Suckity Suck

I HATE STORES/SHOPPING at Christmastime

and i work in a dumb store

man, what next?

here is a list of crap i HATE



1. Tickle Me Elmo ( I think the new one is called TMX or Elmo X, apparently Elmo is now an observant Muslim? dunno) There has been a man that comes in to the store so often asking for it that they are considering a restraining order to keep him out (no joke, the man is a loon). You know that "they" know that the stupid ass thing is going to sell like hotcakes yet they only release a few at a time to keep the demand up so that lame people will have to sell their firstborn to get it on Ebay. And really, what kid will be interested in the dumb thing more than 5 minutes. A kid wants a plushie that they can cuddle with at night without it bursting into fits of hysteria.

2. Barbie + Tickle Me Elmo...yes that bitch comes with a mini Elmo X of her own...what is a 35 year old woman doing with it? She is prolly gonna sell it's ass on Ebay. Barbie is no dummy (except when it comes to Math). Barbie nearly makes up for this putridity by also coming in a set with a dog and a pooper scooper and the dog EATS and CRAPS I kid you not...A crapping dog would make up for the Elmo if it were not for the MyScene Barbie....which is such a blatant rip-off of Bratz that I must laugh at its pathetic giant head. There is a kinda funny one that comes with some kind of metal under it's head so that when you press buttons on its back it makes different "expressions" none of which resemble human expressions mind you, just stretchy freaky doll head "expressions" that are extra funny if you press the buttons all at once

3. Wii and Playstation 3....people camped out 2 days for the latter and that bastard is 600 dollars. And, like our beloved Elmo, they only dole out a few at a time to the stores to keep the demand up and the stupid public buys into it....



4. I hate people that come in to get price adjustments for stuff that went on sale...not in general, I can totally understand doing that if the item is 10 dollars off of the price you paid, or if you bought mass quantities of an item....but I will never understand peeps who come in to get a measly 50 cents back...you paid more than that for the gas to drive to the store, moron!



5. I hate the lack of training they give at the particular store I work at now...any cashier can issue a rain check or correct their silly booboo like missing a coupon....but noooo they don't wanna train anybody so the customer just gets sent over to guest service to stand in line arms crossed glaring at me, yes me, while some idiot ahead of them tries to get a 50 cent price adjustment on a fucking ornament.

6. I hate our prohibitive return policy, if you have your receipt or you are the purchaser and you have a trackable method of payment (credit card etc) you're golden....if you receive more than 2 gifts without a reciept and you try to exchange them within one year of each other, you are going to have to use your ID and be treated like a criminal. And you are going to yell at me, not that I made up the retarded policy or anything, and honestly I would be willing to steal the shit for you myself except that I really need my meager paycheck right now.



7. I hate the coupon scam....people will buy like seven things of diapers, 5 packages of maxi pads, 3 boxes of Nicorette gum....use coupons, and then they next day they will return all the items, essentially earning all the money from the coupons. When someone gives me a receipt where it is obvious what coupon was used for what, I just deduct the amount of the coupon...even though I am not supposed to, then the customer says something like "oh i'm returning this for my wife, have to ask my wife" then leave with the stuff again.....but, now, they have foiled my little plan. They come in with their method of purchase and no receipt and I am helpless to ruin their scam. But when a man is returning 10 packages of maxi pads I know what he has up his sleeve. And I scowl at him the entire time.

Thank the maker

finally, geeeeez. Cuz you know when Hayden Christensen was standing there at the end of Return of the Jedi, Luke was probably thinking "who the fuck is that longhaired kid?". Of course they wait til everybody bought the lame redos...like we all have so much money to keep laying down on the same movie...

I know it is shallow on 9/11 to be posting Jedi news, but between all the newpaper and TV coverage I'm sure I don't have one smart or important thing to add.

I disabled anonymous comments on here so whoever was being a lil bitch the other day will have to fess up and say who they are if they want to be critical.


'kay so I work at Target...there is another thing to be nasty and judgemental about...enjoy!!

I HAVE 30 DAYS LEFT
I HAVE TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE
OH CRAP

Reminisking Ug Ug UG UG UG

I like to spell reminiscing like Popeye, lest you think I dunno (don't know) how to spell. Wait maybe I don't after all...is it reminising? reminicing? right the first time? no wonder I like to spell it like Popeye would say it.

On MySpace, the dreaded MySpace...I ran into a guy from high school...he updated me on oodles of people that we know...my first boyfriend, the Slayer fan with the very metal look, is married with a kid...Such a surreal thought to think of everybody all grown up...I'm gonna try to go see my friend tonight. First I'm gonna run by work and copy some pictures for him. I was so excited and the only person who I could tell about all the news, who would be just as intrigued as me, is Mama. And she is in surgery as I type this. Nothing huge just trying to help her back injury.

A Wealth of Useless Information

On Friday, I went to see Willie Nelson and Shooter Jennings at Konocti Harbor, "Tucked away in a scenic cove on the shores of beautiful Clear Lake" which means "you are gonna get carsick on that winding mountain road". But it was worth it for Willie!! Konocti is a fairly small venue...pretty mellow with ridiculously over-priced beverages and good hot dogs.

Shooter Jennings mainly focused on songs from his newer album but he did sing Fourth of July-my favorite-so I was hap-hap-happy. Willie sang old favorites plus new stuff...the ones he is prolly contractually obligated to play (On the Road Again, Mammas Don't Let Yer Babies Grow up to be Cowboys) and a coupla Hank W. (Jambalaya and Hey Good Lookin') and a coupla Kris K. (Help Me Make it Through the Night and Me and Bobby McGee)...my man even sang the Beer Barrel Polka. He did Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain, Georgia, Always on My Mind (i was about to start bawling feeling like a kid and near Blue Lake and all...) um, Crazy...and of course Whiskey River.

Next day, I went to Ma's...she told me about a dream where she was sleeping in the same room with my Dad and my stepdad and I called to tell them I was stuck somewhere on a freeway... my Dad said he would go and get me... my mother told him no, let Gary (my stepdad)...she was thinking because my Dad had one leg and got uncomfortable driving (the second time the cancer came back, it was wrapped around the artery going into his left leg... so they took it, he died 15 years (to the day) later...when it came back the millionth time....fuck cancer...fuck mortality)then she looked at my dad and saw that he had both legs again. For a minute I thought that dream meant I was soon to die...but who knows what dreams mean, anyway? I had a stupid dream that night that I was designing Barbie clothes. So whatever.

That Motherfucking Movie

I really want to see Snakes on a Plane, not because of the hype, well maybe because of the hype....but mostly because I love Samuel L Jackson.

If it blows in a bad-bad way...can I recommend a substitute for you to rent? I can?!?!? Hey, thanks! The Long Kiss Goodnight. Over-the-top-goofball-suspend-your disbelief-action, and hilariously-funny-super-quotable screenplay. One of my all-time favorites.

on a more serious note...

I read an article that really moved me this week, about young girls being sold into prostitution. Some were abducted from their homes, and some were sold in to slavery by THEIR OWN PARENTS, which I cannot fathom. Somaly Mam, who lived in Cambodia and was sold into slavery by her parents when she was a small child, has taken this horrible experience and allowed it to strengthen her... she had founded an organization dedicated to helping girls get out of this tragic situation... her site can be found here. Sadly, in retaliation for her efforts, her own daughter was kidnapped and brutally raped. Her resilience through it all is an inspiration.

