call murder
You've been around enough to see
That if you think you're it, you better check with me
Because I take full advantage of every man I meet
I get away almost every day
With what the girls call, what the girls call
What the girls call, the girls call murder"

then using babelfish you translate them

to German then back to English
They around enough were to know to that, if I liked to go you leave me go to improve, because I draw full use from each man, who I keep to away nearly each day with meet which the girls designate, which the girl call which designates the girls, who were girl call murder you around enough to see to that, if you think you are it, you, improve examination with me, because I draw full use from each man I keep away nearly each day with meet which the girls designate, which the girl call which designates the girls, the girl call murder

to Italian then back to English
You have been around enough for knowing that if I wish to go, improved the left ones to go Since I draw maximum advantage from every man who I come it to contact of I obtain via nearly every day with that what the girls call, than what the call who what the girls call, the girls call homicide you have been around in order seeing that if thoughts you are it, you of the girls enough improve me control with Since draw maximum advantage from every man come it to contact of obtain via nearly every day with that what the girls call, than what the call who what the girls call, the homicide of the girls of calling of the girls

to french than back to english
You have be around enough to know that if I want to leave, you improve leave me to leave since I benefit fully from each man that I meeting obtain far almost each day with what girls call, which it call of girls what the girls call, girls murder of call you have étées around enough to see that if you think are him, improve you control with me since I benefit fully from each man I meeting am obtained far almost each day with what the girls call, which it call of girls what the girls call, the murder of call of girls....(that was almost the murder of call girls!)

to Dutch then back to english (my favorite so far)
You are around enough are to to know that if I want leave you, improve me, late go because I take complete advantage of each people that I, I become gone almost each day with what little girls have met clamour, what little girl question what little girls call, the assassination of the little girl question, you have been round enough to see that if you you thinks it is, check you improve with me because I take complete advantage of each people that I, I become gone almost each day with what little girls have met clamour, what the little girl question what the little girls call, the little girls assassination call

then that last version to Spanish and back to English again
You are around enough must to knowledge that if desire licenses you improves to me you go late because volume complete advantage of each people that I go away almost every day with what small girls have solved the outcry, what small question of the girl what small girls call, the murder of the small question of the girl you have been around enough considering that if you who you think are, verify to him improve with me because volume complete advantage of each people who I go away almost every day with what small girls have solved outcry, what the small question what the small girls call, the small call of the girl of the murder


These are the sorts of things I copy and paste to avoid writing about my personal life. All day long at work I was bored and obsessed over what the hell is going to become of me...I need good dumb fun right now and lots of it.

Thanksgiving was very emotionally draining, I drank too much and I think everyone else did too, for no one seemed to notice how drunk I was. Then at the end of the night I was at my sister's and they were watching a Charlie Brown thanksgiving special and Snoopy gave Woodstock turkey. My bro-in-law said "wouldn't that make him a cannibal" and I said mom's parrot would eat chicken. My sister said "Oh yeah, mom's parrot is dead, but don't tell her." What? She's dead, she chewed through some electric cord and died. My mother gave this parrot, who was becoming kind of mean due to the fact that parrots require a lot of attention and there was no one around to care for her in the day time after my father died. She could be very aggravating because although she could speak and sing a little she preferred to squawk loudly. She even bit my mother on the lip. My mother gave it to a friend of her cousin's who had other birds to keep her company. So we thought we were doing it for the best and then the idiot lets that happen. So I feel really bad about it, she was annoying but it was because she was unhappy (my mother had bought her when I was a kid and before my father ever got sick so at the time she was a stay at home mom.) So because I was drunk and tired I started crying over the parrot. The last time I ever saw the parrot was the day the man was coming to pick her up. And I waggled my finger at her, she tipped her head way to the side so I could scratch her below her chin where the feathers were very soft. Poor thing. She had a fucked up life. I wish I had been older and understood better why she acted the way she did when my mother went back to work, and I could have been more sympathetic instead of annoyed at it. This time of year always brings back that when my dad got sick it really threw everything about our lives into turmoil and we all did the best we could to soldier on but I think now it's still catching up to us all. Things we missed. Things we should have done when we could have. People and things that we should have treated kinder. I think when we die we should go right back to the beginning knowing what we know already and try and undo the fucked up parts.

I don't know how they are going to go around not telling my mother the parrot died...what if she asks? "It's pining for the fjords." She will feel guilty for giving it to that man.


Sorry for semi-incoherent remarks...

"I’ve been hurting since I’ve bought the gimmick
About something called love
Yeah, something called love.
Well, that’s like hypnotizing chickens."
i can't stop listening to Iggy Pop this week
"Well, I never got my license to live
They won't give it up
So I stand at the world's edge
Well, I'm trying to break in
Oh no, it's not for me
And the sight of it all
Makes me sad and ill
That's when I want
Some weird sin
Things get too straight
I can't bear it
I feel stuck
Stuck on a pin
Well I'm trying to break in
And I know it's not for me
And the sight of it all
Makes me sad and ill
That's when I want
Some weird sin
That's when I want
Some weird sin
Just to relax with
That's some dumb weird sin
For a while anyway
With my head on the ledge
That's what you get out on the edge
Some weird sin
Things get too straight
I can't bear it
I feel stuck
Stuck on a pin
I'm trying to break in
Oh, I know it's not for me
Well, the sight of it all
Makes me sad and ill
That's when I want
Some weird sin
That's when I want
Some weird sin
Just to relax with
That's some dumb weird sin
For a while anyway
With my head out on the ledge
That's what you get out on the edge
Some weird sin
Some weird sin, some weird sin"
Iggy Pop and David Bowie yessiree

Sunday 20 November 2005

"I saw a young officer on deck the other day,....and he looked pretty damn familiar,.... even with his clothes on!"

What are they thinking remaking The Poseidon Adventure??!?!?!?!? You can't improve upon perfection, people!!!!! What am I doing with the remake on???!!!!!!?!?!? Why did Mrs Rosen just say "when Manny died" ---Manny's dead?!!??!? And now the whole disaster is caused by a terrorist!!???!!???!!! And what is that I just saw- Steve Guttenberg???? Damn you, NBC! I'm turning this shit off. There's got to be a morning after.

I want me some Shelley Winters, Ernest Borgnine, Red Buttons,Gene Hackman...discussion of suppositories, lonely men with vitamins,lil boys saying "Shove it, shove it, shove it",young gals in bad seventies outfits, mr witty "I do have a mistress...the Sea", Auld Lang Syne, OH SHIT! climbing the gaudy Christmas tree, everythings upside down, the fires, the water, mass hysteria, Mrs Rosen rescuing Reverend Scott..then :( wah! Then stupid young gals having stupid hysterics...and MY LINDA!!!! All that and Leslie Nielsen as the Captain.

Friday 18 November 2005

Livin' It Up, Livin' It Up, Oh Yeah! (Friday Night)

My sister wanted to "fix me up" tonight with a friend of a guy that she's dating. She springs this on me at the last possible minute. I just don't feel like it. I said no. Okay, she said. Hours went by. Finally her stupid guy comes over. "So what's wrong with my friend?" he queries. It's not your fucking friend it's me leave me alone!!!!!!!! I vant to be alone. I am in Greta Garbo mode, so piss off would ya?

My sister, who is 11 years my senior, goes into full Teen Beat personality about dating. It's her subject of the day every day. I guess cuz she married young but- ick. It's annoying. Last night I arrived home to catch her making out in the dark on the front porch. It's all she can talk about these days. Non-stop.

Me- I am anti-social, or I am fake social. This and buzznet are about as social as I get right now, apart from work. Which is sad, yet I don't care at this point.

"I've seen enough of that."

"I'm the boss, this is the champagne, merry Christmas"

My older niece doesn't really like to read. I do think it's true how much you are read to as a child affects your interest in reading as an adult. She never fell in love with books as a kid. A while back I told that is normal to get bored or frustrated when you're forced to read something that you don't want to, but if you find something that that you really interested in reading is a pleasure. Now, at her school they are reading Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo and she is totally enthralled with it. She was lit up talking about it...so many thoughts and ideas that it inspired. I was so happy to see that...it was an excellent book that I read in high school as well. In fact I still have a copy. I aksed if they were going to show the movie as well, she said they might if they had time. We did watch it back then, the movie was more 60's weird...there is a scene where "I'm the boss, this is the champagne, merry Christmas" is said about a million times, we wrote that in each others yearbooks that year. I think the reason the class picked that book off the list of books to read was because of the Metallica video "One" that uses scenes from that movie. There are many movies made in the 60's or early 70's of books I loved and they just had to add some trippy crap and make it sucky...for example The Bell Jar, and Charly (Flowers for Algernon). But I suppose that is better than now where they make movies of TV shows instead of books...Okay I am officially rambling on and on but another book our class in high school read that year was Kiss of the Spider Woman...cuz my friend Lena said she loved that movie. It was very good, but the whole time I was thinking "this doesn't seem like Lena's type of story". Halfway through it she says "this is not like the movie at all" -turns out she was thinking of some thriller movie called Black Widow. Oops.

g'night...

