Tuesday, 2 May 2006

FACK

I don't have FAQ's I just have FAAAAACK!

I just scrubbed scrubbed and scrubbed the sink and countertop in the bathroom.



Um...so

Today was mildly surreal...I saw a girl holding a baby and thought, wow she is holding it clumsily and ought to support its neck...then I realized it was a doll. So I assumed she had some kind of "home- eck!" class like we had back inte day except we had eggs not babydolls how quaint.. Then this couple that looked about 15, at least judging by the acne of the boyfriend in question came to use the KPT (Kodak Picture Maker blah blah fooforah) and they had a stroller, a pram really.. I thought oh, they must be in the same class... I snuck a peek...yeah that's a doll...wow they went full out borrowing that nice baby carriage and all... then the girl leaned over the carriage and said something along the lines of gitchy-gitchy-goo....wow she really really went all out I thought, then I looked at the dolly's little foot and it kicked into the air...and the dolly gurgled, for it was not a dolly but a real live baby. (sorry for any bad punctuation)

I also must relate to you the stupid cell phone conversation of the guy next to me on the bus part of the trip back from Southern California.... well I will type for you what I remember of this side of the conversation...I'm a cruel chick...but fair

"So (girl's name) took us to this gay bar, dude, I saw like,... transvestites and ...drag queens. We didn't pay for any drinks all night!! Yah!! it was like being a chick at a regular bar!!"

later, to a girl who obviously didn't seem to care too much for him

"so, what are you up to now, still waitressing?"

"what?"

"you're a stripper!!!"

"are you serious?"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!??"

"oh"

"oh, you are being sarcastic"

"I didn't know you had taken your sarcasm to that level"

at which point I put on my walkman, prior to that I was diggin' what the bus driver played, but stupidissimo ruined it for me cuz then I had to sit there about to giggle....

later, on the train, he had the seat in front of me. I have the walkman earphones which stick in your ears and i had taken them off to better enjoy my nutritious dinner of a Velveeta-stuffed pretzel and Bud Light...he turned to me and said "this is kind of a random question, but, can I buy your headphones off of you?" no, I said (there was about 3 and a half hours to go) i just bought these, I explained. "oh, well can I like rent them for a while?" NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FILTHY EARWAX ON 'EM i thought as i said nah I am about to listen to them again when i finish eating. "oh" he said dejectedly, "well, it was worth a shot"

THE END

3 comments:

Alex said...

That's so funny about the gay bar. And kinda gross about the earwax. I hope Amtrak wasn't too ghastly an experience. I really should have driven you home, to see how my car behaves on a long drive.

hyena said...

don't people like this just make you love humanity

globalrenovation said...

Not a very inventive way to try and hit on you... but I'm sure that's what he wanted to do!