The article was written by Mariane Pearl, wife of slain journalist Daniel Pearl.

It's a frightening world.

and i do find odd to read this article sandwiched between "if a man doesn't want to cuddle after sex, does it mean he is not that into you?" and "superstar hair special!"...but i do commend Glamour magazine for at least attempting some serious journalism along with the fluff..they are not quite up to Marie Claire or Jane but light-years ahead of Cosmo....

oh for fuck's sake

*note to casual reader: this is mainly complaining about work so you are totally excused if you would rather look at something else. go on, go! plus, it is poorly punctuated and i can't bring myself to capitalize the beginning of every sentence

*note to self: is there a casual reader out there,
anyway?

*note to reader again: this might improve at the end

i tell ya, just when i was saying i will really miss my job if i move...we get some dumbass new manager and lame new way of running the photo lab. this manager, i swear she is straight out of business college with her "how can we be proactive about this" and "let me see if i am hearing you right" ...fuck that shit, i cannot stand that bs babble...she has been there for 3 days and has managed to alienate just about everybody...to top it off she is younger than me (and i know it is shitty of me, just because i am not ambitious or career driven at all so i am in a low postition) but i can't take direction from some person that is younger than me and idealistic in an annoyingly phoney happy way. even Nick, whos is much more kind and patient with people than i am, had to laugh when i said "looks like the new manager is going to be a big improvement". Then, for the photo lab, they are installing a new system that basically tracks how fast we get everything done, and this is fucking stupid because: we don't even get all that many customers, it makes something that would only take about a minute require five additional steps, and it measures the time it takes to do things that we don't really have that much control over FOR EXAMPLE...packaging an order...if i am cutting negatives to fit in a sleeve and some person comes up to pick up their order....i would stop what i was doing and wait on them first, because that is good customer service...but with the new system it would just look like i was lagging or goofing off...i've said it before and i will say it again FUCK THAT. this job was much less corporate than many other jobs i have had, but they sure screwed that up in two shakes.

DREAMS THAT I HAD since i posted here last:

i was in my childhood home, and all the lightbulbs kept burning out

i was in a fight with my mother, and i found out she kept a blog...so i snuck a peek at it and all of her entries where about working in a beauty parlor, which she doesn't

i was the camera man on a movie, and the actor had his back to the camera, his shirt was inside-out and he had a tag on the collar that was showing the whole time... so i started yelling at people and saying "what is this? a goddamn fruit of the loom commercial?!??!"

i was in college with an important paper due right away and i didn't write it or pay any attention to the class

and now, Part 3: Cosmopolitan

every so often i buy some lame girl magazines just to let me know that i am not as lame a girl as i could be...okay i always read Jane but Jane is smart and funny...and Marie Claire fits in some good information on serious issues along with all the fluff....but Cosmopolitan, dear God, Cosmopolitan recycles the same dumb crap it's been publishing since i was a kid and i used to sneak a look at my sister's copy....

so allow me to quote some of the dumbest crap for you if you have hung in this long (if you have hung in this long, you deserve better than this, but it is all i have to offer i assure you):

Cosmo on "massages tame enough to try on him poolside or at the beach":
"THE THIGH PLEASER: Kneel between his legs, and walk your fingers from his knee, up the inner thigh, toward his package. Before you reach the promised land, stop and lightly draw your fingertips back down the inside. 'The thin skin makes it sensitive to the touch' says Patti Britton, PhD, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage. 'Plus, the fact that you are so close to his privates in public gives him a rush'."


okay, number one- doing that in public may well be enough to prompt a complete stranger to give you $20 to "get a room"
number two- "package" and "promised land" are two of the all-time stupidest ways to say "cock"
number three- I wonder how many PhD's in the world are called Patti
number four- I totally want to write a book called Chicken Soup for the Complete Idiot

Cosmo on how to "drive him wild with words":
"Tell him what's worth seeing. Men are visual creatures, so ignite that part of his brain by using decriptive words that conjure up sexy images. For example, when you tell a story, plug in a detail about your physical self: 'My hamstrings are sore from doing downward dog last night at yoga'."

oh yeah that is great conversation right there...

Cosmo on "10 things to crave right now":
"the YSL Muse Bag, $1,995"

like i really want a purse that is worth more than my bank account

'kay that's enough, but you get the picture....

for fucks sake!

I'm a pro at procrastinating....

I put the "pro" in procrastination, baybeee. I gotta vacuum and pick up all the cd's and junk that i keep tripping over...and figure out what I am bringing to SF....SF whooooohoooooey...I am looking forward to this weekend sooooo much.

At least I am getting laundry done...there is another annoying thing about the roomate... he did a crapload of laundry the other day and clearly never emptied the lint trap. You could knit a fuckin' sweater with his laundry remnants. As it stands now, he is moving out at the end of August... Lis is still trying to sell the house but no luck so far so I think I will still have a few months to figure out what I'm going to do. And you know what that means....Freedom to Procrastinate!!

AND NOW A MESSAGE TO PEOPLE WHO WRITE CHECKS:
Don't!! I think since the advent of the check card (debit card with Visa logo or whatever) and the fact that most places take regular atm cards anyway....checks should be for mailing, only....or if you simply must use one... pre-fill-in everything on it except the total while you are waiting in line...that way, people behind you won't have to wait in line forever and a day since you didn't even pull your checkbook out of your purse til the last possible second because you were so busy staring at the cash register just to make sure you didn't get overcharged on your York Peppermint Patties you annoying old biddy. There. I feel much better now.


AND NOW A WORD FROM WILLIE NELSON:

I've got a long list of real good reasons
For all the things I've done
I've got a picture in the back of my mind
Of what I've lost and what I've won
I've survived every situation
Knowing when to freeze and when to run
And regret is just a memory written on my brow
And there's nothing I can do about it now.

I've got a wild and a restless spirit
I held my price through every deal
I've seen the fire of a woman's scorned
Turn her heart of gold to steal
I've got the song of the voice inside me
Set to the rhythm of the wheel
And I've been dreaming like a child
Since the cradle broke the bow
And there's nothing I can do about it now.

Running through the changes
Going through the stages
Coming round the corners in my life
Leaving doubt to fate
Staying out too late
Waiting for the moon to say goodniight
And I could cry for the time I've wasted
But that's a waste of time and tears,
And I know just what I'd change
If went back in time somehow
But there's nothing I can do about it now

I'm forgiving everything that forgiveness will allow
And there's nothing I can do about it now

Coocoooooooon (cuckoo'in')

one of my favorite ways to spend my day off... if it is too stinking hot to go anywhere...is to stay inside with a fan blowin' and drink and screw around on the internet, read, watch movies and cocoon, curl up in a lil ball like nothing else matters... but damnit i was just in the kitchen and heard ma sisters phone....some fools are coming here at 4pm to look at the house shitandpiss i gotta clean
my room

that sucks

and i'm hoooooongry
i want something spicy
blah blah blooey


i wanna work for VH1 cuz you know those peeps are sitting around drunk as skunks and reminiscking about dippy stuff...laughing at silly shit... that is the channel that best compares to my brain i think

my roomate is either dead or sulking in his room, he was pissed about some unknown thing yesterday and i am tired of that.. if i am down i may vent here or talk to someone i know would be supportive but i don't go around acting a right bitch to people i have no choice but to see on a daily basis cuz who wants to suck them into drama you know? he is the girliest man i have even met. i'm mean to say that but i am mean anyways so take it or leave it..heheh i have an excuse this week though ("eeeewww" says any male that might be reading this).

oh yeah
i bought one of those Memory Foam pillows, it's okay, it doesn't work that great for me cuz i am one to sleep on my side with the arm of the side I am sleeping on shoved up under the pillow...but let me tell you here and now, my cat (Minka) loves that fucking thing. She is in seventh heaven on that foam. sorry for cussing i like to cuss, does that sound affected? I just like it.

and let me add a wrinkle to my statement about VH1..i am down except for My Fair Brady
i prefer to keep that guy in his pork chops and applesauce mode forever

Randal is my homeboy

I know it got some horrible reviews but I'm here to tell ya I loved Clerks II. That is all I am here to tell ya cuz it's hot and I'm too tired to form logical sentences...goodnight!