Thursday 17 November 2005

There's no place like home

I really need to get back to the Bay Area, now that I've left it I realize how much I love it...I went to visit my mother and her husband and we got Indian food, which I have been dying for...there are no Indian restaurants around where I live...there was an all you can eat buffet and I stuffed myself...it was wonderful.

Then I went to see my sister and her family. My nieces are incredible...they have each been writing stories about my mother's two chihuahuas. They will do a page with a drawing and a small paragraph. They are up to a hundred pages each! And the stories are very smart and funny. They amaze me...when I was a kid I would begin to do a big project like that and then abandon it partway through from boredom (come to think of it, that sums up my employment history as an adult heheh). Those two are smart cookies and so energetic.

Saturday 12 November 2005

Day Off or Off Day

Today I was going to drive to SF. Then I woke up late, felt a cold coming on...thought screw it. It's foggy, I'm blue, too many chores to do...oh it's turning into a song! I have to work at 8 am tomorrow anyway. Today I didn't even wake up until 8:30. I used to be a morning person but that fell by the wayside quite a while ago...

My niece is sick with a cold too. I am going to take and Airborne and hope for the best. Today we ate horribly unhealthy things...pancakes and hash browns and later, pizza. Pizza with the red pepper stuff on it, and that helps with a cold.

Now I am blogging in avoidance of doing laundry.

I want to stop using the word "like" all the time. It's sort of a Valley girl sound that creeps into the way I talk but I feel like it sounds a little too airhead at my age. Its hard to curb that habit, though, when you are living with a teenager. It's funny how you pick up little expressions and inflections (not to mention sinus infections) from the people you are around the most. My nieces word is "hugeungous". One of my co-workers is always saying Huh! as a response. That makes her sound like James Brown...okay she is not shouting HUH but saying an affirmative huh like uh-huh with out the uh... I bet I will pick up on that. It's like when one of my old boyfriends was in a band with 2 Canadians and then next thing you know he and I are saying Eh? at the end of every question and I still do that to this day, even sometimes when I am writing.

Okay now I am rambling. I was going to post some more pictures on buzznet but my computer is running really slow...I blocked some spyware and now maybe I will try again...I feel like laying around like a bum with this cold...

Thursday 10 November 2005

Carnation Instant Breakfaaaaaaaast!

You're gonna love it in an instant.

Every time I start to blog I realize I am just going to start complaining about things and that's no fun, is it? Let me thinkg of something nice...hmmm...my coworker recorded a Michael Palin travel documentary for me...that was nice. And it gives me something more enlightening to watch than the usual crap that I watch. So. Cool then.

Today I almost laughed at the security guard at work cause he was going on and on to some another coworker and I about his Gang days or gangsta days or whatever the heck and he was talking about stupid ass stuff like he was trying to impress us. Like he thought he was a badass. He claimed he was in coma. I didn't believe him cuz he also claimed he was stabbed in the face and there was no scar that I could see. Kris was once stabbed in the upper lip by a deranged busboy where he worked...with a butter knife and ten years ago...and still has a scar. Hell my mother was bit my her parrot like 20 years ago and still has a scar. So bottom line is I think he was full of shit and trying to come off like 50 Cent or whatever. Then he said he found Jesus. He said he was sick and asked God to help "but I just barely asked him and didn't expect anything. Then I got better." Blow it out your ass I wanted to say but didn't. And the other gal was all impressed and asked him what religion he was. He was Christian Apostolic. She was Catholic. She asked what I was and I said...well...i was raised Lutheran. She said "Oh..lots of people our age aren't religious" with a pitying look. I'm not even her age I don't think but I can never tell peoples ages. If I had to guess I would say that she was 5 years younger.

I said I wasn't going to complain then I went and bitched about something. Here is another good thing though...my computer just crashed who knows why after I typed all of the above. But I came back and hit recover post and there it was back again zippity zappity boy howdy. That is a very cool thing

Saturday 5 November 2005

Do you know what she did, your cunting daughter?

what a weird day today was....
my sister talked me into going to see some "motivational speaker" and I figured what the heck, it was free, it might be funny and I will have plenty of time to mock it when I'm living in a van down by the river.

So we went, and it was some weirdo Christian thing...my sister's friends had recommended this lady. She came out and started talking about speaking in tongues...I thought that means you are possessed by a demon. But apparently, according to this woman, that is a viable way of praying to God. She said in the morning (the moment she wakes up, before she puts on her makeup) she says a little prayer in tongues. She was literally going "hummminaaa summina babalooooo" okay she didn't say babaloo. But she asked for everyone to let the Holy Spirit fill them and all the people around me started making strange noises and some of them were weeping. I said Baba Booey three times. Ya know, I do speak in tongues from time to time but I would not think it was praying. I thought it was a symptom of drunkeness. Anyway, my sister- who is Christian as hell (not that Hell is Christian...I mean..ya know what I mean) turned to me and said let's go. Which was good cuz I was choking back more giggles than I could stifle without causing myself physical pain. This preacher lady was like a cross between Dorothy and Blanche on the Golden Girls. She had Dorothy's face and voice and Blanche's hair and accent. What's scary is if it hadn't been for my sister I probably would have continued to watch. It was crazy. You're all individuals! "Yes! We are all individuals!" heheheh.

Thursday 3 November 2005

House o' Mouse

Yesterday, from out of the photo printer, there ran a wee little mousie. I was refilling the water tank just as Ms Mousie did a quick run toward me, then pivoted quick as a wink and ran back underneath. I almost spilled the water but I was proud of myself for not screaming. If it was a big spider I would have screamed.

I guess it was making a home inside the machine because it is warm in there, but I am afraid it will chew a cord to something important and the machine will break. Or we will have a paper jam and open the machine to find mousie jam. Jessica theorized that the photo processing chemicals will cause it to mutate so then our store will be not only mouse infested but, horror of horrors, mutant mouse infested!

That would actually improve the dull dreary days somewhat.

Tuesday 1 November 2005

Shoporgasm

Today I went skipping about wildly in response to making several purchases. It is high time I got laid. Sheesh.

I am kinda broke and I must stop using my credit card. I would cut that little motherfucker up right now except for then how would I buy anyone any Christmas presents? The money I earn goes to

a) rent
b) phone, credit card, and internet bills
c) gas
d) food

and then it is gone. Sometimes it is gone before the food bit, another useful diet tip.

Well shit!

But anyway I bought me some Revenge of the Sith, it wa a forgone conclusion that I would buy that but then you know what those bastards went and did? They released the entire series of Sex and the City, in a velvety package...I had not bought any of the series yet...always intending to and yet always managing to restrain myself...Now today I had my regular 10% discount plus also a 10% off coupon plus also when you buy that they give you a $10 giftcard so it pretty much paid for Star Wars too. So how could I resist when I am bored as fuck over here.

Went on bad first date. I still love my old boyfriend and he still loves me and he is one of my favorite friends so I guess the only way I will be able to really start dating other people is to not be friends with him any more and that would suck. Anyway the guy I went out with was a former coworker of my mothers, who met me at her wedding...and he was just. I dunno. You know how sometimes people make you uncomfortable for no particular reason? He was kind of a staring type and an overly interested type and that really puts me off. I am like the only girl in the world who is put off by a guy being interested in her heheheheheh. I am pretty much fucked in the dating department. The word of the day is FUCK say it loud and proud.

My coworker hurt his back, really bad, so he may be out for 2 weeks or more which means I am going to be working a lot. Which is good in a way but yuck in another way cuz now other shopoholics like myself are hitting the store hardcore and being impatient and annoying and pushy.

ANd xmas is coming up which is depressing and family life is awkward for the holidays with my oldest sister divorced, my father deceased and greatly missed and my mother remarried to a guy who is I will admit very nice but nevertheless is not my dad. So it's just a reminder. And his daughter is bitchy.

The word of the day is FUCK and the sentence structure of the day is run-on and poorly punctuated. I am over sharing and can't afford a therapist so thank you internet for allowing me to just type it all out and share my neurosis with the world in general.

Sunday 30 October 2005

oh happy day

I found something I was looking high and low for. When you stop looking, you find it. Ya know?

