Friday, 25 February 2005

Academy Awards

Since this is the first time in forever that I have actually seen all the best picture nominees... here are my Oscar picks for this year. Hopefully I don't jinx anybody, because my picks usually never win. The two exceptions were Kathy Bates and Mercedes Ruehl, but that was quite a while back.

Best Supporting Actress:

Cate Blanchett. She sounded dead on Katherine Hepburn, without making it into a caricacture. I wonder if Hepburn's family was really that rude?!?! Natalie Portman was good in Closer too, she was the only person in it who was at all likable. But I will go with Cate.

Best Supporting Actor:

Morgan Freeman all the way. He is always superb in everything, and this was no exception. Thomas Haden Church was good, but not better than Paul Giamatti...Paul Giamatti sure got screwed this year!

Best Actress:

I didn't see all the movies, Hilary Swank is deserving but she already has one so maybe Kate Winslet. Even though I didn't really like her movie. Maybe I should see it again. You know how when you have a certain expectation and it turns out different than you imagined- then you are disappointed. But I did like her hair. She should win for best hair.

Best Actor:

Jamie Foxx. Who would have thought Wanda the Ugly Woman would turn out to be so amazing. Hooray for Jamie Foxx.

Best Director:

Gotta give it to Clint. He's the man.

Best Picture:

Hard to decide. Ray was great but slow in some parts. Million Dollar Baby was so sad that I don't know if I would watch it again. I was not wild about Finding Neverland but I think that may have been another instance where I had high expectations or expected something different. The Aviator has what it takes for best picture, excellent cast, beautiful cinematography. But as for which one I would be most likely to watch again, it would be Sideways. Yet even that I did not love as much as the critics did... Screw it, I am going to fly backwards in time and give Johnny Depp *and* Bill Murray awards, plus Michael Clarke Duncan for the Green Mile. And I am going to snatch Julia Roberts's Oscar back, and tell her to shut the hell up and quit hogging the spotlight (like she did when Denzel Washington won, every photo of him from that night included her- latching on to him and braying like a jackass). And I will give that one to my girl Meg Ryan, in honor of When a Man Loves a Woman. Then I am going to drink too much and throw up on Joan Rivers.

Wednesday, 23 February 2005

Uninterrupted Sex....

Yesterday, my apartment manager was installing a new dimmer switch while I was watching Sex and the City. And he said "The lights may go out when I change this, but it won't effect the rest of the power, so you'll have uninterrupted sex in the city" Then he said "oops, I didn't mean for it to sound like that." Too late. heheh Anyways, I should be so lucky!

I am starting to enjoy not working, which doesn't bode well for my job search. Oh well. It is a nice turn of events to have me unemployed and Kris working a lot instead of vice versa. Then I do my own cooking and feel more independent. I don't know why it is that he always cooks, I cook pretty well. I guess I am no June Cleaver, but hey. I am more able to stick to a light healthy diet when he is not around. And dropping the booze for the diet was sheer genius. He would tempt me when I told him I wanted to stop drinking for the sake of stopping drinking, but now that it is for the diet he does not try to tempt me at all. He is kind of an asshole, apparently?!? Well, he has been supportive of me in other areas so I should not make him out to be the bad guy. That just stuck me as odd.

Last weekend we saw my niece, in honor of her sixteenth birthday. I bought her the Osbournes DVD. My nephew was there too, with his girlfriend. Those two are pretty much joined at the hip these days. My niece got her belly button pierced, ouch. I'm all for tattoos but piercings give me the willies. They seem to take forever to heal.

Tuesday, 15 February 2005

Earth Minus Zero

On Friday, slightly buzzed on Budweiser with my sister, brother-in-law, and step-nephew, we viewed the horror that is Earth Minus Zero

Actually, it was just the last twenty minutes or so, but it was so hideous we could not take our eyes off it... picture: Pat Morita with mad scientist hair, annoying kids, that big-titted chickie Rhonda Shear, an lame looking alien/robot, a shrinking ray, a miniature Domino's pizza delivery man, horrid lizard effects that looked like they were produced in 1952... all directed by Joey Travolta. Who I can only assume is John Travolta's brother?!? And I can only assume he must be high on crack.

