Me: "Well, you know how sometimes someone might not be that good-looking but then when you get to know them they become more attractive?"

He: looks at me like I'm crazy

Me: "You know... like haven't you ever thought a girl was pretty and then you got to know her and her personality was really annoying?"

He: "Well, yeah but she was still pretty... Either you're pretty or you're not."

Me: "Okay, but haven't you ever met someone who wasn't physically that attractive but then their personality was so funny and appealing they became more pretty to you?"

He: "Either you're pretty or you're not. It's like having good or bad breath. You can have a mint, but you still have bad breath."

Me: "So you're saying that a good personality is like a breath mint?"

Or something to that affect. Man, I will miss Anthony. It's like having conversations from When Harry Met Sally..

I wonder how boring I am and why it is that I do things like writing in an online journal. But the most important thing I have learned in life is "Fuck it!" If I am bored and this is kinda fun to me, then why the hell not? I have always been weird like that. When I was a little kid my favorite thing to do was talk into a tape recorder and pretend like I was making a radio show. Now I am writing and pretenting like it would be interesting to other people to read it. Oh well. No harm done.

I am alarmed at my feelings lately. Everything feels shockingly...okay. Or dare I say good? I mean I feel really comfortable right now. There is a small issue that has bugged me a little but it is to so much less of a degree than it would have been normally. Usually I obsess over something until it becomes a huge problem and now I am astonished to find in myself a desire to let things go. And not worry about stupid shit. Wow, I hope this frame of mind lasts for a while. Because it is nice.

I found out some ugly shit went down at the company I used to work for... and I was actually surprised. I didn't realize it could have gone more downhill. Hmm I almost feel empathy for those involved. I almost... nah! What goes around comes around, I guess.

Eric, are you looking at this? Eric why did you have to tell me you were going to look at this? That is highly irregular, Eric.... Daisy, Daaaaiiisy give me your answer dooo...

I have a hard time writing when someone I know says they are going to read it. Eric don't be jeaulous that I said Pollito is my favorite work friend. It's just that we take lunch together and talk a lot and after he leaves who am I gonna talk to?

Additionally a friend from back in the day may be reading this and I sure I may have said things here and there. Well you know what I think the key is what's done is done so warts and all. I was glad to be in touch again, really. I mean he is someone I care for. The side of me that has a shitty attitude is the immature side and I am trying to grow up a bit more. I was concerned when I found out he was shipped off to some other country. because being in the Air Force, but look where they sent him. That looks appealing. Shit, does Uncle Sam want me?

I'm gonna split and attempt that Yoga thing again... Oh one more thing, yesterday I thought I was going to laugh on BART. And I don't like to do that when I am by myself because then people think your nuts. But I swear to God the train operator sounded exactly like Reverend Lovejoy on "The Simpsons". Every time we stopped he would say "Richmond Train, Richmonnn-duh". Well I guess you had to be there. My other favorite train operator is Mr Dramatic Pause... he's all like "Next stop, West... ...Oakland." Everyday without fail. I think I am cracking up due to riding to much public transportation. I need a Leopard Friday. So, how 'bout it?

Ok because I really really want Geocities to work this time... I will say blah bLAH blah and give it a whirl.

Well I'll talk about something... let's see, I thought it a would good idea to purchase a workout tape since I am having a difficult time dragging my self out of the house these days. So I got this Denise Austin Yoga/Pilates combo thing. And it has 2 workouts of twenty minutes each. So of course I do the first one and think this is easy! and I get delusions of grandeur and I'm like I'll do the 2nd one, too, and repeat it every night! Well the second one was a bit, err, strenuous. And it called for the use of 2 to 5 pound dumbbells, the ones I have are 10 pounds apiece. I figured Well, these are the ones I normally use.... Duuuh! Ouch. I am sore as hell today. I am sitting here right now with a heat pack on my lower back and shoulders. I know now why they say to start off slow...

In other news I may have a blind date soon *yikes*; work has been ok; my favorite work friend, Anthony, is moving away to Florida so it will probably become very boring without him. Hope we hire some men. Funny men. Funny men who aren't already married, damnit!

On a pole in front of my office there is a flier that says " I just wanted to tell you I love you and everything is going to be all right" And every time I saw it it drove me crazy....what's it all about, Alfie? So I looked it up, it's a singer. I signed the guestbook and he wrote me a nice thank you for signing. So I figured why not link to him because he loves me and everything is going to be all right? So here you go Gabriel Scott...

Oh man what is up? I will try one last time... GGGGGGRRRRRR
Oh now I find out that it is a geocities problem
well that is frustrating
and it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November Rain

I wrote something yesterday and then I thought better of it. So then I went to delete it and now I can't get the damn thing to publish. I was just thinking that I should not be too personal on this blog, considering the address to my website goes out with every email. So this is something akin to writing a diary and then leaving it open on the dining room table.

She is too tired to fix the Dido pic.


