Saturday, 5 February 2005

Rant and raves

To hell with low carbs, no carbs, and skinny bordering on anorexic....Us ladies need to keep a little meat on our bones, let's start a movement..... lets keep our booties in motion and shake it like a polaroid picture...
Be proud to be shapely!!

I read something in Savage Love the other day that almost made me puke...about how it was normal for men to fantasize about post pubescent teenage girls (thus the abundance of "Barely Legal" boyfriend even said Lindsay Lohan was pretty and he is way older than me and I am thirty! Spew!!!) What is the deal with men! Ugh. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. But unfortunately I am not. And what's worse is I like men very much. Anyway, on behalf of myself, thinking of my teen niece, and all anorexics and bulimics and any woman or girl who doesn't feel as beautiful as she should: PISS OFF YOU BARELY LEGAL-READING, WANKING MEN!!!!

Women in Hollywood: EAT SOMETHING GODDAMN IT!!

Phew,that being off my chest, and continuing in an entirely different vein, I need to give mad props to any song that celebrates the joys of a shapely butt. Regardless of how silly, cheesy and/or sexist they may here is my tribute to the most bootyful songs I know:

Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-lot
His "anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon."

Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen
"You make the rockin' world go round."

Rump Shaker by Wrecks in Effect (I think it is spelled funny but I forget how)
A simple sentiment, eloquently put: "All I wanna do is zooma zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom"

Big Bottom by Spinal Tap
"I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day."

You Can Do It by Ice Cube
This song is fairly alarming with n-words flying about, and thus a bit odd for a white girl like me to sing along to, but it also contains the immortal lyric:
"Mama move them hips, baby shake them cheeks, I got dick for days, you got ass for weeks"

Da Butt by...who sang this??? it's from School Daze
"When you get the notion, put your backfield in motion" We used to dance to it in seventh grade, picture us shaking our skinny seventh grade butts (on second thought, don't, if you're a man...) We would stand on top of the cafeteria benches (the cafeteria doubled as the gym and the gym was where the dances were held) and the benches would slide dangerously back and forth because they were on rollers. The best part is the shout outs at the end "Tanya got a big ol butt, oh yeah" and we would insert our friends names.

Thong Song by Sisqo
I love how it is basically the same lyrics over and over then it builds to a dramatic cresendo and it is still the same lyric. And I still can't figure out how "dumps like a truck" could be taken as complementary.

Da Dip by Freak Nasty
This is nasty! But so catchy isn't it? My favorite line is the beginning when he says "this goes out to all the women in the world, especially her". The bootymost line is "round and round that rumps goes, where it stops, no one knows".

Bootylicious by Destiny's Child
"I don't think you're ready for this jelly" to me jelly is right up there with dumps like a truck in terms of a questionably gross description? But then that is just me.

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