PISSED!

I'm pretty easygoing but today i walked into the kitchen and the TV was on, the pieces of shit that moved into Laci Peterson's house are going to give an exclusive tour to some fucking leech from the media.. people are making money off that poor girl and her baby ....fucking animals...and that stupid cunt he had an affair with had to write her book or more than likely put her name on something that was ghostwritten...people bought it, people are sick. And a big fuck you to that rotten fuck Mark Geragos while I'm at it...and that looney person with the Scott is innocent website...

Dogs that look like Mussolini

Cats that look like Hitler

especially this one:

do you suppose they painted that hairline in? anyway...weird

i am so stressed about money and such that everything is taking on that slightly surreal tone that life takes on when i am about to freak out...Lis is going to sell the house after all, i don't know where i am going to live, i don't know why i am not using caps for I, i have a cold and i can tell it's that lame kind you get just because you are stressed to the max

i had a nice time in SF though... Kit was very fun, I took him to see the pirates...Louie made us free delicious sandwiches and gave us these free tickets he got to Love, Janis...third row...very good acting and singing it gave me the shivers...i honestly only know a couple Janis Joplin songs but the band and singer were pretty cool. We were sitting next to a girl who said her name was Compost. She was sharing with us this banana bread that tasted very yummy until she told us her name.

Stuff for you to do

rearrange my face:



wonder what the hell this is:




notice that minka is a star:



make waves with Audrey:



there is other cool stuff at that site, like a board that anyone can draw on, but i think it will throw my sidebar all out of whack so maybe i will just put on at USP

eventually

Anti-social again...Plus: religion and penises

I went out with Chuck for the day but the truth is other than work, I just like to be at home...Whether sitting in the sun reading, or (more often really) screwing around on the computer... I'll blame my dentist... Because of the vicodin... Now I just like to relax...

We saw Superman Returns, I liked it... Good decision to use the John Williams score cuz that definitely pushed it over the edge into liked-it-ville... I mean parts were a little slow... but all of the actors in it were very good... I was surprised, I expected not to like the be-wigged Lois Lane, but I liked her... and it was smart to go with a relative unknown for Supes himself... and the dedication at the end to Christopher and Dana Reeve...class act all the way.

Oh man, my cousin that just had a baby, her mother is having a fit because she (her husband mainly) refuses to have the baby baptized...it's totally weird because she and the husband go to church and all but the husband says that he wants to let their kid decide in her own time what religion she will be...the reason that is odd to me is because religion annoys me a lot of the time but if I had a kid, I would baptize it.. just the ceremony, it seems traditional like a rite of passage and a time for the family to meet the lil baby...plus I would rather appease my family then have them all up in arms thinking that we are all going to Hell.... what's the harm in a baptism it's not like the kid is not allowed to explore any other religion in adulthood just because they were baptized as an infink. Here is the funniest part... my cousins mother (who is also my cousin, i know but i am trying to be specific enough so's that the casual reader doesn't get confused, good luck huh) and my mother plan to covertly baptize the kid... at first I thought my mother meant they were gonna kidnap the baby and sneak it to a church but all she meant was they are going to say a little prayer and splash water on her lil baby head... now that to me smacks of stupid-stition- but, whatever...I mean it is rather cuckoo when you think about it... I wonder if they will use tap? HEHEH I just hope my mother isn't vehemently pro-circumsion, because if i ever have a son, he is keeping his foreskin, thank you very much, and I hate to think of my mother and cousin absconding with the baby, rubbing alcohol, and a manicure scissors.

B O R E D

Your 1920's Name is:

Althea George

What's Your 1920's Name?

You Are Jan Brady

Brainy and a little introverted, you tend to think life is a lot worse than it actually is. And while you may think you're a little goofy looking, most people consider you to be a major babe.

What Brady Are You?

You Are Most Like Miranda!

While you've had your fair share of romance, men don't come first Guys are a distant third to your friends and career. And this independence *is* attractive to some men, in measured doses. Remember that if you imagine the best outcome, it might just happen. Romantic prediction: Someone from your past is waiting to reconnect... But you'll have to think of him differently, if you want things to work.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Funny, on the DVD questions first I was Carrie and then I was Samantha...

You are Maryiln Monroe

A classic tortured beauty You're the dream girl of many men Yet they never seem to treat you right

What Famous Pinup Are You?

Oh Mah GOODNESS

tonight is very funny, my roomate is in a full on fight with some loon on myspace that dated someone he dated and they are back and forth with crap about each other, i told him to forward some to me and if he does i will post it for your amusement...I love the internet... have I mentioned that lately? it is heaven for a shy girl that has a lot to say but can't say it in big groups of people heheheh

anyway my roomates myspace is all over 40 chickies that pose provocatively in nighties or less.. is that destined to be my future? it is a question I shall ask my magic eight ball... the response is

fuck off tipsy mcstagger

SUPER COOL!!! BADASS!!! HOORAY!!! and all that

*FAT SPOILER* but if you wanna see the Pirates ride reno....look here

amazing.... i can't wait to see it in person... i think it looks fantastic... plus they show Johnny Depp riding it, schwing! (how come girls don't get a good word for that? c'mon girls come up with a girl equivalent to schwing)
oh we can settle for hubba hubba maybe

Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown

listen to radio KOOK

on a whim i post songs... i am sure it is illegal but it is kinda fun for me...i like almost everything so you may find something you like, too

is the new color of this blog really annoying to look at? i was bored with the old one...I am trying to fix it up and shit

i took off my buzznet piccy thumbnailio links by request of alexv
i am easily persuaded this week....

"i've organized my useless life in a way i've never done before, even visit the dentist now" Cat Stevens... this song is on my jukey dookie... check it, see i tied it all together at the end....of the post i mean.... ?!?!?!??! WTF it's one of those weeks...again

Internet Explorer, whenever I open it, says "this is not your default internet connection would you like to make it your default" or sumpin' like that, and i click yes, then the next time it still asks again, and i click yes, then the next time is asks YET AGAIN, and i wish there was a button that said YES, YES, GODDAMN IT YES!!!!!!

the ice cream truck is playing a tune that reminds me of a movie

a violent movie
never mind i just rememebered, it's Kill Bill


um... this computer is very fast and now i am super duper excited about it
i would try to write something interesting, but that is hard with heineken and vicodin... perhaps another day

Nipple

I am sooooooo grumpy.