I was attempting to add on to the story I have been writing and it all went downhill. Another sad Saturday for the Sad Saturday girl. "If they asked me, I could write a book..." I guess I am just waiting for them to ask me, eh?

It is eighty pages... I am going to start making an effort again. Go back a couple chapters and start over, maybe in a different direction. Could work.

I looked up Dido, because I get called Dido all day long at work. I didn't really see a resemblance, but i kind of do after I saw this picture: (d'oh that didn't work and I don't know why, I will fix it another time)

But I get told I look like people all the time. And it is a different person every time except for my working at Blockbuster period when I would dye my hair really dark and then several customers said I looked like Sandra Bullock. But that must have been because of the hair color, I think. I think I just have a very generic face and then people can see all sorts of different things in it. My favorite is when people say I look like Princess Leia, which has happened a couple times. Because I love Carrie Fisher. Now that I think about it there was someone who said I looked like Sandra Bullock years later when my hair was light again. I remember because he was a drummer that my former roomate had a crush on (or slept with? I forget) and she got all huffy because he was flirting with me. He was the drummer for Bif Naked, maybe that was the singer's name? Not the band name? Well I forget what his name was, in any case. And I am rambling. I am tired, but...

Can't go to sleep early, no siree, because something good will happen tonight. It's been a while, but the wait is finally over. OK all I am talking about is a new episode of "Oz", but give me a break because I am doing through a 'dull' period of my life. And I don't really watch any shows regularly, but I don't miss an episode of "Oz". And the season finale last time made be flip out, like if I was a man watching football. I get so wrapped up in that freakin' thing. If only Adebisi were still on it. I miss his little sock hat that stayed just barely perched at an awkward angle on his head. He had his own gravitational force, I guess. But I can make do with Beecher (woo-hoo), Schillinger (hissss), Sister Pete (Rita Moreno rules), Ryan O'Reilly (who I hate the most) and his brother Cyril (M-O-O-N, that spells Tom Cullen-esque), Cloutier (who knew Luke Perry had such a small...), and of course the ever whining Tim McManus, who has more relationship trouble than I do. Oh and Said, Busmalis, Pancamo... yeah, I'm a dork. Hey, why didn't HBO ever put the thing on tape like they do their other shows?

Yeah, I'm bored.

OK I am admittedly way behind the times, but I am so sick of Madonna Behind the Music with one stupid braid hanging along one side of her face, I was thinking what is the deal with her "Sex" book anyway. I mean, I have never seen it, is it like a Playboy-type of thing or what? So I figured I would look it up on the web and of course the whole damn thing is there. It's more than Playboy, it's like porno. Except it really funny because you're like ew, geez Madonna! An old man? Knife-wielding lesbians? Holy shit is that a dog? Madonna you are one gnarly, freaky, craaaaazy beeotch. That the type of thing famous people would try to prevent the publishing of. But I have to say the piece de resistance that had me ROTFLMAO is this pic with Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice! Look at the stupid expression on his face! WORD TO YOUR MOTHER!

"?"

Well, Happy New Year. Sorry no exclamation point but I am not all that enthused. I am happy the holdays have passed without anything bad happening. But otherwise... I spent the evening watching the "Sex and the City" marathon and at midnight kissed the back of my hand. Okay I didn't really kiss my hand, I kissed my cat. I am turning into an annoying Sandra Bullock character a la "While You Were Sleeping". At least it wasn't a repeat of last year:
Actually, last year was the only New Year's Eve that I ever had that was like in a movie. Big crowd counting down, drunk, swapping spit with my "love", balloons and shit falling all over the place. It was way "Poseidon Adventure" but without the disaster aspect. And instead of "Auld Lang Syne" (is that how to spell it?) they played U2 "New Year's Day". But hey, what do you expect from something called New Wave City? Now that U2 song depresses me, especially the "I will be with you again..." part. Oi well it's all a "learning" and "growing" experience, innit? One day I will look back on all this and laugh. Probably while rocking back and forth wearing a straightjacket. Is it straightjacket or straight jacket? I ask as though I will recieve an answer. Whatever it is, get it ready. I feel a full Mariah coming on.

Speaking of Mariah, and New Year's, another interesting one was spend at Blockbuster. The Albany Blockbuster that I worked at back in the day. We closed at midnight but invited favorite customers back. We had champagne and watched "Star Wars" and played "Wave Race" and I made out with this asshole who was cheating on his girlfriend with me. Which- because I was making out with him- made me an asshole, too. We were lucky that night that the store manager didn't bust our asses. But he never found out about it. It was memorable, anyway. It has something to do with Mariah Carey in a roundabout way. The asshole liked Mariah Carey. Which goes to show it doesn't matter what a guys musical taste is, be it crappy pop or hardcore punk, he will still kick ya in the chest if he gets a chance. Hoo-boy, men!

Soooo 2002. I hope that this year is a little gentler to us all.