Here are two cool and cute family things that happened recently...
One of the twins had to write a paper for her class about her family. She was explaining how her brother is her half brother: "how this happened," she wrote, "is his mother was pregnant with him and my father was somehow involved". Too cute, that kid. 2nd grade. I dunno if being twins makes kids learn language faster or what but they use big words and they both can read amazingly fast...they are very smart and funny. I miss living near to them so much!

The other is that I got to see my nephew's new band, they are fantastic...he was amazing. And the cute thing was after they played his girlfriend was helping him put away his cords, etc and these lil gals came up to him and asked if they could get their picture taken with him. And his girlfriend didn't bat an eye about it and even volunteered to take the picture for them. AWwwww. They are good kids. Well, he is an adult now but U know what I mean.

Tuesday 25 October 2005

Computer Blue

is a Prince song

Wow I haven't been on the internet in a while because my computer was completely screwed up. Now it is finally fixed. It had 6 viruses. My computer is a sleaze.

I was lucky because my sister has a friend who owes her money and this friend has a husband who is a member of the geek squad so he came over and fixed my computer. Some months ago he had fixed my sisters computer so now they must be pretty much square. All though you never know with my sister. Case in point (what am I saying? you can tell I am tired when I say stuff like case in point, but anyway) my sister will think nothing of finishing any grocery item I buy, despite the fact that she rarely buys any groceries. She once ate a block of pepper jack cheese that I was saving for a recipe I was making the next day. But she guards stuff she bought with her life. She always buys this cheap ass wine that is like $2.99 and then you can tell she intentionally hides the bottle behind other stuff in the fridge like she thinks I will take some. Tonight she was watching her favorite show and I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She tore into the kitchen like shot to grab the wine bottle and pour the last glass for herself. During the show which she never misses... so I know she was doing it so I couldn't have any. Sis I don't want your ghetto wine. And if I did I would say "do you mind if I have some" She doesn't ever ask first about anything. She polished off a bag of chips I bought. She would never buy chips herself. I could call her on this but she is always having issue after issue. So maybe her having the guy fix my computer makes it so I can just ignore her annoying habits. Anyway I have gone down two pants sizes since I moved in with her, and I was a bit chubby before, so I guess that is one way to diet.

Having the dude over to fix the computer prompted me to vacuum and do laundry and straighten up, so that was a bonus because I usually can't get motivated to clean my room. But now the clean sheets and stuff are piled on top of the unmade bed and my cat was giving me a dirty look like get off the goddamn computer already. Now she is sleeping on a tiny corner of the bed that doesn't have junk piled all over it. Now I will have to disturb her. This reminds me of a Fuzzy Memory by Jack Handey...because that is just how my brain works..."What started out to be a nice pleasant drive in the country turned into the "Afternoon from Hell."
First of all, when Marta and I were leaving, the cats looked at us like, "Where are you going?"
Then, when we were driving, we had to stop and get gas. So right there that's time taken away from looking at the scenery.
Then, when we get home, guess what the cats are doing? Sleeping! Man, what next?" I literally just googled "marta cats sleeping man what next jack handey" and the quote came up on a site. This internet is about the craziest shit ever. What next indeed.

Friday 23 September 2005

If you know me, you know I have always been kind of conflicted about religion. But my sister forwarded me this email, and I really like it.





I dreamed I had an interview with God.
"Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview Me?"

"If you have the time," I said.



God smiled and said: "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; What questions do you have in mind to ask me?"

"What surprises you most about mankind?"


God answered:

"That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.



"That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.

"That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.


"That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived."

God's hands took mine and we were silent for awhile and then I asked...



"As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"

God replied with a smile:


"To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved.

"To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives.



"To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis!

"To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

"To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them.

"To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.

"To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.

"To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.

"To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally different.

"To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them...and likes them anyway.

"To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves."

I sat there for awhile enjoying the moment. I thanked Him for his time and for all that He has done for me and my family, and He replied, "Anytime. I'm here 24 hours a day. All you have to do is ask for me, and I'll answer."

~Author Unknown ~

Thursday 15 September 2005

Why I Hate to Read the Newspaper

Besides all the normal depressing things such as hurricanes, inept political leaders, etc...There is seriously fucked up shit going on all over. Example for today: in Florida...A married couple was convicted of torturing 5 of their 7 adopted children. Starvation...pulling toenails out with a pair of pliers...cattle prod...they had 14 year old twins that weighed 38 pounds each. Do you know what the sentence was for these sick pieces of shit? 15 years. 15 YEARS...that is a sneeze compared to what they did to those children. It raises disturbing questions... How do seriously evil demented people like that manage to adopt 7 children??? is it that easy to adopt children? Imagine an unwanted pregnancy... Abortion seems kind compared to the chance of letting some crazy demented bastards have your kid. And what the hell kind of sentence is that? 15 years. The prisons are clogged with drug offenders yet immoral rotten people like that are allowed to go free.

I have nothing else to say tonight but what the fuck is wrong with this world?

Wednesday 31 August 2005

Crap we've said since forever

Algy saw a bear
the bear saw algy
the bear was bulgy
and the bulge was algy

the cutest boy (the cutest boy)
I ever saw ( I ever saw)
was sippin' ci- (was sippin' ci)
der through a straw (der though a straw)
the cutest boy I ever saw, was sippin' cider though a, cider through a straw

I asked him if he'd show me how to sip some cider through a straw
so cheek to cheek and jaw to jaw we sipped that cider through a straw
but now and then that straw would slip and we'd sip cider lip to lip
that's how I got my mother in law and 29 kids all call me ma
the moral of this little joke is don't sip cider sip a coke

Miss Lucy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell
Miss Lucy went to heaven, the steamboat went to
Hell-o operator, please give me number 9
and if you disconnect me, I'll kick you in the
Behind the refrigerator, there was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy fell upon it, and cut her little
Ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies
Miss Lucy told this to me the day before she died died died

Fried ham friend ham
Cheese and bologna
After the macaroni
we'll have pickles mustard and relish
then we'll have some more fried ham fried ham fried ham

My name is l-i l-i
chickle-i chickle-i
pom pom baby
don't like whiskey
Chinese, Japanese, Indian FREEZE

Kemo kymo Delaware
Ma-rhyme, ma-rhome
Ma-rumplestickle
Bum's tickle
Soup back nit pack
Periwinkle
Polly won't you kye me oh

Tuesday 23 August 2005

I knew the bride when she used to...




Anyway excuse me while I repeat what I said already elsewhere:

So…Mom’s wedding

Went very well… I have a few pictures and I will be getting copies of the more formal ones. A few things went screwy…Grooms tux did not arrive on time and emergency back up had to be Fed-Exed in. Groom’s haircut, which he got on the morning of the wedding, left him with a small bald patch in the back. Whoopsie! The DJ kinda sucked, as he did not seem to be playing anything that my mother picked out. He did get people in a conga line for “Hot Hot Hot” and then he kept it going with the Macarena and the Chicken Dance. Sorta funny. My nieces, the twins, held each other by the hands and spun around wildly in circles for most of the songs. I danced with my mom to “Livin’ La Vida Loca”, another song which I am pretty sure she didn’t pick. Spent the night at my sister’s, then…

The next day traveled to San Francisco and saw my old building. Saw my old apartment, they ripped up the rug to reveal beautiful hardwood floors. So that was nice. Then they put more modern cupboards in the kitchen and that looked awful. It was so cute before. BAH! No tenant yet, and when there is one they are going to be paying about 300 dollars more than I was. Good Lord. Went to Louie’s…and had sandwiches. No energy to do anything else really so watched Napoleon Dynamite. The next morning we took BART to the airport and it was off to Disneyland…whoo hooo

It is Disneyland’s 50th Anniversary… and I was surprised to realize that the Jungle Cruise, Tiki Room, and the dinosaur bit on the Railroad had been there since it opened. It was crowded, but we did that thing of getting on the popular (read: Space Mountain) rides early…going to California Adventure when the Magic Kingdom crowd was off the heezy, and going on popular ones (read: Indiana Jones) during Fantasmic or the fireworks. The newest thing there (I think) was Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters…a bit like the Roger Rabbit ride except for you get to shoot lazer guns at targets. We went twice. The first time I sucked at it. The second time I wore my glasses and quadrupled my score. Which more or less got me over my Jan Brady-like aversion to wearing glasses.

The newest thing in California Adventure was the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, and it was so much fun and it never had a line. I couldn’t figure out why. People did freak out on it though, and they take your picture at the top, and you get to see who was freaked out and who had been on the ride before and was posing for the picture.

A few more things:

Most popular t-shirt worn by guests of the park: Misfits…and running a close second was Vote for Pedro


Most popular Disney character t-shirt sold and worn at the park: Jack Skellington?!?!? Didn't know that was so popular.... And running a close second was Mickey Mouse of course.