Do you ever feel like one day you'll be dead and no one will really have cared that you lived?

ya ever wonder what is the point? of everything?
are you ever puzzled by human behaviour? did i just spell that like i was British?

it fucking blows to work in a store around Father's day...and everywhere you turn you are reminded that your father is dead. and your mother sometimes acts like this whole other person that you didn't expect her to be.



my new roomate has this in common with my sister: he is way into dating...he also has the Jesus thing in common, I noticed... oh dear. Jesus Loves You....everyone else thinks you're an asshole. Jesus is Coming...look busy. I found Jesus...he was behind the couch the whole time.
he has this in common with me: he collects crap. not the same crap but crap within his own line of interests. Not Jesus crap though... i mean model cars and that kinda stuff. I'm the one with the religion candles like you can get at the grocery store... i am very fond of those, and isn't it ironic, dontcha think.

i don't know why I blog really except to vomit out shit that is floating around in my brain... and i like to find people that make me laugh or say stuff that I can relate to, (it cheered me up this morning for sure)...and then i don't feel so alone. I like buzznet for seeing places or things that you might not have seen otherwise...

blah blah blah i wrote and then got off of the computer to get ready for work

There Ain't No Sanity Clause

Hello. So the new roomate is okay...and so far everything is going swimmingly (speaking of swimmingly, I wanna go swimming!)
I looked at his profile on myspace- myspace is kinda sleazy and cheesy, if you want my opinion, which you didn't ask for- but you are reading this so that is my opinion. We pulled it up at my mom's house... my step-nephew did... my step neph is 14 and has a myspace, and even on that scantily clad teens are adding him for a friend... "say a prayer for the youth of America" why are kids skanky like that nowadays.. it's sad. Also at my mothers, as usual, I caught up on the tabloids, and there was a thing about how Marie Osmond's two daughters had really sleazy crap on their myspace. Not that i am a total prude but there is a limit between...oh never mind i just sound like an asshole anyway. :P Anyhoo the point is i don't mind the roomate cuz i usually keep to myself in this house anyway... but now it is kinda strange because i feel like i am living in his house rather than my sisters. THis is because she is not home as often now that she is finally working again, there are so much boxes and crap everywhere it is like trading spaces or one of those dumb shows.

My favorite tabloid article title of the weekend was "Sean Preston's Year of Living Dangerously" --this cracked me up, even though I feel so sorry for that cute little baby with two idiots for parents (this is Britney Spears' kid in case you were not familiar). My favorite blurb in a magazine, which was actually Rolling Stone I think, was about that movie Snakes on a Plane...it said that there was a teaser trailer or something for the internet where some guy imitated my beloved Samuel L Jackson's voice and said "i want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane" and the response was so positive that they reshot some scenes so that Samuel L will actually say that in the movie now....that sounds like a total hoot. I realize it is over-hyped now, but I am a sucker for anything that silly. And I am a sucker for Samuel L- I just love that guy, he's my favorite movie star...

I had way more stuff to talk about but now it slipped my slippery mind, and I have a ton of pics for buzznet... so I am gonna go over there...

Adhesive

I am feeling all discombobulated so I am just going to type out random stuff to get it out of my brain
i am so irritated, well not really, it's par for the course these days but i was able to comment on buzznet then i posted a picture and couldn't comment afterward well piss on it

really weird thing happened monday night, at midnight the sheriffs dept knocked on our door (probably wouldn't have, now that i think about it, but for the fact that my light was on) they started asking questions about the lady next door...when did we last see her, etc...her husband was abusive and they were about to divorce.... we were so afraid that the police were there because she was missing or found dead. they said no, but we were thinking maybe they couldn't divulge that information....we were very freaked out after they left. The next day we found out it was the mean husband who was dead, and they were trying to find next of kin to notify. He killed himself by driving drunk... and before that, he trashed their house that they were trying to sell. but in a way it is better because she was apparently thinking on getting back together with him
lis found us a roomate by posting a personal ad, on the blind date the guy could tell she was still all fucked up about her last relationship, so he said you just need a friend, then as it turned out he needed a place to live...so she said move in
she came home and told me and i thought holy fuck this is nuts, she said God answered her prayers...i need to watch life of brian repeatedly to cleanse myself of her Jesus freak-ee-ness...besides the point, i thought oh shit, he came over with his roomate that was moving away...seem like two sane persons... i feel okay about it, i mean if she gets to keep the house and yeah well this means i can move on without feeling like she is relying on me, not that i wanted her to rely on me, but i get these guilty feelings....anyway i am rambling
don't worry about me, i am distrustful almost to a fault and there is no way anyone is pulling the wool over my eyes... but in a sense i think it will be fun to have a roomate that was someone i didn't know beforehand.. i think it might work okay....out mother of course is having a conniption fit (however you spell that and whatever it really means ) about the whole thing
but that is another thing that is par for the course
sorry for all the golf terms, or that golf term anyway, the one i just repeated

pete and repeat when into a bar
pete came out
who was left
repeat
pete and repeat went into a bar

it's probably re-pete huh> i always fuck up jokes...well it is probably better out loud ohhhh man

hey i finished the book i was reading, Miss New York Has Everything....i liked it
emotional father stuff at the end though
now i just started Vernon God Little
like you care
well, you are mildly interested, if you are still reading this by now
or else you are reading this thinking what an egomaniacal asshole and spitting at your computer and calling me dumb bitch....

today at work a lady said "how fucking rude!" and i thought she was saying it to me so i looked at her, alarmed, thinking what'd i do? and it turned out she was saying it towards the assholey guy that was rude to my coworker and then left, he probably heard her and thought she was saying it to me, too.... well it turned out she is a clerk to and said that she always feels like saying that to people that she deals with, and she obviously can't at work unless she wants to get fired. So it was kind of a catharsis for her. She said "lets face it, none of us really want to work so why should some asshole come in and make our day more miserable." this was a cool lady that i would hang out with, 'cept i didn't catch her name. And oddly, i do like my low-paying job. she could come work with me. I like crap jobs cause you can talk shit to other coworkers without getting in trouble, cuz even your managers agree that everything is pretty much bullshit. at smaller companies, you can't even vent cuz the person making up the crappy stupid rules will get wind of it. and that is just frustrating. but i digress....

here is silly pop-cultural thing just so i am not so personal and specific about my life...i got the dvd for Clueless because i think that movie is very sweet and clever, and i wonder why alicia silverstone isn't doing many movies because she is a very pretty charming girl... well this dvd had extras that were actually entertaining and i think that the director/writer Amy Heckerling is one of cutest people ever... i mean i love her personality and look...she has shortish wild dark hair (kinda like Tim Burton) thinnish eyebrows and tons of eyeliner...she wears layers of clothes, mostly dark, along the lines of Allison in the Breakfast Club...and she is the type of person that you can tell stays close friends with people, is loyal, and is not afraid to be very honest and compliment people sincerely as well... i can tell this from dvd extras for i am Spartacus

i went to the dentist finally after many many years.. i could tell i had a cavity due to the pain and also the large hole in my tooth....they took x-rays... he said my teeth were all doing quite well with the exception being that one in particular... he said the root looked infected so he's got me on amoxicillin and then in two weeks i get a root canal. and a thousand dollar bill cuz my insurance sucks donkeys but oh well, what is one more debt when you are already swimming in debt... the more the merrier i say... screw it lets file for bankruptcy... this of course is the vicodin talking.. dentist prescribed that too.... I'm rather enjoying it.

