Saturday 28 May 2005

Hoo boy!

This day sucks a bit. I wanna go back home to SF waaaah! But I know what I gotta do. I know I gotta get back on track in life, oh how I do. But it is easier to avoid it. Oh well. Nothing like going from having your own apartment to having to share a house. Right now only me and my niece are home. And her new boyfriend. And how fucking awkward is that. I didn't sign up to be the one that keeps an eye on teenagers. She and my nephew are a lot different than they were as little kids. I swear as soon as I have medical insurance again I am getting my tubes tied. I have no patience for this shit. Sorry for being bitchy and boring but it is one of THOSE DAYS. The best thing about THOSE DAYS is that eventually they do end and then things may be pretty much okey-doke again. They sure drag on though, don't they?

Tuesday 10 May 2005

Do Hey Fucky

I am sitting here drinking a large can of Foster's (is there any other size heheh) and trying to sort out how in the hell I have amassed such a large collection of crap....tons of books, cds, movies...and worse...tons of photo albums. Not that photo albums are bad, but I have more than my mother does and she is twice my age. And I have too many clotes...that I may well never wear again but just might so I feel like keeping em. I am getting rid of lots of office attire though, cause if I ever have to work in an office again I will vomit. Plus I have tons of old papers that I cannot seem to throw out, and old letters and things that make me smile or scratch my head in puzzlement when I read them...for example this note from my best high school friend Cora.

1990

Dear Jamie (aka Butt Nugget)



What’s up? Do you know what it says on my desk… “I gave you my purity you stole. Did you think I wouldn’t recognize this compromise, am I too fucking stupid to realize.” Don’t ask me what that means. It also says (on my desk)…Testies David…Allen has no dick….I love Allen…SEXGOD…Bibi…Do Hey Fucky…and that’s about it. I don’t know why I am sitting here reading the desk. I am bored, I guess.

Love your Cuz, Sphincter Woman


Do Hey Fucky is my favorite part...cuz WTF does that mean. I just posted the same letter on Buzznet but oh well, it bears repeating, at least in my mind it does.

And here I am once again avoiding packing by goofing off on the computer...but there is something so gross about moving. Anyway. I am moving in with my sister whom I have not lived with since I was nine and she got married. She is now divorced and I will be living with her and her teenage daughter. I am actually looking forward to it, and grateful for the opportunity as it will mean less rent and I can go back to school.

Whenever I drink Foster's, I am reminded of joke about how compared to Australian beer, American beer is a bit like making love in a canoe. Cause it's fucking close to water.

Friday 6 May 2005

May the Force be with you, always...



my silly rendition of a Return of the Jedi coloring book page...in honor of all the star wars bloggers.... Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, and Boba Fett. Made me laugh during a shitty time, so thanks!

And in a fit of Jedi/Sith mania, I resurrected my beloved Yoda Mahir

Okay, so...I'm a total dork.

Thursday 5 May 2005

FOUND

Didn't know what to get Ma for Mudder's Day so went fruitlessly searching for something to catch my eye...nothing. Decided to get her a book... she likes celeb autobio's so got her Goldie Hawn A Lotus in the Mud or some such blah blah, and Kirstie Alley how to lose your ass. Then I got the book Found...as in Found Magazine...intriguing. And I have some weird stuff I found that I could send...a weird poem one of my former neighbors wrote. And I just tossed a bunch of other stuff..well, maybe someone else will find it. It's odd, so many people have similar handwriting and there are a few items in there were the writing is dead on like someone that I knew or know currently.

Yesterday, while cutting asparagus I sliced the living crap out of my fingertip and man did that hurt like a mofo. It bled forever. Then in the night the band-aid was falling off so I went to change it and when I looked at it again I got dizzy and started to faint like a lil sissy. So I grabbed the band-aid and laid down on the bed to put it on, because you can't faint when you are lying down apparently. So long as you lie down before you actually faint, cause either way you pretty much end up in a horizontal position don't ya. Don't ask me, I'm rambling on and it is a bit hard to type without using the bandaged finger.

Wednesday 4 May 2005

Don't Panic

We saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy today. I really enjoyed it, apart from the depressing fact of going to the movies with my soon to be ex boyfriend that I am moving away from. We want to stay friends, but that never really works, does it? I mean I have one other ex that I talk to every now and again and like as a friend, but it is not as though we are super close and hang out together. It's a bummer. I have been told by several people that I am doing the right thing, I sure hope that is true. Anyway. I sound like Marvin the android from the film today. Sam Rockwell was the best in it. It could have used more goofy lines from the books, and indeed it skipped over a great many things, but I suppose you can't have everything crammed into under 2 hours, now can ya?

I am mailing something to some "writing school" that is probably shady, but I just want to see what they say. It was something I wrote long ago for that site that was called WrittenByMe.com and since I bothered to retype it I posted it here under the date I wrote it...so here it is, a true story about me, and the clue to what it is about is When You're Sliding Into First and You're Feeling Something Burst.
When you're sliding into third and you lay a juicy turd was always my favorite line of that particular song. Cause I am sick.