Saturday 19 August 2006

That Motherfucking Movie

I really want to see Snakes on a Plane, not because of the hype, well maybe because of the hype....but mostly because I love Samuel L Jackson.

If it blows in a bad-bad way...can I recommend a substitute for you to rent? I can?!?!? Hey, thanks! The Long Kiss Goodnight. Over-the-top-goofball-suspend-your disbelief-action, and hilariously-funny-super-quotable screenplay. One of my all-time favorites.

Friday 18 August 2006

on a more serious note...

I read an article that really moved me this week, about young girls being sold into prostitution. Some were abducted from their homes, and some were sold in to slavery by THEIR OWN PARENTS, which I cannot fathom. Somaly Mam, who lived in Cambodia and was sold into slavery by her parents when she was a small child, has taken this horrible experience and allowed it to strengthen her... she had founded an organization dedicated to helping girls get out of this tragic situation... her site can be found here. Sadly, in retaliation for her efforts, her own daughter was kidnapped and brutally raped. Her resilience through it all is an inspiration.

The article was written by Mariane Pearl, wife of slain journalist Daniel Pearl.

It's a frightening world.

and i do find odd to read this article sandwiched between "if a man doesn't want to cuddle after sex, does it mean he is not that into you?" and "superstar hair special!"...but i do commend Glamour magazine for at least attempting some serious journalism along with the fluff..they are not quite up to Marie Claire or Jane but light-years ahead of Cosmo....

Tuesday 15 August 2006

oh for fuck's sake

*note to casual reader: this is mainly complaining about work so you are totally excused if you would rather look at something else. go on, go! plus, it is poorly punctuated and i can't bring myself to capitalize the beginning of every sentence

*note to self: is there a casual reader out there,
anyway?

*note to reader again: this might improve at the end

i tell ya, just when i was saying i will really miss my job if i move...we get some dumbass new manager and lame new way of running the photo lab. this manager, i swear she is straight out of business college with her "how can we be proactive about this" and "let me see if i am hearing you right" ...fuck that shit, i cannot stand that bs babble...she has been there for 3 days and has managed to alienate just about everybody...to top it off she is younger than me (and i know it is shitty of me, just because i am not ambitious or career driven at all so i am in a low postition) but i can't take direction from some person that is younger than me and idealistic in an annoyingly phoney happy way. even Nick, whos is much more kind and patient with people than i am, had to laugh when i said "looks like the new manager is going to be a big improvement". Then, for the photo lab, they are installing a new system that basically tracks how fast we get everything done, and this is fucking stupid because: we don't even get all that many customers, it makes something that would only take about a minute require five additional steps, and it measures the time it takes to do things that we don't really have that much control over FOR EXAMPLE...packaging an order...if i am cutting negatives to fit in a sleeve and some person comes up to pick up their order....i would stop what i was doing and wait on them first, because that is good customer service...but with the new system it would just look like i was lagging or goofing off...i've said it before and i will say it again FUCK THAT. this job was much less corporate than many other jobs i have had, but they sure screwed that up in two shakes.

DREAMS THAT I HAD since i posted here last:

i was in my childhood home, and all the lightbulbs kept burning out

i was in a fight with my mother, and i found out she kept a blog...so i snuck a peek at it and all of her entries where about working in a beauty parlor, which she doesn't

i was the camera man on a movie, and the actor had his back to the camera, his shirt was inside-out and he had a tag on the collar that was showing the whole time... so i started yelling at people and saying "what is this? a goddamn fruit of the loom commercial?!??!"

i was in college with an important paper due right away and i didn't write it or pay any attention to the class

and now, Part 3: Cosmopolitan

every so often i buy some lame girl magazines just to let me know that i am not as lame a girl as i could be...okay i always read Jane but Jane is smart and funny...and Marie Claire fits in some good information on serious issues along with all the fluff....but Cosmopolitan, dear God, Cosmopolitan recycles the same dumb crap it's been publishing since i was a kid and i used to sneak a look at my sister's copy....

so allow me to quote some of the dumbest crap for you if you have hung in this long (if you have hung in this long, you deserve better than this, but it is all i have to offer i assure you):

Cosmo on "massages tame enough to try on him poolside or at the beach":
"THE THIGH PLEASER: Kneel between his legs, and walk your fingers from his knee, up the inner thigh, toward his package. Before you reach the promised land, stop and lightly draw your fingertips back down the inside. 'The thin skin makes it sensitive to the touch' says Patti Britton, PhD, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage. 'Plus, the fact that you are so close to his privates in public gives him a rush'."


okay, number one- doing that in public may well be enough to prompt a complete stranger to give you $20 to "get a room"
number two- "package" and "promised land" are two of the all-time stupidest ways to say "cock"
number three- I wonder how many PhD's in the world are called Patti
number four- I totally want to write a book called Chicken Soup for the Complete Idiot

Cosmo on how to "drive him wild with words":
"Tell him what's worth seeing. Men are visual creatures, so ignite that part of his brain by using decriptive words that conjure up sexy images. For example, when you tell a story, plug in a detail about your physical self: 'My hamstrings are sore from doing downward dog last night at yoga'."

oh yeah that is great conversation right there...

Cosmo on "10 things to crave right now":
"the YSL Muse Bag, $1,995"

like i really want a purse that is worth more than my bank account

'kay that's enough, but you get the picture....

for fucks sake!

Wednesday 9 August 2006

I'm a pro at procrastinating....

I put the "pro" in procrastination, baybeee. I gotta vacuum and pick up all the cd's and junk that i keep tripping over...and figure out what I am bringing to SF....SF whooooohoooooey...I am looking forward to this weekend sooooo much.

At least I am getting laundry done...there is another annoying thing about the roomate... he did a crapload of laundry the other day and clearly never emptied the lint trap. You could knit a fuckin' sweater with his laundry remnants. As it stands now, he is moving out at the end of August... Lis is still trying to sell the house but no luck so far so I think I will still have a few months to figure out what I'm going to do. And you know what that means....Freedom to Procrastinate!!

AND NOW A MESSAGE TO PEOPLE WHO WRITE CHECKS:
Don't!! I think since the advent of the check card (debit card with Visa logo or whatever) and the fact that most places take regular atm cards anyway....checks should be for mailing, only....or if you simply must use one... pre-fill-in everything on it except the total while you are waiting in line...that way, people behind you won't have to wait in line forever and a day since you didn't even pull your checkbook out of your purse til the last possible second because you were so busy staring at the cash register just to make sure you didn't get overcharged on your York Peppermint Patties you annoying old biddy. There. I feel much better now.


AND NOW A WORD FROM WILLIE NELSON:

I've got a long list of real good reasons
For all the things I've done
I've got a picture in the back of my mind
Of what I've lost and what I've won
I've survived every situation
Knowing when to freeze and when to run
And regret is just a memory written on my brow
And there's nothing I can do about it now.

I've got a wild and a restless spirit
I held my price through every deal
I've seen the fire of a woman's scorned
Turn her heart of gold to steal
I've got the song of the voice inside me
Set to the rhythm of the wheel
And I've been dreaming like a child
Since the cradle broke the bow
And there's nothing I can do about it now.

Running through the changes
Going through the stages
Coming round the corners in my life
Leaving doubt to fate
Staying out too late
Waiting for the moon to say goodniight
And I could cry for the time I've wasted
But that's a waste of time and tears,
And I know just what I'd change
If went back in time somehow
But there's nothing I can do about it now

I'm forgiving everything that forgiveness will allow
And there's nothing I can do about it now