Heh?

This morning I was puzzled to find a book of erotica on the kitchen table. I was further puzzled to notice that it was erotica intended for "women of color". The story of the Sisters of APF (Alpha Phi Fuckem) it said...part of the Velvet Jones collection maybe??

I had to ask...Lis explained that Rick...the man who was helping with the yardwork and painting of the house and volunteered to drive her around looking at apartments...gave her the book, saying "i bought this but it is meant for women" and apparently she didn't really look at it til this morning. Um HELLO wake up, did I mention also that Rick is married? Lis, get rid! This is further proof to my theory that a lot of men that offer to do nice things for you don't do it out of the goodness of their hearts so much as the hardness of their cocks...that was really rude to say I apologize, but what an ass....hope Lis doesn't get fished in...

Last night I had the most bizarro dream, it went on forever and ever and it was about a family that had septuplets that, in certain versions, went missing...were kidnapped...sailed away unattended in a small boat...I say certain versions because the dream was variously live action, animated, and drawings as in a picture book- with narration. The mother was portrayed by Perdita of 101 Dalmatians, a nondescript drawn woman, and Hillary Swank. The only person I knew in it was an elderly fellow that was very kind to me in the photo lab that day, he appeared in the dream as in investigator. Perdita called a group of people "bastards" how un-Disney of her...the rest of the dream is fading away...

HEH?

Gatorade is Thirst Aid

for that deep-down body thirst

sorry it's just that I am thirsty and that keeps popping into my head...that reminds me of an article years years years ago in US magazine about that dipshit Kato Kaelin and it said during the interview he admitted that sometimes the words "A Quinn Martin Production" would pop into his head, "unbidden" and it "spooked" him. Here I am years later remembering the details of some article about some asshole and I can't even remember important stuff.

cool news...the nephew got a new job teachin' peeps how to play the gee-tar!


I miss my Bay Area family/friends so much today...I am not going to see my mother on mother's day and I feel bad about it..I have to fucking work. They gave me a raise though...but still

holy fuck a catfight is going on outside! loudly! I looked at Minka and she wasn't even fazed...she was laying on the bed facing the other direction and she just leisurely turned her ears backward to hear it...i wish i had her laid back attitude

I think I will not be a butt and go ahead and eventually (in the next couple years) get married... married and unmarried people now this is your invitation to weigh in with your pros and cons:

feel free y'all...spill it, that is what the comments section is for:

okay see it's like this, my boyfriend from years and years ago that asked me to marry him years ago...so long ago that i was totally not into getting married and then i broke up with him...anyway we are friends again and get along well and he is a good person, he would be kind and not a cheat or a drunk...
this is my pros and cons:

i'm not totally crazy about him CON
i'm not TOTALLY CRAZY about him PRO
i am tired of feeling lost and without a home so getting married would give me a sense of belonging PRO
he is very family-oriented PRO
he already knows all my bad crap from the past PRO
and is used to my stupid mood swings and bullshit PRO
and i am getting better about that anyway PRO
i think i do want to have kids...if only the world wasn't so messed up PRO CON CONPRO now excuse me while my head explodes

see i am always into relationships with unhealthy drama and i think it is time to grow up and move past that...i dunno
full moon fever i tell ya

Every Day Like the One Before

Me an' Chuck saw Beauty and the Beast last night, a play of it I mean...

FRANCHISE GLITZ DEALER

I love Xanadu....is that bad?
I love Olivia Newton-John
I love ELO
I love Gene Kelly
I love bad eighties fashions
I love taking pictures of the TV
I love when you have something in common pop-culturally with people you don't even know very well or people far away....it makes you feel a bit more like it's a small world or something

I know it's cornball but it makes me happy....

I'm losing it

I just finished with my room and it is pretty goddamn clean and empty, so I turn to Minka , put my hand on her tiny shoulder and say "this is lookin' pretty good, innit? We've gonna get shit-faced tonight, so get ready". I guess I will get shit-faced and she'll be strung out on catnip. In 'celebration'

Now it's off to work :P

FACK

I don't have FAQ's I just have FAAAAACK!

I just scrubbed scrubbed and scrubbed the sink and countertop in the bathroom.



Um...so

Today was mildly surreal...I saw a girl holding a baby and thought, wow she is holding it clumsily and ought to support its neck...then I realized it was a doll. So I assumed she had some kind of "home- eck!" class like we had back inte day except we had eggs not babydolls how quaint.. Then this couple that looked about 15, at least judging by the acne of the boyfriend in question came to use the KPT (Kodak Picture Maker blah blah fooforah) and they had a stroller, a pram really.. I thought oh, they must be in the same class... I snuck a peek...yeah that's a doll...wow they went full out borrowing that nice baby carriage and all... then the girl leaned over the carriage and said something along the lines of gitchy-gitchy-goo....wow she really really went all out I thought, then I looked at the dolly's little foot and it kicked into the air...and the dolly gurgled, for it was not a dolly but a real live baby. (sorry for any bad punctuation)

I also must relate to you the stupid cell phone conversation of the guy next to me on the bus part of the trip back from Southern California.... well I will type for you what I remember of this side of the conversation...I'm a cruel chick...but fair

"So (girl's name) took us to this gay bar, dude, I saw like,... transvestites and ...drag queens. We didn't pay for any drinks all night!! Yah!! it was like being a chick at a regular bar!!"

later, to a girl who obviously didn't seem to care too much for him

"so, what are you up to now, still waitressing?"

"what?"

"you're a stripper!!!"

"are you serious?"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!??"

"oh"

"oh, you are being sarcastic"

"I didn't know you had taken your sarcasm to that level"

at which point I put on my walkman, prior to that I was diggin' what the bus driver played, but stupidissimo ruined it for me cuz then I had to sit there about to giggle....

later, on the train, he had the seat in front of me. I have the walkman earphones which stick in your ears and i had taken them off to better enjoy my nutritious dinner of a Velveeta-stuffed pretzel and Bud Light...he turned to me and said "this is kind of a random question, but, can I buy your headphones off of you?" no, I said (there was about 3 and a half hours to go) i just bought these, I explained. "oh, well can I like rent them for a while?" NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FILTHY EARWAX ON 'EM i thought as i said nah I am about to listen to them again when i finish eating. "oh" he said dejectedly, "well, it was worth a shot"

THE END

I love the smell of Coppertone in the morning

I love the smell of Coppertone any old time, it reminds me of good things...going on vacation and that sorta thing. I put some on for no reason but to cheer myself up. I also used a sample of some kind of Axe body wash in the shower. Even though it is intended for men. Cuz also, I love the smell of men.

Finally some people besides me are hatin' on the Dread Julia Roberts

I like that US blog I'mo link it in my links, and get rid of Jase-E-Poos old one, since it now links to some dumbass fake thing.