Most common sight after 11 pm: kid in stroller sleeping and older brother or sister screaming in anger or else still bouncing along happily.


Best food: I was all over the spicy kabob at the Bengal Barbecue…mmm. They have healthier stuff in Disneyland nowadays too, you can get a fruit plate even.


Best hot dog: Award Wieners in California Adventure.

Best Ice Cream: the soft serve in California Adventure that has a flavor swirl.

Words I learned in Disneyland: Manos, brazos…and of also Permanecer sentados, por favor.
Creepy things in Disneyland: a bearded man in a t-shirt shorts and Santa hat that clearly did not work there and gave me the creeps cuz he was by himself and clearly seemed like he was trying to attract kids attention with the Santa hat and all…get back to the north pole asshole. Also a creepy man in a shirt that said “trust me, I work here” except he obviously didn’t work there since he didn’t have a name badge…err…


Biggest Scare: the first drop on the Tower of Terror. And also the ride attendant on the Haunted Mansion…he was standing in a shadow and when I noticed him I jumped and said "whoo he scared me", then he apparently clung to the back of our “Doom Buggy” til it was partly up the first staircase then popped his head around and said “who, me?” with his flashlight held below his face all sinister-like. And I went "WAAH!"

Who knew?: that Steve Martin got his start at Disneyland.

No more: Bear Country Jamboree. !?!? Also they are turning the submarine ride into Finding Nemo, so no more “helmsman, steer clear of the tottering columns”

Sunday 7 August 2005

Even the Losers Get Lucky Sometimes

I hope I do someday eheheheheheh


My oldest (eldest?) niece just got a badass haircut-- it looks really good, kinda "That Girl" mod...awesome...she is too cute.

now I am going to shamelessly steal and quote Tom Petty lyrics just cuz I fucking love that guy!!!


Well she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn't help thinkin' that there
Was a little more to life
Somewhere else
After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
Yeah, an d if she had to die
Tryin' she had one little promise
She was gonna keep


Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

It was kind of cold that night
She stood alone on her balcony
She could the cars roll by
Out on 441
Like waves crashin' in the beach
And for one desperate moment there
He crept back in her memory
God it's so painful
Something that's so close
And still so far out of reach

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

Well, it was nearly all summer we sat on your roof
Yeah, we smoked cigarettes and we stared at the moon
And I'd show you stars you never could see
Baby, it couldn't have been that easy to forget about me

Baby, time meant n othing, anything seemed real
Yeah, you could kiss like fire and you made me feel
Like every word you said was meant to be
No, it couldn't have been that easy to forget about me


Baby, even the losers get lucky sometimes
Even the lo sers keep a little bit of pride
They get lucky sometimes

Two cars parked on the overpass,
Rocks hit the water like broken glass
I should have known right then it was too good to last
God, it's such a drag when you're livin' in the past

Baby, even the losers get lucky sometimes
Even the losers keep a little bit of pride
They get lucky sometimes

Baby, even the losers get lucky sometimes
Even the losers keep a little bit of pride
Yeah, they get lucky sometimes


You know , sometimes, I don’t know why,
But this old town just seems so hopeless
I ain’t really sure, but it seems I remember the good times
Were just a little bit more in focus

But when she puts her arms around me,
I can, somehow, rise ab ove it
Yeah man, when I got that little girl standing right by my side,
You know, I can tell the whole wide world, shove it,

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl,
Yeah, she looks so right, she’s all I need tonight

Every now and then, I get down to the end of a day,
I’ll have to stop, ask myself, what’ve I done?
It just seems so useless to have to work so hard,
And nothin’ ever really seem to come from it

And then she looks m e in the eye, says, we gonna last forever,
And man, you know I can’t begin to doubt it
No, because this feels so good and so free and so right,
I know we ain’t never goin’ change our minds about it

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl,
Yeah, she looks so right, she’s all I need tonight

Yeah, every time it seems like there ain’t nothin’ left no more,
I find myself havin’ to reach out and grab hold of somethin’
Yeah, I just catch myself wonderin’, waitin’, worryin’
About some silly little things that don’t add up to nothin’.

And then she looks me in the eye, says, we gonna last forever,
And man, you know I can’t begin to doubt it
No, because this feels so good and so free and so right,
I know we ain’t never goin’ change our minds about it.

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl,
Yeah, she looks so right, she’s all I need tonight



Last night I dreamed that my mother was dating someone my age (by the way the Tom Petty lyrics are done lest you think Tom Petty had a stupid dream). I said (in the dream) to my sister " I can't figure it out...I don't trust him. I would think he was after her money but she doesn't have any money" heheh anyways I am tripping over her getting married it is weird but I hope it makes her happy. We should all at least get a chance to be happy in life... if no one else makes us happy we have to figure it out for ourselves...wow I sound stupid okay I will shut up now
"oh my my, oh hell yes, honey put on that party dress, buy me a drink, sing me a song, take me as I come cuz I can't stay long".

Saturday 30 July 2005

Unfaithful

I feel like I have been cheating on my blogspot by journaling on my buzznet and hoo boy I just be tired cuz my pet peeve is "journaling"...journal as verb. cuz it reminds me of my psycho therapy days and what a dumb sentence anyway here is what I said ..... on buzznet. just cuz. just for scuzz. just cuz I love copy and paste what a genius thing aren't computers kind of warm and fuzzy? know what I am having panic attack breathing tonight and it is not even me who should be panicking (long story) anyways(maybe time for more psychotherapy):

99 problems but a bitch ain't one....
Sorry I just love that title, it makes me laugh for no apparent reason so I thought I would steal it. Cuz I need a giggle.



I miss San Francisco...so very much! I hate it here. Well, I love my job, which is weird for me. But I don't know anyone except my sister and I am fast realizing that I don't relate to her at all so I feel kind of isolated for the moment. And there is not a whole lot to do around here either.



Yesterday I went out to lunch alone, and brought a book. I have done this a million times and it is no big deal. But yesterday I walked in, and the hostess goes "table for two?" even though I was alone. So I told her one, and she looked at me funny. Then last night I went to the movies just to get out of the house, and asked for one ticket and the gal at the ticket counter goes "two?" ...no, one. One dammit! So then I felt like a lame-o. Truth be told, I kinda like being alone at a movie. There are very few people I am compatable with movie theater-wise. My sister Ena is good. My Dad was good. My friend Cora from high school was good. My mom is okay but she makes me nervous cuz she bites her nails the entire time. My sister that I live with talks aloud...that I can't stand. My last boyfriend was a chain smoker so in the movie theater he would fidget the entire time. I have no idea why I am rambling on an on about this...but I gotta get ready for work. Oh yeah, I saw War of the Worlds, even though I hate Tom Cruise. It was pretty good, it made me want to watch the old one again...there were similar parts but then I haven't seen that one in years. It was scary...probably more so cuz loud noises freak me out and it is always louder in a movie theater...Actually the scariest bit was Tom Cruises acapella rendition of Lil Deuce Coupe heheh.

Could Cooter be Cuter?

Heheh I was just reading Ben Jones of the show Dukes of Hazzard's opinion of the new movie...go Cooter go Cooter go! I liked that show a lot when I was a little girl and can I just say...Jessica Simpson? ech! The movie looks crappy. Trust Cooter on this one I think....plus also in the previews etc where is Roscoe? Roscoe was like my favorite character on that show the great big goof...it is the guy that J. Simp says "something bounced up in my undercarriage" to?!? if so, then where is Flash the cute lil doggie??!?!?!? piss on that.



Tomorrow I am going to see my nephews band...tomorrow night that is and tomorrow day I think I may well see Mr and Mrs Smith.... I was previewed out on that (meaning I saw the preview toooo much) but I keep hearing how good it is and also...Vince Vaughn...I never knew I liked that guy til the Wedding Crashers...alrighty kinda cute. Also I want to see that penguin documentary...what is it about nature docs that get me all teary eyed? I am sappy. I am seeing movies like a mad movie-seein' mamasita but I guess it's just cuz there ain't a darn thing to do around here. Well anyway my nephew's show should be fun and I will get some pictures if I can. My sister says (of his band) they changed their style. How is that? i asked. They stopped screaming she replied. huh?? Apparently they were a style called screamo, which was an offshoot of something called emo, which just proves I am getting old cuz I dunno WTF any of that means.

Tuesday 26 July 2005

Lipsmackin' Thirstquenchin' Acetastin' Motivatin' Goodbuzzin' Cooltalkin' Highwalkin' Fastlivin' Evergivin' Coolfizzin' Big Steaming Pile Of Crap.

