Thursday, 27 December 2001



I miss you, Dad. I love you.

Wednesday, 19 December 2001

Hmm ok so anyway... the week is a little stressful apart from the normal holiday miss my father aspect of it. It started on Saturday when I went out with my friend who wants to be more than just friends to a movie. And then to see Lee Rocker, former Stray Cat(s), at the Ivy Room. And I had fun and it was cool. And then he got out of the car with an attitude and I wasn't sure why. So I called the next day and he was like "well I think I need to disappear for a while" because he likes me romantically and I "don't see how good (he's) treating (me)" and it is painful to him he says. He was my good friend and the only problem is I don't want to sleep with him. And it looks like that is all he wants. Well isn't that nice. So I could not deal with that conversation for the thousandth time, not this fucking month, so I hung up on him. And turned off the ringer. And I don't know much except you can't force yourself to feel something you don't feel no matter how "nice" a person treats you. And maybe that is being a bitch but at least it is being honest.

Then at work ... well Ana doesn't work there anymore. Which just sucks. I love Ana and it will not be the same without her. OK I don't even want to be detailed because Eric, my boss, told me the other day that he had been reading this. Which is kinda weird in a way... so Eric if you wanted any juicy details, you won't find them here, sorry man. But the strange thing was that today was otherwise a very fun day because everybody woke up on the silly side of the bed, or something... and we have the Xmas party Friday... but I can't help feeling weird because of Ana. But what can ya do, eh? Me, not much. OK gotta go because I want to find the definition of iconoclast. Because I was called an iconoclast... by my therapist, mind you, so it can't be an insult. The way she described it was really cool, actually.

A final note: was it Dante or perhaps Jan Brady that defined Hell as proximity without intimacy? It does ring true, though, doesn't it?
OK last time I tried this there was a problem and I lost a whole bunch of stuf I typed so let's just see...

Friday, 14 December 2001

shit guess so... well I will try again tomorrow
oh what the hell, man my computer is tripping did I just type all that for nothing?

Wednesday, 12 December 2001

The other day I saw "Little Nicky", Adam Sandler's latest, and I thought man that is the stupidest piece of crap I have seen in a long time. But now... there is some fuckin' thing on called "Don't Tell Her It's Me" with *gag* Steve Guttenberg and *blech* Jami Gertz. Oh man, it's got Nicky beat hands down. Guttenberg is a recovering cancer patient with crazy prosthetic makeup (no hair) and his sister or somethin' (Shelley Long, regretting leaving "Cheers" at this point, no doubt) is trying to fix him up with Gertz who took one look at him and was like "ooh uh-uh". So then they are trying to make him over so he looks like some kind of stud. And what's the first thing they do? Give him a freakin' mullet, the likes of which haven't been seen since Billy Ray Cyrus (actually this was like 1990 so maybe it's where he got the achy breaky idea). Just beautiful... This film makes me long for the sublime wit of "Short Circuit". And I almost mean that sincerely...

Thursday, 6 December 2001

Holy crap... LOL someone told me to look up Melanie Griffith I don't know but that is pretty kooky.

Tuesday, 4 December 2001

By the way oh ma ga what am I like fifteen years old? Cute... guy...swoon...YEEEECH
Monday I was walking to work and I thought hmm... my skirt feels funny, like it's slipping... suddenly it was around my ankles. Luckily I was across the street from the corner where my work is and even more lucky was the fact that I was wearing an emormous coat. But people still noticed as I hopped across the street.

To make me feel better my friend Anthony confessed that he had been playing X-BOX the night before, one of those games where I forget how you call it but you have the perspective of the character you are being... like you only see their hand and gun or whatever. Well Anthony had it on in surround sound... he was playing and suddenly he heard gunshots behind him so he ducked. And then realized it was only the game.

I was realizing I must be lonesome for a guy. I was realizing this because I was sitting there watching some show about of all things Limp Bizkit, and suddenly I was all swoony over Fred Durst. Icky!! Okey-doke... time to find a fella...