Dear Mr Lachey

i almost gagged on my Black Cherry Vanilla Coke when I saw this, could you possibly be a bigger dork. Jeeeez Louise. This is right up there with Jennifer Aniston half naked on some other magazine after Brad Pitt gave her the boot.
why are celebrities nowadays so lame? I want to slap em all

my mother had the Enquirer and it had a big article on how Whitney Houston is not only a crackhead but a compulsive masturbator...enough already...we know more than we would ever want to know. yech

yet i sat there and read the dumb magazine anyway

worse yet is the actual newspaper....i read about a 26 year-old cannibal in training who killed a little girl (his neighbor)
and two kids who killed a 90-year old woman in the house that she lived in for years and years...also neighbor to the killers

the world is so in the shitter right now it is just ugly and depressing...

ick sorry to vent i just feel like my mind is filled with garbage and now I spilled it out so I can go to bed

Mink and I are gonna finish watching my Sex and the City dvd set...I stalled til the end well now the end is here...I am waiting on the last set of OZ what up with that...c'mon HBO, you bastards...

DMV- Dynamite

DMV oi! oi! oi!
(to the tune of TNT but you probably knew that, heh?)

2mrw morning I have to go to the DMV to renew my license. I have to go there in person on account of they need to take a new picture this time.

So, o'course, today I come down with a supa dupa gnarly eye-waterin' nose-stuffity cold. Which means my driver's license photo will be teary-eyed red-nosed and mucussy. Iddintdat uh pisha ("isn't that a pisser" said with plugged up nose.)

Also I seriously goofed my eyebrows to the point where they look, oh I dunno, Vulcan heheeh (laughing though the snot)

I go back and forth on linking to this from my buzznet page cuz, well i dunnooooo, but I am going to re-link it what the hell let it all hang out eh?

here is something funny I was looking at on Mama's fast computer, it is slow as hell on mine or I would link to the exact part...anyway look for the video to the Transformers theme song, I almost spit coffee on her computer...during the Queen Latifah moment...holy schnikes that was good...

Vodeodo

Where on earth are all of my socks??? Today I have to wear one long one with snowmen embroidered on it, and one short one with a ghost in an orange wig and the legend "Ghouls Night Out".


It has been pouring rain non-stop to the point of annoyance...the gutters are flooding and we have that stupid sort of curb that curves down into the street rather than ending it a proper squarish way...maybe it has its advantages but none of them are apparent to me.

But to heck with all that...I am excited to go on my first train trip and see Alex and the awesome David Sedaris...and maybe even my favorite place...you know, Disneyland...SoCal here I come, and ya better have some sun for the ol' girl...

Money (That's What I Want)

I have this ginormous pimple on my left cheek (facial cheek, that is) and it is driving me crazy. If I look down I can see it. I half expect it to sprout legs and scurry away like that dude's head in the John Carpenter version of The Thing.

I am so broke and it is so pathetic...I have been independent for a long time and now, just within the last couple of years, I have completely fucked up my finances. Musky knows of an apartment in the Bay Area I could rent for 400/month, which I could totally afford even on a miniscule clerk salary...if it wasn't for all the stupid debt that I have. It is pissing me off. I didn't save a dime when I had that high paying office job and it is coming back to bite me on the ass. I don't know what I'll do but it feels better just getting this off my chest (not really, but I was hoping it would.)

I'm a real cunt in Spring

I hate IM's
I hate them so much i am going to post the one that is interrupting me at the moment, for your reading enjoyment(some guy my sister was trying to fix me up with)

pacomike [11:03 PM]: Hey are you still up.,
J252 [11:03 PM]: whosa are yousa?
pacomike [11:04 PM]: Who do you think Gina
J252 [11:04 PM]: oh!
pacomike [11:04 PM]: Is that a good oh or a bad oh
J252 [11:05 PM]: that was merely an "oh" of recognition
pacomike [11:05 PM]: Are you suprised?
J252 [11:05 PM]: no
i am itchy
pacomike [11:05 PM]: So am I
pacomike [11:06 PM]: Do you want to be scratched
J252 [11:07 PM]: 5 questions:

#1 have you ever shot a car?
#2 have you ever shot a person
#3 what is your favorite song by Elvis
#4 what is your favorite color
# 5 in your language is "itchy" sexual innuendo, cuz it is not in mine

pacomike [11:07 PM]: NO!1
pacomike [11:08 PM]: I am not at the sexual innuendo stage
J252 [11:08 PM]: you are skipping questions!!

pacomike [11:08 PM]: If I want to say something sexual I will say it
JG252 [11:08 PM]: so you are literally offering to scratch me?
pacomike [11:10 PM]: Yes. When I am itchy I like to be scratched and it always feels better when someone else does it
pacomike [11:11 PM]: No comment?
J252 [11:11 PM]: so how about elvis and the color and the shooting of motor vehicles/and or persons
(couldn't tell which questions you were answering) or what is no to all of the above
but who doesn't have a favorite color I ask ya?
J252 [11:13 PM]: =-O
pacomike [11:13 PM]: You lost me, I guess I am not making sense
pacomike [11:13 PM]: Why are you itchy?
J252 [11:13 PM]: i meant bitchy but I forgot the b
pacomike [11:14 PM]: Ohhhhh
pacomike [11:15 PM]: Well don't be bitchy with me, lets have some fun
pacomike[11:15 PM]: Now to answer your questions
pacomike [11:15 PM]: 1....yes, why do you ask
J252 [11:16 PM]: had a hunch
pacomike [11:16 PM]: 2. No I have not and hope I never have to
J252 [11:17 PM]: that is good
pacomike [11:17 PM]: 3. I'm not sure, I really am not an elvis fan
J252 [11:17 PM]: WHAT??????
no way dude
how about Neil Diamond then?
pacomike [11:18 PM]: 4 red first then green
J252 [11:18 PM]: i don't know that song hahah
pacomike [11:19 PM]: 5. You know the answer to the itchy ?
J252 [11:19 PM]: well yes now I guess i do
pacomike [11:20 PM]: And I do like neil diamond, I am hearing a song in my head but can't put a name to it
J252 [11:20 PM]: do you like Mitch and Mickey?
pacomike[11:21 PM]: Why don't you give me the answer to your questions
pacomike[11:21 PM]: Explain
J252 [11:21 PM]: explain what?
pacomike[11:22 PM]: M-tch and mickey, who are they
J252 [11:23 PM]: they sang "a kiss at the end of the rainbow" and "when you're next to me"
J252 [11:24 PM]: I have never intentionally cut a power line in my life!
pacomike [11:24 PM]: well, I like the names of the songs will have to hear them
pacomike [11:25 PM]: They sound romantic, thought you were not romantic
pacomike [11:26 PM]: I have never cut one intentionally either, but did so accidentally once. Lotsa sparks
J252 [11:28 PM]: hey wha happen?
pacomike [11:29 PM]: When I cut the power line?
J252 [11:29 PM]: I got a real red wagon
pacomike [11:29 PM]: When
J252 [11:30 PM]: i can't do my work!
pacomike209 [11:30 PM]: What work
J252 [11:31 PM]: Do you like the Madonna
pacomike [11:31 PM]: Of course
pacomike [11:31 PM]: And you?
J252 [11:32 PM]: Mary is my homegirl
pacomike[11:33 PM]: Well, I went to one of two places in the world where she is said to have appeared
J252 [11:33 PM]: why Paco? what is Paco all about
pacomike [11:33 PM]: Lots of energy there
pacomike [11:34 PM]: Paco in the name I gave myself. He is the real me
J252 [11:34 PM]: that reminds me of a Who song
pacomike[11:35 PM]: Did you ever see serpico? His name was paco
pacomike [11:35 PM]: What who song? I like the who
J252 [11:35 PM]: no i didn't
can I call you Frankie?
J252 [11:35 PM]: can you see the real me
pacomike [11:36 PM]: Yes you can gina
pacomike[11:36 PM]: Ilm trying to, hope I'll get to see u
pacomike[11:37 PM]: How did you know paco means frank
J252 [11:38 PM]: we had a bird named Paco and it was a girl, and someone in school told me paco meant frank (i was little) so we called the bird CheeChee
pacomike [11:38 PM]: Hey send me another picture of you, this time show your face
J252 [11:38 PM]: as opposed to what?
pacomike[11:38 PM]: Chee chee!!
J252 [11:39 PM]: i'm sorry, I have never shown you my cheechee perhaps you have me confused with someone else
pacomike [11:41 PM]: |What do you mean, wasn't that your bird name?
J252 [11:41 PM]: yes
yes it was
pacomike [11:41 PM]: I don't have you confused with anybody...your funny