Tuesday 19 July 2005

What Dumbass Said The Following....?


Yep, you guessed it, Mr Tom Cruise the dumbass of the year. More at TomCruiseisNuts.com

I never liked that guy and now he irritates me even more.

But enough about him.

Work was kinda fun, we are learning to process film. It is both more and less involved than I imagined, if that makes any sense. I was a bit annoyed at the one manager yesterday...she says to me (during the training) "You're so quiet". And that's a problem because??? I am trying to pay attention and learn. Shit! I didn't get that gene that a lot of chicks have that causes them to talk incessantly about themselves all hours of the day. I think my oldest sister got mine, an extra one. She never shuts up about herself and in fact she doesn't listen to anyone else. Me I just blog about myself heheh. They're coming to take me away, hahah, me and Tom Cruise. "Ding-dong, there's the doorbell. Hello, man in white. He's gonna make you all well, get you through the night"- Nellie McKay. Only if it doesn't involve psychiatric drugs, says Tom. Ya know, I am kind of down on psychiatric drugs myself (except perhaps Valium hee hee) but who am I to criticize anybody else about their choices. (Except of course Tom Cruise and my oldest sister. Okay, so I am a total fucking hypocrite. LOL)

Monday 11 July 2005

Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting

We went dancing at this place Saturday night and holy schnikes I have never seen such a wide variety of people. Of various ages and styles. From cowboy hats to bouffants to mullets and everything in between. Ages from 20's to 70's. I swing danced with this lil fella, I would have said he was 65 but knowing my mom is 62 and the Rolling Stones are in their sixties, this fella must have been 75 if he was a day. But he still had the moves. It was fun. My sister was too much into looking seriously for a guy she would be interested in dating though, and that got sort of annoying. If I am going out dancing I can't see it as anything else but for a laugh. Cuz in order to dance in front of people I have to be a bit drunk, wel rather drunk really, and who wants to meet anyone seriously like that?

Thursday 7 July 2005

Terrorist Attack in London

Link to UK Blogs

I'm so terribly sorry to hear it, London is my favorite city in the world. My heart goes out to everyone affected by the attacks today. Another reminder of what a scary world we all live in.

Saturday 2 July 2005

Beware the Giggle Loop!

Coupling is one of my very favorite shows, and I was reminded of the giggle loop yesterday...the giggle loop is, to quote the character Jeff: "You are surrounded by people for a moment of silence when the Giggle Loop begins... Suddenly out of nowhere this thought comes into your head: the worst thing I could possibly do during a minute's silence is laugh. And as soon as you think that you almost do laugh -- automatic reaction. But you don't, you control yourself, you're fine. Whew."

"But then you think how terrible it would have been if you laughed out loud in the middle of a minutes silence. And so you nearly do again, only this time it's a bigger laugh. And then you think how awful this bigger laugh would have been. And so you nearly laugh again, only this time it's a very big laugh, it is an enormous laugh. Let this bastard out, and you get whiplash. And suddenly you are in the middle of this completely silent room and your shoulders are going like you are drilling the road. And what do you think of this situation? Oh dear Christ, you think it's funny!"

I was at orientation for my new job, we had to watch these horrible training videos, I was surrounded by eighteen year old boys...a video on safety showed a man who had lost an eye during the course of a days work at this chain store. That's not funny. But we had been sitting in this room for hours not talking. How inappropriate to laugh at the poor man who lost his eye at work. The Giggle Loop began....next was a lady describing climbing up to get something a shelf, she gestured with her hand...she was missing a finger. That's really not funny...I thought I was going to crack up. It was a little like what happens to me in church. I was biting the inside of my lip...trying not to laugh. Then there was a silly and poorly acted dramatization of someone falling and hitting their head. It was not real, so blessed relief. Everyone laughed. A bit too hard. The Giggle Loop caught us all!

Thursday 30 June 2005

Bloody Hell!

Thai Fisherman Catch 646-pound Catfish



That is one big mofo!

I have "orientation" for the new job 2morrow....wahoo

Monday 20 June 2005

Sucking Corporate...errr...Thumb?

I just got a spam email from "Young Herring" which offered "Fast solution to your problems in a bed!" LOL that is too funny...now I got the giggles.

I think I got a job! I mean I do, but...well it'll do for now. Actually they make you do a piss test, which is charming, and then it takes 5-10 days for a background check. Corporate America, God love 'em! So it's conditional and I worry that they may just forget about me...I'm funny that way. There are really no mom n' pop type stores around my neighborhood. Which is kinda sad. But anyway, I have worked for both large and small companies and both have their ups and downs. I am just happy to find a job so that now I can think about what I want to get my BA in...I'm between 3 subjects and I want to be realllllly sure this time.

I want to say thanks to Dirty Jase for reading my blog and even linking to it! Here is a link to yours Left Hand Pathos...which I will put in list o' links along the side as well...

Now I can lay in the sun and really relax cuz things are looking up!

Tuesday 14 June 2005

Whoo hoooooo!!

So sweet, I had a goose named after me! Named after my handle (is that what you call it, like trucker??? We got a great big convoy, ladedadeda...)....that's so cool!

In other news, I may well be addicted to Dairy Queen Oreo Cheesequake Blizzard. MMMMM.

I am slightly more optimistic about the job hunting today, 2 possibilities that look good, not that I want to jinx them. But it was a beautiful sunny day and the sun'll come out tomorrow....heheh I keep singing tonight. Must be all the sugar.

Monday 13 June 2005

Michael Jackson Verdict: Re-goddamn-diculous

That just pisses me off so much. I guess famous people don't have to be accountable for anything. See also Robert Blake and OJ. The world is nuts, I swear!

Wednesday 8 June 2005

What up?

A few things since I haven’t written in a while---

1. Job-hunting SUCKS!
2. Revenge of the Sith RULES!
3. What am I doing with my life?

I had an interview at a store I was really hoping to work in. First, they kept me waiting till half an hour after my scheduled interview time. Then, when the manager finally showed up to interview me, she said she lost my application. So then I had to fill out another. Then she asked annoying questions like how would I go about pushing their special promotions on customers. Really obnoxious super corporate shit. Then after all that she said the openings weren’t available til possibly mid-July. D’oh!

Then every other freaking store wants applicants to apply online, which means you have no idea who to talk to in order to follow up on it. Damn it all! The world has gone completely mad!!! I had to fill out an online app for a grocery store, which contained 70 pages of three questions each…such charming things as “It is maddening when a guilty prisoner is released- Strongly agree? Agree? Disagree? Strongly disagree?” Bite my ass. WTF does that have to do with being a grocery clerk. I guess they are trying to weed out people that get all tied up in issues and opinions and might piss customers off. But whatever happened to interviewing people in person. Ya know? Then I did have an actual interview that was sorta normal so I might possibly get a graveyard shift at a coffee joint, right now I am practicing staying up late. In case you wondered, I'm insane!

I thoroughly dug the last Star Wars. It made me sad though, because it was sad anyway, and then there is the whole fact of my dad not being around to see it. He took me to all the others when I was a little girl. There was a letter in Entertainment Weekly from some guy who said exactly what I was thinking, which is that all the fanboys bitch and moan about the new ones because “that’s not how they would have done it”. But it is Lucas’s thang and he should do what he wants to do. And I think he did well. The only thing I get annoyed about is that you can’t get the originals un-tinkered with on DVD. But I still have em on tape so I guess that’ll have to do. PS: the new Mad Magazine has funny Star Wars stuff in it, a parody of George Lucas that is hilarious. There is my geekiness for the day. Or night as the case may be.

What am I doing with my life? I don’t freaking know…. what else is new, right?

“Beth I know you’re lonely, and I hope you feel alright, cause me and the boys will be playin’ all night” lil Kiss for ya there… I am listening to stuff I downloaded, and it is a pretty crackhead combo, jumps from Judas Priest to Zapp and Roger to Fats Domino to Bikini Kill to Elton John to Public Enemy to…well you get the idea.

Saturday 28 May 2005

Hoo boy!

This day sucks a bit. I wanna go back home to SF waaaah! But I know what I gotta do. I know I gotta get back on track in life, oh how I do. But it is easier to avoid it. Oh well. Nothing like going from having your own apartment to having to share a house. Right now only me and my niece are home. And her new boyfriend. And how fucking awkward is that. I didn't sign up to be the one that keeps an eye on teenagers. She and my nephew are a lot different than they were as little kids. I swear as soon as I have medical insurance again I am getting my tubes tied. I have no patience for this shit. Sorry for being bitchy and boring but it is one of THOSE DAYS. The best thing about THOSE DAYS is that eventually they do end and then things may be pretty much okey-doke again. They sure drag on though, don't they?