Next time you are in the mood to gape at something shitty, pick the inebriating agent of your choice and check out this rotten movie.

This was shown on my sister's cable free preview of HBO or Showtime, and it must have been their absolute crap channel because the next movie that came on was Ghoulies.

Thursday, 10 February 2005

57 Channels and Nothing On...

Or however that Springsteen song goes....

This is my idea for cable pick exactly each and every channel you want. And pay per channel. For example I would gladly lose the sports channel, golf channel, Court TV aka 12 year old kills granparents channel- how depressing is that? That is like the Barbie tells horrific stories channel.

I would add Game Show and BBC America and VH1 Classic. Those right now are on the 2nd tier where you have to pay way more and basically you get those plus an assload of additional sports channels. I don't want any more sports channels. And it is all too expensive :P

Saturday, 5 February 2005

Oh, new movie coming from Terry Gilliam and he is one of my favorites: Tideland.

And Jeff Bridges is in it too.

Rant and raves

To hell with low carbs, no carbs, and skinny bordering on anorexic....Us ladies need to keep a little meat on our bones, let's start a movement..... lets keep our booties in motion and shake it like a polaroid picture...
Be proud to be shapely!!

I read something in Savage Love the other day that almost made me puke...about how it was normal for men to fantasize about post pubescent teenage girls (thus the abundance of "Barely Legal" boyfriend even said Lindsay Lohan was pretty and he is way older than me and I am thirty! Spew!!!) What is the deal with men! Ugh. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. But unfortunately I am not. And what's worse is I like men very much. Anyway, on behalf of myself, thinking of my teen niece, and all anorexics and bulimics and any woman or girl who doesn't feel as beautiful as she should: PISS OFF YOU BARELY LEGAL-READING, WANKING MEN!!!!

Women in Hollywood: EAT SOMETHING GODDAMN IT!!

Phew,that being off my chest, and continuing in an entirely different vein, I need to give mad props to any song that celebrates the joys of a shapely butt. Regardless of how silly, cheesy and/or sexist they may here is my tribute to the most bootyful songs I know:

Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-lot
His "anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon."

Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen
"You make the rockin' world go round."

Rump Shaker by Wrecks in Effect (I think it is spelled funny but I forget how)
A simple sentiment, eloquently put: "All I wanna do is zooma zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom"

Big Bottom by Spinal Tap
"I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day."

You Can Do It by Ice Cube
This song is fairly alarming with n-words flying about, and thus a bit odd for a white girl like me to sing along to, but it also contains the immortal lyric:
"Mama move them hips, baby shake them cheeks, I got dick for days, you got ass for weeks"

Da Butt by...who sang this??? it's from School Daze
"When you get the notion, put your backfield in motion" We used to dance to it in seventh grade, picture us shaking our skinny seventh grade butts (on second thought, don't, if you're a man...) We would stand on top of the cafeteria benches (the cafeteria doubled as the gym and the gym was where the dances were held) and the benches would slide dangerously back and forth because they were on rollers. The best part is the shout outs at the end "Tanya got a big ol butt, oh yeah" and we would insert our friends names.

Thong Song by Sisqo
I love how it is basically the same lyrics over and over then it builds to a dramatic cresendo and it is still the same lyric. And I still can't figure out how "dumps like a truck" could be taken as complementary.

Da Dip by Freak Nasty
This is nasty! But so catchy isn't it? My favorite line is the beginning when he says "this goes out to all the women in the world, especially her". The bootymost line is "round and round that rumps goes, where it stops, no one knows".

Bootylicious by Destiny's Child
"I don't think you're ready for this jelly" to me jelly is right up there with dumps like a truck in terms of a questionably gross description? But then that is just me.

Friday, 4 February 2005

Roller Coaster Cry

Mmm these cookies are very good! Take it from a girl in her menstrual cycle, if you want yum yum chocolate chip cookies then look no further!