and so on and so forth

yeah my name's not Gina, he said I look like Geena Davis

Coke: A Cola

J sent me a Flat Stanley...a paper person that you are supposed to take places and take picture of him, and from that her 2nd grade clas gets to learn a lil something something about geography. I took a picture of him with Nick cuz Nicks been around the world and I I I, and that is probably good for the geography bit.



then he learned to process film hehehe

I googled him and wow that lil bastard is everywhere...there is even a punk band named in his honor...

ps: this has nothing to do with coke I just woke up at 4 am and thought Coca-Cola= Coke: A Cola

ARRRGH

I hate it when the buzznet shizzle goes fazizzle...ow whenever i try to go to buzznet i just keep getting a page that says ADMIN 208.179. blah blahblah

I'm so over it
I had a great time in SF and here are a few pics since buzznet is being a little bitch today

alexv and me



the nephew

I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips

I don't know why I have had that song stuck in my head all morning. My Ma is cool like that tho...cuz she bought me Adidas and I didn't have to ask heheh.

I wanted to say that yesterday I was so tempted to print an extra copy of this person's picture....they had 4 rolls of film that consisted of various kids dressed as cowpokes sitting on minature horses (those shortie kind) and one of the horses had a hot pink mane, I guess they were goin for a my lil pony kind of a vibe...I was cracking up and the more I looked at it the more it struck me funny. Some of the kids were kind of tall and stuff and it made the horses look even more squatty and bizarre. Okay I guess you had to be there but I sooo wanted to swipe one to post on buzznet. 4 whole rolls of that...it was too perfect...

I'm MacGyver

My car stereo wasn't working. I put the faceplate on it and it was just dead. But then I shoved a paper clip into part of it and it worked again. Hooray! Now I don't have to drive for hours in silence.

I have 5 whole days in a row off of work, and I can't wait...

PS: I have a confession to make




I've never actually seen a episode of MacGyver.

Fly on the Wall

Or sister crouched in the corner behind a garbage can. Let me explain. The twins were over and we were playing hide and go seek. I hid in the corner of the kitchen behind a plastic garbage can that my sister keeps the dog food in. I had to turn it sideways in order to fit and pile stuff on top to be sufficiently hidden. My sister walks into the kitchen and says "I'll have some of Jamie's coffee. She won't mind" Then she walks to the fridge still not noticing me, and takes out my coffee creamer (french vanilla...what's the diff between that and regular vanilla is it très délicieux comparé à l'ordinaire?) she shakes it and says "yeah, she won't mind". Still didn't notice part of the kitchen is rearranged and I am crouched in the corner thinking "yes i do!!!!" Cuz she always finishes the end of my stuff dammit and she buys the freaking powder kind that is sweetened with aspartame which she knows I am allergic to anyway. (I use Folgers Crystals...after they pulled that crap on me in the restaurant and I was all "no way? this is made from Folgers Crystals? this shit is amazing forget brewing anything....microwave that cup of water and your good to good to good to go solo") Then she sat down across from me drinking my coffee and still didn't notice I was there. I stared at her. And cleared my throat. Ahem. Then she noticed. "oh, that's a good hiding place". Apparently.

A boy in an Insane Clown Posse hat bought a Toblerone

Or some Toblerone...and is that even how you spell it?
I just like to say Insane Clown Posse
or write it as the case may be...anyway, that happened. At approximately 2:52.

Today I got a message on my answering machine from Bub
"Hi Bub! just wanted to say happy valentines day, I was thinking of you. I still love you. Every day of the year" It was non-drunk and even in the morning so that was nice. I wasn't completely alone on this dum-dum day. I even called him back and had a nice normal conversation.
so all is well in the dumb hearts and stupid crap world of luv...

I have been on a chocolate binge....Nick brought back yummy chocolate from England...such as Aero....mmmm Aero.

heheh the girls where making their VAlentine cards for school this past weekend...JC signing her's "with warmest regards" so cute, they are too amazing.

Hey Hey Hey Muthafucka!

I just saw the 40 Year Old Virgin for the 1st time and I constantly feel like saying Hey Hey Hey Muthafucka! I liked it. As you've guessed. It was super long though and I guess it was because it was the unrated version so they added in some deleted scenes...but then even after that the deleted scenes that didn't make it in were cracking me up too.....Okay some muthafucka is parking in front of our house and listening to something wretched (I have bad musical taste I admit but this is one of those fast thump-thump-thump things...if you catch my drift. that is some shit that gets on my nerves.)

In addition to renting that I rented A Love Song For Bobby Long, which kept skipping so I didn't watch it. It would get to the end of a scene and then skip back to two scenes before it. I couldn't get past it. Once I rented a movie and the skip made it skip ahead and when the movie finished I was like "but what the hell happened with?" and then we skipped through again and found the scenes we missed (the man with...the strange man....the man who forgot...well, I forget what the heck it was but it was Billy Bob Thornton and oh shit yeah the Man Who wasn't there it was called....) And I also rented High Tension...I dunno why but every so often i feel like seeing some horror movie, the last time it was Saw and I liked Saw...High Tension was bloody and disgustifying and I hated it. I mean it was sick and boring and so I skipped to the end and thought it was a stupid ludicrous twist. Dumb and irritating. Like the stupid movie with all the shit going on at the motel and then "it's all in his mind" whatever the fuck that was called. But the bloodyness of it was realistic in a yuck-o way that freaks me out...Like the time I watched Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer and I still get nightmares from that muthafucka!

Okay whoever guessed I've been drinking wins a prize hehehe

The other thing I rented I rented because it had Chris Noth and I guess I better watch it right now before I say anything stupider than I've said already. And yeah I don't know the title of it and i am too lazy to look at it even thougth it is merely 5 feet away from me at the moment and I am about to pick it up as soon as i turn this off

Muthafucka!

Fashion Impared

"But I don't even care about fashion!" - my 7 year old niece yelling at her twin sister before slamming the door. They are in Second grade...what up with that?

Last night I went through many clearance racks in a shopping frenzy. I needed new bras because, since I lost weight, I have gone down a cup size and been reappointed to the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (does that really have 2 m's t's and e's? I am too lazy to check). And I bought some cheap purses and shoes because I thought I would maybe cultivate a "look". Carrie Bradshaw influenced, no doubt. I was thinking "funky and eclectic". Today in the harsh light of morning I am realizing it's more "colorblind prostitute". Oh well.