Tuesday 10 May 2005

Do Hey Fucky

I am sitting here drinking a large can of Foster's (is there any other size heheh) and trying to sort out how in the hell I have amassed such a large collection of crap....tons of books, cds, movies...and worse...tons of photo albums. Not that photo albums are bad, but I have more than my mother does and she is twice my age. And I have too many clotes...that I may well never wear again but just might so I feel like keeping em. I am getting rid of lots of office attire though, cause if I ever have to work in an office again I will vomit. Plus I have tons of old papers that I cannot seem to throw out, and old letters and things that make me smile or scratch my head in puzzlement when I read them...for example this note from my best high school friend Cora.

1990

Dear Jamie (aka Butt Nugget)



What’s up? Do you know what it says on my desk… “I gave you my purity you stole. Did you think I wouldn’t recognize this compromise, am I too fucking stupid to realize.” Don’t ask me what that means. It also says (on my desk)…Testies David…Allen has no dick….I love Allen…SEXGOD…Bibi…Do Hey Fucky…and that’s about it. I don’t know why I am sitting here reading the desk. I am bored, I guess.

Love your Cuz, Sphincter Woman


Do Hey Fucky is my favorite part...cuz WTF does that mean. I just posted the same letter on Buzznet but oh well, it bears repeating, at least in my mind it does.

And here I am once again avoiding packing by goofing off on the computer...but there is something so gross about moving. Anyway. I am moving in with my sister whom I have not lived with since I was nine and she got married. She is now divorced and I will be living with her and her teenage daughter. I am actually looking forward to it, and grateful for the opportunity as it will mean less rent and I can go back to school.

Whenever I drink Foster's, I am reminded of joke about how compared to Australian beer, American beer is a bit like making love in a canoe. Cause it's fucking close to water.

Friday 6 May 2005

May the Force be with you, always...



my silly rendition of a Return of the Jedi coloring book page...in honor of all the star wars bloggers.... Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, and Boba Fett. Made me laugh during a shitty time, so thanks!

And in a fit of Jedi/Sith mania, I resurrected my beloved Yoda Mahir

Okay, so...I'm a total dork.

Thursday 5 May 2005

FOUND

Didn't know what to get Ma for Mudder's Day so went fruitlessly searching for something to catch my eye...nothing. Decided to get her a book... she likes celeb autobio's so got her Goldie Hawn A Lotus in the Mud or some such blah blah, and Kirstie Alley how to lose your ass. Then I got the book Found...as in Found Magazine...intriguing. And I have some weird stuff I found that I could send...a weird poem one of my former neighbors wrote. And I just tossed a bunch of other stuff..well, maybe someone else will find it. It's odd, so many people have similar handwriting and there are a few items in there were the writing is dead on like someone that I knew or know currently.

Yesterday, while cutting asparagus I sliced the living crap out of my fingertip and man did that hurt like a mofo. It bled forever. Then in the night the band-aid was falling off so I went to change it and when I looked at it again I got dizzy and started to faint like a lil sissy. So I grabbed the band-aid and laid down on the bed to put it on, because you can't faint when you are lying down apparently. So long as you lie down before you actually faint, cause either way you pretty much end up in a horizontal position don't ya. Don't ask me, I'm rambling on and it is a bit hard to type without using the bandaged finger.

Wednesday 4 May 2005

Don't Panic

We saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy today. I really enjoyed it, apart from the depressing fact of going to the movies with my soon to be ex boyfriend that I am moving away from. We want to stay friends, but that never really works, does it? I mean I have one other ex that I talk to every now and again and like as a friend, but it is not as though we are super close and hang out together. It's a bummer. I have been told by several people that I am doing the right thing, I sure hope that is true. Anyway. I sound like Marvin the android from the film today. Sam Rockwell was the best in it. It could have used more goofy lines from the books, and indeed it skipped over a great many things, but I suppose you can't have everything crammed into under 2 hours, now can ya?

I am mailing something to some "writing school" that is probably shady, but I just want to see what they say. It was something I wrote long ago for that site that was called WrittenByMe.com and since I bothered to retype it I posted it here under the date I wrote it...so here it is, a true story about me, and the clue to what it is about is When You're Sliding Into First and You're Feeling Something Burst.
When you're sliding into third and you lay a juicy turd was always my favorite line of that particular song. Cause I am sick.

Friday 29 April 2005

Random Funny Shit

This site Something Awful has a funny gallery of spoofs of those Choose Your Own Adventure books...Love the "Dude, You're Pretty Much Fucked" one :)

This Blogspot, Blinkorama, is made up entirely of pictures of people blinking on tv. AS you can tell I am bored today and so, since I am housitting for my mother and she has the supa-dupa fast cable internet, I am staring blankly at the computer screen. I am trying to escape the reality of my life, which is moving for the umpteenth time and dealing with an alcoholic and also other assorted family drama. But I will save the drama for my Mama, as they say, so here is another funny site

Miscellaneous, Etc.

There is a hilarious parody of those depressing chain emails that get forwarded about peoples misfortunes and try to lay a guilt trip on you...next time you get one, copy and paste and send this back instead...
Whoever came up with it kicks ass.

Tons more stuff at Bored.com

Monday 25 April 2005

Doing the approaching thirty-one purge…. Gonna move again…move on. I am trying to eliminate lots of crap so that I don’t have so much to move. I have tons of CD’s. Mainly because I used to work at a Wherehouse Music and we had the used CD’s… employees could buy ‘em for a buck. So therefore, there may have been an artist who had one or two songs I liked, yet I would buy the whole CD because it was so cheap. Even if they were cheesy, which most of them were. So as I am packing, I am putting the one or two songs I like off each CD into my computer. Oddly, they often seem to be the eighth song on the disk… Then I will take the CD’s themselves downstairs to the laundry room where someone might like em. I have been leaving boxes of stuff I don’t want down there and usually someone else has use for it. It’s kind of cool, actually. Instead of sitting there on my shelf someone may well grab this Bobby Brown or Winger or INXS and say “hey, I used to love that when I was a kid”. Okay, so I am down to some shady CD’s, but the movie selection today will be pretty cool. I was a Blockbuster employee so I have loads of tapes because we could sell them used as well. Stuff that I like quite a lot but have not watched in a long time and could conceivably rent in the future if I really felt like seeing it again (and also stuff that seems to be on television all the time.) I am even going to put my Star Wars trilogy, the original tapes….I have the DVD, and I don’t like the special edition added stuff…but I also have the tapes that were my dad’s from the nineties when they re-released the original versions for the last time. So I was only keeping the old old ones for nostalgia’s sake, but what the hell. I looked on ebay to see if they were worth something as a collectable, but not really. So now, it’s a freebie for someone in the building. I might put my Indiana Jones too. And ask for the DVD for my birthday.

This is kind of depressing… but I do feel like I am ready for a big change and it is not going to happen if I stay in my current situation. So I am getting rid of excess crap, for some reason it makes me feel a little bit energized. Though I am terribly sick of starting from scratch every few years. I hope I have really learned something and will have better judgment in future. Every time I have a major change I say that. Then I go on to work for works sake at jobs I hate and date guys that I think are cute, despite the obvious warning signs of potential problems… This time, it has to be different. I can’t go through life with blinders on and hope for the best. I have to make it happen. I sound like a self-help book and an asshole. Oh well, like I said I am purging right now. Blah blah blah.

Monday 18 April 2005

At the movies....

Today I saw Sin City, and, know what? I didn't really care for it. Then again, I was in a lousy mood so I might not have cared for anything. I liked the Bruce Willis bit, though it was depressing, but the other parts...I was just like...whatever. But I guess it's not a good idea when I am feeling glum. I wanted to see Kung Fu Hustle but it is not out here yet. I might have watched Fever Pitch except I am totally down on romance these days.

There was a preview for a new movie, apparently starring Bob Hoskins, as he was the person shown the most in the preview. So I thought, good, cuz I like that fella...then they never even mentioned his name. What up with that? Anyhoo...

Then there was a preview for Hitchiker's Guide, and it looks interesting so I will definitely go. Also there was a preview for House of Wax which they cleverly started by showing Paris Hilton through the viewfinder of a video camera, so for a split second you think- Paris's porno is getting a theatrical release? Whafuck? and then you go ohhh...

And of course there was the weird paper bags talking about Fandango and "Inconsiderate Cellphone Man" who is a doppelganger for every third person I pass on the street downtown. I am moving again though so not much more of that I'm afraid. Maybe this time I will finally get it all right. Ohhhhh...I'm tired...