Signed up for cable TV, which is probably a big mistake as it will just make me lazier than I am already. Plus Kris and I won't be interested in many of the same shows. When I am at my mother's or something, I find myself watching lame stuff that I would be embarrassed to admit to watching. Like The Surreal Life, Strange Love, and Celebrity Fit Club. There, I admitted it. And admitting is half the battle, or something. Damn you VH1! Plus I sit there watching that crazy I Love the 80s/90s crap. Who are some of those people? Sometimes they show a person you know and other times it is someone you've never heard of. One time I saw some chick on a show and her credit was "Pop Culture Expert" uh hello? Is that a career, if so sign me up!!!

Thursday, 3 February 2005

also, I think I am avoiding looking into work and school. d'oh! i better get back on track!

Kris had me depressed, saying he felt like he was holding me back from finding someone to settle down and have kids with. The thing is, I really do want kids but I feel like I would be a terrible mother. I think I am too immature myself. And of course I would not want to have kids unless I was in a stable career and felt like I could support at family. I pick terrible men to be in love with. Either selfish, or like Kris, struggling and kind and good to me but doesn't want what I want in the end. At least he respects me and doesn't make fun of my taste in music or think me less of a person for being lazy or watching TV just to get my mind off things. I am too weird to settle down with a regular guy. I have tried, Lord how I've tried. I had a boyfriend at 18 that would have done anything, moved anywhere, probably would have worked while I stayed at home with the kids. But I wasn't ready. And also, when anyone is too nice it freaks me out. I can't stand being catered to. I need someone with an opinion of their own, but who can respect and not belittle my opinion. Usually I am happiest when I am single. But I hate to think of losing Kris. I feel like I never move forward in life. I can be doing okay for a little while then I am back to square one with what the fuck am I doing and feeling worthless. I don't keep any friends. I am terrible about staying in touch. Every group of friends I've had has been just for a period of time and then it fades away. WHY AM I WRITING ALL THIS?

Minka: Miss Congeniality

Wow, I was doing this goofy thing called Catster. And I put Minka on it, and boy did she get a lot of complementary emails. Holy cow. This is a goofy thing but it managed to kill a lot of time today and anything that kills time is fine and dandy with me I tell ya. Here are some quotes about Minka:
"Minka, you are stunning! Our Mommy's grandmother once had a persian
kitty named Minka but she was pretty evil. I'm sure you're wonderful!
Please be friends with us? :)"

"You are gorgeous Minka. I love your pictures."

"Aloha! Your eyes are simply GORGEOUS! Wanna be purr pals?

"Minka is such a beautiful kitty!"

"what a pretty kitty"

At least one of us has friends heheh. Actually I do I just am terrible at keeping in touch. Like I was supposed to call Lis this week and it is already Thursday. I guess what it boils down to is I am anti-social as hell. But enough about me, here is a Minka Pic and link to her Catster page

I think all this should officially confirm that I have no life. Then again, I guess most people don't really. We just take what we can get. Have fun no matter what, even if it is websurfing or listening to oldies (right now I am doing both). You know what I am desperate for? Hee Haw on DVD. But it is $100. Yikes! I need to win the lottery or something. I am rambling again. Somebody stop me!

Wednesday, 2 February 2005

Same shit different day....

I spent the entire morning online trying to apply for financial aid and apply to the college I want to go to, but I would be a returning student and I am really confused and don't want to blow what little money I have on applying if I am not going to get accepted to transfer back?!?!?? I talked to a counselor yesterday and he was rushing and he only really suceeded in making me more confused. He kept using finger quotes and saying "unofficially" and "I have to be honest" and made is sound like I was about to get involved in a crimal interprise instead of going back to school. So all in all I am at a complete loss as to what to do!

Kris started his job today, bartending, I hope it is all going well and he gets more and more shifts. Sometimes I want to be June Cleaver and clean up about the house while wearing elegant dresses and have kids and not work at all cuz these days the less I am around people the better. Has there ever been a job that didn't suck in one way or another? I guess I will go back to school. I really yearn to be a mother, but without money and a stable home I can't do that. And I am not sure that I can bring a baby into such a crazy world that seems to be becoming more fucked up by the day. My God. People are nuts. People cheering on Michael Jackson outside court for a child molestation trial. I am mostly sick of California and it's needlessly overpaid celebrities, we even have a celebrity governor for crying out loud. And it's remainder hippie burnouts. And it is too crowded to breathe. I want to move to another state.