DUMB OBSERVATIONS I HAVE MADE RECENTLY:

while playing kick ball with my nieces in the schoolyard this past weekend, I looked at the sky and exclaimed "there are heck of hawks!"

this morning, trying to rouse myself from sleep and my comfy bed (which are so heavenly to me these days, you have no idea)...I decided to count to a certain number and then force myself to get up. I thought to myself "to count from 99 to 100 takes a split second"

"my brain's turned to tofu!"

Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show

"Jamie loves me, yes yes, she does"

sing along now

"she got the way to move me"

The City of Stockton caused some brewhaha by paying my main man Neil ...(pinky finger pointing towards my mouth) one meeeelion dollars! to appear there!! at their new arena!!! they're pissing off some taxpayers!!! excuse the extraneous exclamation points!!!!

but I loved loved loved the concert. still, that's a lotta money, innit?


buzznet is driving me up the wall with its shady not allowing me to comment or respond to messages dealy. what is up with that? I was going to take a break from it altogether but then I recieved a wonderful gift from my friend Gene and wanted to thank him on there so piss on the break...I just hate to post pictures when I can't write anybody back. makes me mad, i don't think i can handle, she go channel to channel cold lookin' for that hero, she watch channel zero...lil Public Enemy for ya there...

the past few nights I have been sleeping like a rock. i was going to bed early and sleeping in late
well tonight I've been on the computer so now I am all riled up and dunno if I can sleep...i'll try
goodnight sweetheart well it's time to go duh duh duh duh duh...(in a very deep voice)

Shit or Get Off the Pot

Today my favorite sister, lets call her Een, just lets, okay? she said my favorite phrase in the English language, to wit: Shit or Get Off the Pot. She said it in regard to a man that our stepsister, lets call her- hmm- Druscilla desperately wants to marry, according to my mother (call her Ma). (Lets teach me good grammar before it's too late. Does let's need an apostrophe... Oops TOO LATE). We got on this subject because we were saying Ma wants to see everyone paired off and settled down, and said that Dru's boyfriend was stringing her along. Een said she pictured it being over 5 years so shit or get off the pot. But come to find out they have only been dating a little over a year. We are not all in such a hurry, Mama.

Ma wants me to marry a fellow I dated when I was 18. True, he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny. But he and I just don't go together anymore. He and me dance to the beat of a different drum and any other thing you can say to indicate one of these things is not like the other. Truth be told, I am the suckiest person at being able to pair up with someone. I am a pain in the ass. Anyway, I agreed to see this individual, to catch up and be all friendly-like. Because he is a good person and would be a good friend if he is down for being friends only. Een's daughters were none too pleased. They don't want me to marry, you see. Why, I am not sure. I think that they think that if I married, and had kids, I would not go to see them anymore... which is so wrong. Even if I ever did, they are so special to me and important in my life I would never neglect to see them. These are the people I love most. When they found out I was going to see this person, lets call him Chuck, they said "No! you won't get married will you?" and I said NO hella fuck no* (not in those exact words to them, though, cuz they are only 7)

I went to the movies with him and saw Walk the Line. He is very much the same person as he was years ago and it was strange...cool but slightly off-putting. I felt like a maniac in comparison. This was on Sunday, today I talked to Een's kids on the phone, J and JC. JC talked to me first...then put J on...JC whispered to her "don't mention Chuck!" they are still afraid I will marry this guy out of the blue! heheh. They are awfully cute. J said "we are having an after school snack, AKA a bowl of apple slices" she said AKA...that must be their new thing. "Then we have to do homework. What a disappointment." I swear to you this is what she said to me. These are among the reasons why I love those guys so much. They can knock you out with a sentence. JC, when I come over, says "Are you going to spend the night?" yes "OH GOOD!!!" in this sweet little voice...I might have mentioned it before but it makes me tear up whenever she says it... I want more than anything to live near to them again.

My other sister, lets call her, the other sister, was weepy in regard to her boyfriend of approximately 2 months leaving for a trip today. She is from the same lets rush things school of thought as my Ma. It really irritated me though, having spend the bulk of the day with her ex-husband who is the closest thing I have to a brother...I've known him since I was five. He was helping me out because my car needed a new starter...he is a good man, kind and generous...he gave my fathers eulogy which was so amazing and heartfelt. So, whatever their problems, it irritates me to see my sister idealize this new boyfriend as though she is 16 and this is her first love, and treat like crap my ex-bro-in-law...I know you shouldn't "assign blame" or some rahrah psychobabble but truly it was her fault and she doesn't quite own up to that.

But now I am getting way too personal and mopey so screw that...what I want to say that is vague and general is when does Nellie McKay's new album come out (I thought it was January 3rd but I can't find it...even at Amazon. what up???)

*phrase of Kai, a German fellow that we went to high school with. His other much used phrase was "are you serious? that shit blows me away" When I see Clerks I think of him when they show the Russian guy Olaf "my love for you is ticking clock, berzerker. would you like to suck my cock, berzerker" sorta cause a Russian accent is sorta similar to a German accent and mostly cause they are both so very metal.
i dunno why i am using asterisks and italics, for variety I guess heheh
also, the "to wit" thing, I only totally stole that from the beginning of Lady and the Tramp. Speaking of things I stole from L n' tha T..."a wee bairn". I just found out my high school friend had a wee bairn last month, and congrats to her because she is a very cool gal and the kid she has already is such a charmer I am sure he was delighted to have a little brother...

the Cliff's Notes version of the last few days...

New Years Eve, stayed home. There was a fight involving 30-40 teenage boys in front of our house. The police came and they all scattered to the winds. I put on the Dick Clark New Years show. I was amused by the signs in the crowd, especially "I Heart Dick" and "Me plus Dick equals Kiss at Midnight". I was kind of sad to see Dick Clark post-stroke but glad that he was feeling better and up to hosting. I was repulsed my Mariah Carey with her squealing high octaves and butt-ugly too-small dress. I mean if you've got curves that's cool please wear something not so much like an Oksana Baiul skating costume. AND THEN: My niece let her cradle-robbin', pot-smokin', car-stealin' Kevin Federline-esque boyfriend in through her window. I am not down with the white trashy boyfriend. You are so grounded...too bad I'm not her mudder.

New Years Day I went to visit the rest of my family...played "Scene It" with the kids, had the end of the Spritz cookies...watched a dumb movie. The next day, after we watched the Rose Parade at long last, I found out that someone smashed my window and looked in my car. I say looked because they didn't take anything. I had the faceplate of the stereo in my purse and I guess they didn't like my taste in CD's so lucky me. Well, except for the window. And I had to wait another day for someone to come and repair it. I stayed at my mother's house and played with the "on demand" cable...they have quite a selection of Three Stooges shorts and I showed my mother some Monty Python's Flying Circus and the last season of Coupling.

Other than that I've just been working...I have that yuck-o feeling that I have to figure out very soon what I am gonna do in the future even though I so love just spinning my wheels...I'm not being sarcastic I really do love spinning my wheels, I have no ambitions anymore I guess. I just read some article that said that in your thirties you should be looking into buying property and paying off your credit card debts. Yeah, I could do that...with the money I pull OUT OF MY ASS!

Now I am going to go watch Broken Flowers...hooray for it coming out on video so soon we never did get it at any theaters in this podunk town.