Monday, 30 June 2008

I am drinking Martini and Rossi Asti Spumante out of a beer glass through a straw

cuz i am just that trashy. Actually I've applied a lip balm called Sexy Motherpucker that is supposed to swell your kisser up so you look like Angelina Jolie or something. It gives your mouth a weird feeling like numbness combined with someone drumming their fingertips against your mouth. It doesn't look any fuller so far, just way too shiny like saran wrap. There's 8 bucks well spent.

Anyway I am drinking the champagne to celebrate the fact that the wedding plans are mostly in order and the end of the stress is in sight. I am being all girly too, I actually bought some nail polish. Hot pink, bright orange, electric glittery blue, and black. I love the 80's.

I crack up every time I go to Target, cuz I used to work there and when I did, I would come in and people that worked there would always make eye-contact...recognizing the hideous red/khaki combo outfit. Ya go in there as a civilian and people that work there will do anything to avoid making eye contact with you, lest you are about to ask them a question or something. This worked out well today, cuz I didn't bother with any makeup and looked rather broken out and ruddy. Besides, there are only a very small group of peeps at that target that I liked...the Stockton target crew was much nicer.

I am so happy I had an extra day off this week, I like just goofing off whenever I can.

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Like a kiddie scissors class cut it up for a paper doll

I ruined one of my favorite dresses last week at the laundromat. I hate their stupid industrial strength machines. Tore it apart. Blah.

In other complaints, I sunburned my scalp.

It was at my nephew-in-laws graduation. videoIT was fun though, and I spent an inordinate amount of time holding a baby. I am not the kind of person that is all "oh can i hold the baby?" to everyone...but my brother in law's friend set him on the ground (i dunno how old he was, but just old enough to stand up while holding on for support) on top of the playground-covering pieces of bark. And he was looking at them with an eye like he was about to eat them. And I ran up to him just as he was about to put a cigar-band-i-shit-you-not in his mouth. So I said "awwww could i hold the baby?" and carried the lil bugger around. He was pretty happy and friendly though.

So that's it from here.

Also, RIP Cyd Charissesuch an elegant lady...

Sunday, 8 June 2008

Albany Twin Theater

Ben's former co-worker Andy made this...I found it on the Albany Twin's myspace...so funny and Ben is even in it.


Saturday, 7 June 2008

I Bled Chocolate!



I am super restless today...I am on my lunch break but it is about to end. I am tired of talking about chocolate. I am also tired of trying to stretch my tour out longer cuz it never works. If people are all interested and asking questions and stuff it's cool...but when people come in and see the chairs and realize that they are going to be listening to a lecture before they see any machines...and you see them looking like "oh man.." that bites, and then I can't stretch the tour out any longer than normal. This lady was actually falling asleep today. I feel like it's my punishment for falling asleep in churches.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

When life hands you lemons, just say "fuck these lemons" and bail!



That was the best quote in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I just saw it last night with Kel at the Cerrito. Good theater: pizza and beer. What more do you need. I am trying to be more of a girl having girls night out etc...this is hard. Men are easier to talk to than women. I don't have kids, I don't plan on having kids, I am excited about the party aspect of the wedding but I hate trying to sort out the details. I am sick of people asking me about it because no one seems to relate to my opinion on it. People want to help but then act surprised by how little money I am willing to fork over on this. I don't have a theme. I don't wear sparkly diamonds and i fucking love this ring Ben got me...diamondless and beautiful. If i want something sparkly I can always wear my great aunties old rings...and they are too fancy to me for everyday wear. So don't look down your nose at me for that. I am having fake flowers because who needs the pain in the ass of a florist. This wedding planning shit is by far the most feminine thing I have ever had to do (except for tampons but that goes without saying). I've got to get favors together....I have to register...that isn't so fun. We already have plates and stuff and i am that weird kind of person that gets sentimentally attached to inanimate objects and doesn't want to throw anything away until it's beyond repair. So there is nothing to register for except expensive shit no one would buy. Can I register somewhere to have people pay towards our bills? Or more specifically mine, cuz I am a danger with a credit card boy I'll tell ya.

I have some faux-floral centerpiece things from Jean and they are too white. So right now i am trying to think of a way to incorporate bright colors and leopard print.

Tuesday, 3 June 2008

Money is the God of our country


1) Are you wearing a necklace?
no

2) Do you like someone right now?
many people


3) Who is the main person(s) you talk to at work?
asshole customers hahh no Albert and Stacie Robin or Larry


4) Ever been to Vegas?
yes once with Cora and her family and once with my family, to see Van Halen..


5) Did you know that May 16th is National Piercing Day?
my how fascinating

6) How did you do on your last test?
'twas a pregnancy test and i passed (NOT PREGNANT!)

7) What song are you listening to?
no song we are discussing overtime in sports and when I went to see the Sharks in 1995 IRBE IRBE

8) What was the last mall you went to and when?
if bay street counts to see sex and the city with my sister (Cory that posted the survey on myspace had the same answer as me)

9) Buy anything?
3 dollar earrings

10) Do you have any older siblings?
yes

11) What is the last thing you ate?
a cookie

12) Who was the last person to come over to your house?
Lisa came in to see it on Friday

13) Who was the last person to call you?
Ena

14) Who was the last person who texted you?
an advertiser

15) Do you hold grudges?
no and people need to stop doing that shit cuz they are only tormenting themselves...suck a dick

16) What should you be doing?
registering

17) Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
your mother

18) Did you go out to eat yesterday?
got some KFC to go, bad idea :P

19) What are you thinking about right now?
SSDD

20) What color are your shorts?
blue

22) What do you feel like eating/drinking?
Indian Food/beer


23) Are you in college?
no

24) What is the last message you wrote?
are you talking about fucking text messages again?

25) Are you bored?
nah i am overstimulated

26) How many teeth do you have?
enough to chew

27) Ever had a cast for a broken bone?
no

29) What color are your shoes?
i am barefoot

30) Favorite pen color?
black sharpie

31) Last thing you drank?
PBR

32) Favorite card game?
Oh Hell

33) Who do you love?
my family

34) Do you yahoooooooo?
yeah for unladenswallowproductions.com

35) What are you doing right now?
listening to Ben mock Rob Zombie

36) Favorite cookie?
chocolate chip

37) Do you know how to spell bananas?
this shit is bananas

38) What're the last words you said?
i'm trying to brush up on my improvisational skills

39) Do you have clothes on?
yes

40) Do you have boxers on?
nope

41) Do you like llamas?
Yes especially the ones that directed Monty Python and the Holy Grail


42) Do you have a cut on your pointer finger?
no
i have a cut on my thumb


43) Where is your cell phone?
in my purse i think

44) Do you have any friends named Skylar?
no but I love a Globetrotter called Meadowlark and that nearly rhymes...wait no it's doesn't

46) Do you have any friends named Alex?
Mr Vance

47) Are you afraid of the dark?
nope the darker the better, i am afraid of the semi-light where that sweatshirt on the chair looks like a dismembered arm.

48) Did you used to watch "Are you afraid of the dark"?
no but i just read that question a second ago and thought wasn't that a tv show once


49) Does your computer have a mouse?
it does indeed



50)When's the last time you had a birthday cake? may 25th at the park