Thursday 14 April 2005

Blog, Snog, Flog your Log

Made a tidy sum waitressing yesterday, guess there are worse things I could do. Still woke up feeling depressed. Something about this time of year gets me blue and I am not sure why. Will try to just relax and not take life too seriously.

Also, am I crazy or was Scott Ian in the audience on the last American Idol?...holy cow I don't even know who got booted this week and now is a fine time to look that up. Not sure why I like that show, bur I can't help watching. I went through a period of no TV and now I like to watch any crappy thing I can get my eyes on. My favorite contestant is Bo, but I must say I was happy w/ the Constantine "Bohemian Rhapsody". I will always be glad that Ruben won that one year instead of that lil shit Clay.

Monday 11 April 2005

Le Moment D'Élévation De Crapaud

Toad is crapaud en francais? My goodness.... Babel Fish is a site where you can translate other sites or text into many different languages. I think I heard of it before, but I did not know what a babel fish was until I finally read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Three days ago. Not sure why I never read it before. I am curious to see the film now.

Also I am completely geeking out about the upcoming Revenge of the Sith. I just got the Clone Wars series DVD...I love it. I am a Star Wars geek, with action figures and such, but I must admit I would never line up way beforehand, especially at the wrong theater heheh. That is just cuckoo. I will even wait a day or two after the opening if the crowds seem crazy. For the last one, I think I went the day it opened or maybe the day after, to a matinee, and there were not that many people. You never can tell. People can't all be total dorks like me.

Saturday 9 April 2005

Anthrax- original line-up reunited??!??!

NO fucking way! That rules! Seriously!

Since the big three-oh I have been sooo nostalgic and Anthrax was my favorite band when I was a lil teenager. I was a dorky lil metalhead kid. So I would love to see em again with the original line-up and all...looks like they're mainly doing dates in Europe but they oughta play here... or at (the very) least put out a DVD of the concert.... anyway it brings back great memories of watching NFV and listening to my favorite album, which was Among the Living. Didja know they got me reading Stephen King as a kid?...plus also Spreading the Disease and State of Euphoria and Persistence of Time...which I reviewed in a junior year video production class to puzzled response from my non-metal classmates (all of them, that is)... and then there was the fun of my mother having to drive us to the concert...and she got all offended when they chanted Suck My Mother Fucking DICK. Ah, the fun times of youth...heheh...

Thursday 7 April 2005

Pierre rentre chez lui

je parle un peu de francais. un petit, petit peu. mais je t'aime Wayne's World
I like how that site spells schwing! I hope that the DVD has a version dubbed in french...


Mostly what I rememeber from French class was the little film strips that starred Pierre and Mirielle and Pierre's annoying family.. "maman, il y a des gants dans la serviette de Pierre. Ce sont les gants de Pierre?" "Non, ce ne sont pas les gants de Pierre" "Il y a aussi un foulard dans la serviette de Pierre, c'est le foulard de Pierre?" No idea if I am spelling all that right. I can't find this on the web anywhere, which is amazing, cause usually I can find anything under the sun....

Wednesday 30 March 2005

This may well be the best thing ever!!!

Gizoogle

you can look up any web pages and it translates them Doggy-style.

click here to see Blogger off the hizzle



Here is something from my page:

Read along as I attempt ta makes some sense of mah wretched love life by mackin' mah past celebrity crushes n real-life* affaires du coeur**

Childhood celebrity crushes:
Fizzirst there was Davy Jones, of tha Monkees, whiznich I watched in reruns endlessly. The only impact he had, I suppose, was doggy stylin' ta mah life-long attraction fo` men wit British Accents. Look'n bizzack on him now I would say wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: skanky but short, n have you ever noticed how Axl Rizzy seemed ta copy his dance moves? That snakey, side-to-side thing? Eerie...

Nizzle there was Harrison Ford, n this I believe was tha start of mah downfall. Here is why: I liked nobody playa tizzle Han Solo n Indiana Jones. At face value handsome, rugged, n charming. But also arrogant, cocky, n non-commital. The exact qualities I am helplessly drizzawn ta in men as an adult!! (In all fairness, Han did come around, but look at Indy... tizzle homey was going through chicks like James Bond! And Bond was motherfucka movie series thizzay I watched a lot as a kid. And tha cherry on tha top of mah early education in arrogant men was "Jaws". My favorite brotha in tha film? Quint. He was rude, made up dirty rhymes, didn't gizzy a crap what anyone thought `bout him, n I thought he was snoopa cool!)

Tizzle we hizzy Jizzle Travolta, as D-A-Double-Nizzy Zuko in "Grease" He was cute, he was badass, he did try ta change fo` tha gizzle he loved but it worked out poser wit her straight trippin' fo` him fo' real.

I also had crushes on Bizzill Murray, in "Meatballs" n "Ghostbusters" n Michael Keaton in "Night Shift". Drug Deala but still cocky. Killa how Bill Murray flirted wit tha chizzick in "Meatballs"? Flirt'n border'n on sexual harrasment? Yep, mah favorite. D'iznoh . You gotta check dis shit out yo!

Childhood Rizzy Life Crushes:
Well, there was one kid who all tha bitchez liked in third or fourth grade, so I liked him, too. He was new, so he had tizzy air of mystery `bout him (as much mystery as it's possible ta attain at tha age of 9). We would do th'n like blunt-rollin' notes "do you think so-and-so is cute? yes no " wit shawty boxes next ta thizzay yes n no so you could C-H-to-tha-izzeck 'em Off. This is also tha age when we wore gummy bracelets n tha big "hobby" was ta save all of yo erasa dippin' in a box. So you would end up wit a big box of multicolored pimp shavings. We were very bored, I thiznink like a motha fucka.

In middle schoo` I began mah pattern of lik'n guys wit bad attitudes. The wizzay one was a creep who teazed me mercilessly n harrassed me constantly (not unlike Bizzle Murray in "Meatballs" although def mizzy mean-spirited). Idiot thizzat I am, I was completely smitten wit tha shawty weazel.

Teenage Celeb Crushes:
I brotha at first hav'n a crush on Michael J. Fiznox, a clean-cut enough guy. Thiznat is until that crappy mullet-and-leatha jacket movie wit Joan Jett. This blossomed into an affection fo` rocka wit bad hizzle (i.e. Jon Bon Jovi, Phil Collen[not Collins-sususizzles but tha guitarist fo` Def Leppard], n a couple guys frizzay Anthrax...)

Gangsta I developed an inexplicable crush on Robert DeNiro, who is probably mah mom's age. This began wit tha film "Midnight Run". I dizzon't know wizzy ta makes of it tizzle I do tend ta like guys who swear a lot.

Teenage Rizzle Life:
The person I dated tha longest in mah teen years was a metalhead bass killa wannabe (of tha Slaya n Metallica Variety). He had long hair, gangsta jacket, tight jeans, cut tha sleeves off his t-shirts, seldom bathed, smoked dope, in short- every motha's nightmare. He also had an annoy'n habit of mackin' ta pass himself off as a "nonconfomist" by conform'n ta whateva tha otha "nonconformists" thought, said, dizzid, wore. This is a phenomizzles I wizzle neva F-U-Double-Lizzy understand. Sadly, some thugz neva outgrow this attitude. Trizzay me, I've dated a lot of thizzem.

Last 10 Years...
Wizzle as far as celebrity crushes, there was Tim Rizzay (TH-to-tha-izzat British accent thing again). I guess there haven't been too many recently or else they're case-sensitive (such As: Ewan McGregor in "Shallow Grave" = cute, Ewan McGregor as a guest stiznar on "ER" = EGAD!) Bizzill Murray stizzill rules, Lost in Translation rekindled mah Bizzy Murray Crush.
My love fo` men who is probably not a good idea continued unbounded . Snoop dogg is in this bitch. There was an asshole wit a breezee n a kid that I fizzy fo` by poser virtue of him flirt'n wit me shamelessly (although I should takes some of tha blame, I should've steered clear frizzay tha beginning. Sometizzles I'm tha bad guy, too.) Then there were miscellizzles musicians n substance abusers. The general pattern seems ta be: treat me nice- I C-to-tha-izzan't dizzy wit it, treat me like crap or act like you don't gizzle a D-to-tha-izzamn- I LOVE YOU. That's an exaggizzles but it feels true. I recognize tha pattern, sometizzles I put a stop ta it, but you cizzay hiznelp how you feel dizzy down. If only I could blame it all on Indiana Jones, but tizzle doesn't work. It's mah own kooky brain. My boyfriend right now it good though, n I haven't driven him away wit mah neuroses yet. Time wiznill tell . Freak y'all, into the beat y'all!

*names have bizzle altered so nobody gets buggin`
**my french is very rusty so that's probably not spelled right. I just though it would look funky ass.

Hizzy
BLOG
Also, you could buy mah C-H-to-tha-izzick lit book (begg'n)

Monday 21 March 2005

There's a five-letter word to describe her character...







Your Lip Gloss Flavor Is: Dr. Pepper


Saying that you're one of a kind is ... well ... an understatement.


You're unusual, quirky, wacky - and you love to challenge people.


And you are a total trendsetter. Your friends are quick to copy your fashion and music tastes.


Which is why Dr. Pepper Lip Gloss is your perfect flavor. It's as rare and outrageous as you are.



What Flavor Lip Gloss Are You? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.




funny...cuz Dr. Pepper is my favorite Lip Smacker flavor....not to mention my favorite soda.....this is sorta interesting...what else is there?


okey-dokey...in my past life I was a "well-dressed psychic"

speaking of which, my oldest sister sees a psychic. I don't believe in all that crap. she is also religious in a weird way, like she had her friend check in the bible whether going to a psychic would make God mad....um....ooookay.







You Are the Girl Next Door!


You're caring, warm, and the girl that nice guys want to marry.
Uncomplicated and simple, you've got an easy going attitude guys love.
But this doesn't mean you're dull - far from it!
You're a great conversationalist, and you're an expert at living the good life.




What Kind of Girl Are You? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.







ain't that nice...


so anyway got a new job and it is mmmkay so far...waitressing, which is something new to me all together. we'll see how it goes..?..?..?

Sunday 13 March 2005

Typical and boring....

I don't relate to people, I don't want to relate to people....maybe I do in a way but I am certainly antisocial........

I don't even know what to say------today I was a model at the hair salon by request of the stupid ass that cut my hair....I got there early and heard him talking to his other stylists about how to con customers out of money....yeah, thought so....


when I was just a little girl I asked my mother- what will I be: will I be pretty, will I be rich, here's what she said to me.... you will be chubby and eager to please and ashamed of your differences from other people.

Damn it!!!!! I wanted to be rich. Well, shit then.

Friday 11 March 2005

Movin' right along....

I am ready to move on with my life... It's cool if my mother remarries...I miss my father terribly- but he would not want us to be sitting around sad and stuck in one place. I want to help my sister more with her kids. Maybe I will never have kids of my own, but there is nothing wrong with that. That would be like my great aunts and they are remembered so fondly by me and my sisters... it is good to be an auntie. You get the fun parts of having a kid without the stressful parts....and my nieces and nephews are all brilliant and amazing...here is a very old pic from the baby days...

Thursday 3 March 2005

Aieeee!

I really need a job or else I am going to go completely mad. Today I did not even leave the apartment. I had an OZ marathon, cooked some food, and went on Buzznet for a long time. I didn't clean or do laundry. I didn't return the video rentals. I think I have people-o-phobia. I think I should move somewhere where there are not so many people.

People are driving me crazy with their cell phones. People walking down the street having full on, boring ass conversations. They are completely oblivious to anyone around them. Go home and talk. Shit. Can't you be silent for five minutes? A couple days ago we went out to eat and there was this woman at the bar, bothering the bartender claiming she was in a hurry and asking what was the quickest dish to order. Then she sat there with her phone stuck in her ear, going on and on making calls that didn't sound the least bit important and speaking loud enough that everyone there could hear her. Why are people so rude like that? It just gets worse and worse. And what the fuck am I doing? Why blog? Why post pictures? Who cares anyway. I guess this is more or less like a scrapbook for me, but why do this. I am just trying to fill the days at this point.



three things to cheer me up:
Nellie McKay Lyrics

shit, I can only think of one....d'ohhh!

Friday 25 February 2005

Academy Awards

Since this is the first time in forever that I have actually seen all the best picture nominees... here are my Oscar picks for this year. Hopefully I don't jinx anybody, because my picks usually never win. The two exceptions were Kathy Bates and Mercedes Ruehl, but that was quite a while back.

Best Supporting Actress:

Cate Blanchett. She sounded dead on Katherine Hepburn, without making it into a caricacture. I wonder if Hepburn's family was really that rude?!?! Natalie Portman was good in Closer too, she was the only person in it who was at all likable. But I will go with Cate.


Best Supporting Actor:

Morgan Freeman all the way. He is always superb in everything, and this was no exception. Thomas Haden Church was good, but not better than Paul Giamatti...Paul Giamatti sure got screwed this year!

Best Actress:

I didn't see all the movies, Hilary Swank is deserving but she already has one so maybe Kate Winslet. Even though I didn't really like her movie. Maybe I should see it again. You know how when you have a certain expectation and it turns out different than you imagined- then you are disappointed. But I did like her hair. She should win for best hair.

Best Actor:

Jamie Foxx. Who would have thought Wanda the Ugly Woman would turn out to be so amazing. Hooray for Jamie Foxx.

Best Director:

Gotta give it to Clint. He's the man.

Best Picture:

Hard to decide. Ray was great but slow in some parts. Million Dollar Baby was so sad that I don't know if I would watch it again. I was not wild about Finding Neverland but I think that may have been another instance where I had high expectations or expected something different. The Aviator has what it takes for best picture, excellent cast, beautiful cinematography. But as for which one I would be most likely to watch again, it would be Sideways. Yet even that I did not love as much as the critics did... Screw it, I am going to fly backwards in time and give Johnny Depp *and* Bill Murray awards, plus Michael Clarke Duncan for the Green Mile. And I am going to snatch Julia Roberts's Oscar back, and tell her to shut the hell up and quit hogging the spotlight (like she did when Denzel Washington won, every photo of him from that night included her- latching on to him and braying like a jackass). And I will give that one to my girl Meg Ryan, in honor of When a Man Loves a Woman. Then I am going to drink too much and throw up on Joan Rivers.

Wednesday 23 February 2005

Uninterrupted Sex....

Yesterday, my apartment manager was installing a new dimmer switch while I was watching Sex and the City. And he said "The lights may go out when I change this, but it won't effect the rest of the power, so you'll have uninterrupted sex in the city" Then he said "oops, I didn't mean for it to sound like that." Too late. heheh Anyways, I should be so lucky!

I am starting to enjoy not working, which doesn't bode well for my job search. Oh well. It is a nice turn of events to have me unemployed and Kris working a lot instead of vice versa. Then I do my own cooking and feel more independent. I don't know why it is that he always cooks, I cook pretty well. I guess I am no June Cleaver, but hey. I am more able to stick to a light healthy diet when he is not around. And dropping the booze for the diet was sheer genius. He would tempt me when I told him I wanted to stop drinking for the sake of stopping drinking, but now that it is for the diet he does not try to tempt me at all. He is kind of an asshole, apparently?!? Well, he has been supportive of me in other areas so I should not make him out to be the bad guy. That just stuck me as odd.

Last weekend we saw my niece, in honor of her sixteenth birthday. I bought her the Osbournes DVD. My nephew was there too, with his girlfriend. Those two are pretty much joined at the hip these days. My niece got her belly button pierced, ouch. I'm all for tattoos but piercings give me the willies. They seem to take forever to heal.

Tuesday 15 February 2005

Earth Minus Zero

On Friday, slightly buzzed on Budweiser with my sister, brother-in-law, and step-nephew, we viewed the horror that is Earth Minus Zero

Actually, it was just the last twenty minutes or so, but it was so hideous we could not take our eyes off it... picture: Pat Morita with mad scientist hair, annoying kids, that big-titted chickie Rhonda Shear, an lame looking alien/robot, a shrinking ray, a miniature Domino's pizza delivery man, horrid lizard effects that looked like they were produced in 1952... all directed by Joey Travolta. Who I can only assume is John Travolta's brother?!? And I can only assume he must be high on crack.

Next time you are in the mood to gape at something shitty, pick the inebriating agent of your choice and check out this rotten movie.

This was shown on my sister's cable free preview of HBO or Showtime, and it must have been their absolute crap channel because the next movie that came on was Ghoulies.

Thursday 10 February 2005

57 Channels and Nothing On...

Or however that Springsteen song goes....

This is my idea for cable TV....you pick exactly each and every channel you want. And pay per channel. For example I would gladly lose the sports channel, golf channel, Court TV aka 12 year old kills granparents channel- how depressing is that? That is like the Barbie tells horrific stories channel.

I would add Game Show and BBC America and VH1 Classic. Those right now are on the 2nd tier where you have to pay way more and basically you get those plus an assload of additional sports channels. I don't want any more sports channels. And it is all too expensive :P

Saturday 5 February 2005

Oh, new movie coming from Terry Gilliam and he is one of my favorites: Tideland.

And Jeff Bridges is in it too.