Tuesday, 21 August 2001

OOer good news. The Damned are coming! And I am going to see them. Woo-haa!
And then, the following Sunday... gimme gimme gimme some Motorhead!
September will be a mighty fine month for some rock n' roll!

Sunday, 19 August 2001


I was just looking at somebody elses blog, one that was called favorite quotes or somethin'. They were making a list of ten things that piss them off and one was people who point at their wrist when they ask what time it is. They were all "yeah I know where my watch is, where the hell is yours? I don't point at my crotch when I'm asking where the bathroom is." Ha, well that made me laugh. Probably because I am a wrist pointer.

Oh, but I'm tired. I was going to write something in particular and now I can't remember what. Yesterday I went to the beach. Holy shit it actually felt like summer. I'm not making sense. And the last couple times I wrote I was rambling by the looks of it. I'm a ramblin' guy (gal) isn't that some Steve Martin thing? Back when he was Mr Arrow-through-the-head ? I'm gonna stop now. I have no point today.

Thursday, 16 August 2001


why do i get all paranoid that PEOPLE I KNOW are reading my shit and it's WEIRDING THEM OUT?
will now refrain from talking about anything semi-personal unless being very vague. How's that?
am I boring? what possesses me to write this shit? it's kinda egotistical to write this and presume that anyone would care to read it and yet... well... i'm neurotic as hell, i wish i were more egotistical. It would be nice to be confident. SHIT wouldn't it? I don't really know. I work for a someone that has oodles of pictures of HERSELF up in her office, I mean not only group photos but lots of HERSELF by HERSELF I cant grasp liking a picture of myself so much that i would put one up by my desk for myself and everyone else to see every stinking day. that trips me out. that is one healthy self image. it must be a good rare thing to have. I remember me and Ena used to laugh at that show "Moonlighting" because the chick Maddie had a wall covered with pictures of herself. We were like "oh mah gah getoverit!" and now i work for Maddie and I guess I'm Miss Depesto and what I want to know is where the fuck is David Addison? because i could use a cute smirking sumnamabitch rightaboutnow

although i have pictures on my website... why would i presume to think that anyone cares

i'm flipping out... I hope that Louise is alright. if i can wish one thing for the whole year or forever let Louise be alright right now because i can't take any more

Saturday, 11 August 2001

I am confused by this pretty new template... why are the times like a link but then they just come back to where you were before? plz plz tell me now, is there something I should know?
"Good times come and good times go... I only wish the good times would last a little longer" -Social Distortion.
It's the story of my life too, I guess. Lately I am falling into a depression for no apparent reason. It's not like sadness about my father or something that happened but rather that irritating feeling of I can't get out of bed, I can't do anything right. Pissing and moaning. Which I thought I had passed for good but I guess it's never really completely gone. And it is extremely frustrating. It is making me start to hate my job... there is nothing creative about my job and it sucks up so much of my energy that I'm unable to do anything creative in my spare time. I just feel dazed. And I feel kinda overwhelmed with being social, I am just not a very social person and I am forced into it by the nature of my job. And then with staying with my mother... it's like I never get any time to myself. I wish I could afford to live alone again. And the other thing is I have a particular friend that is phoning me so much and I am not real into talking on the fuckin' phone all the time. And it makes me feel mean but it's like have a purpose for calling, don't just be all "what's up? what are you doing? I'm bored" I can't deal with that at this point. And I love her but all the calling is just becoming intrusive to me. I don't feel a need to be talking non-stop and I always fall in with people who do or people who get all neurotic about not being out doing something. No one ever understands that I like to write or that sometimes I would prefer to be by myself whether at home or going out for a movie or something. It drives me fuckin' crazy. It's like my last roomate, she couldn't sit still for five minutes and she always had to have a couple guys at least to string along just so that her phone would ring. I don't get it. This is what is nice so far about Erik, who I've been seeing real casually. He has plenty of shit that he likes to do and he likes to be by himself too and he only calls if he has a reason for calling. And the times that we hang out we are able to shut up sometimes and it's not awkward or anything. It's like what Mia is saying in "Pulp Fiction" about being able to comfortably share silence. Which is cool. I'm glad that I decided to get in touch with Erik because I almost didn't bother, I almost said fuck it, I don't want to date another musician. But he seems different and besides I already realize that anyone who is in a band will always always put that first. And at this point that's fine with me. It is cool to be seeing a guy where we are attracted to each other but neither one of us is all desperate for a commitment or anything. You know what drives me crazy though about going to see bands is I always think what fun it would be to sing. But I don't think I can sing very good. Actually my friend Cleo was talking about making a girl band that covers a famous band. Like Hell's Belles or AC/Dshe or whatever that is. I think that's two different bands? Or is it one and they had changed their name? Hmm... anyway I was thinking if I could sing in one I would looove to sing in one that did Misfits covers. OOh that would pull me out of my depressed slump. (for now I have decided to start exercising like a madman. that's supposed to improve your mood. couldn't hurt)

Sunday, 5 August 2001

"I put on some make-up, turn on the 8-track..." I've just seen "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" yesterday and that song from it is kicking around in my brain non-stop.

The weekend went as follows... on Friday our month-end party at work was postponed to Monday (there's a real party night for ya) so instead I hung out with my friend Ana. Which is cool because usually she goes home early on Fridays (lucky her). Then when I got home I drew for a while, which was nice because I haven't been drawing lately.

Yesterday I went to the movies and to a pub with Marcus. He was nice to me. Lately he's been kinda funny toward me because he knows I've been going out with someone. But he managed to put that aside yesterday and for that I'm grateful.

Today involved house-painting, yelling (not by me) and stress (for everyone involved). Would rather not go into the details as they are pretty stupid. Then tonight, my friend Cleo e-mailed me... she got tickets for Tool so I am going with her Friday. She has a friend she was wanting to fix me up with but... I like the person I'm seeing. Even though we've only been out a couple times. It's just been cool, it's nice to take it slow, this is the first person I have dated that I did not know from work or school or being a friend-of-a-friend. Maybe you're supposed to date more than one person at the same time at the beginning but it seems like a confusing hassle. Well what do I know about anything, anyway. . So anyhow... blah. I'm rambling. I'm going Mariah Carey all of a sudden. Ok that's mean to say but I feel entitled to be able to be wise-ass about shit like that. Just because in my early twenties I was involved in a very unhealthy relationship and I had to chill out for a while, too. So, Mariah, girl- I can't stand your music but I relate to you more now than I did when you were Miss Married-an-old-guy-to-further-her-career, dumped-him-and-started-dressing-like-a-stank-ho. Now you're Miss Various-and-sundry-shrinks-are-throwing-meds-at-you-by-the-handful. I've been there, girly. It sucks, eh?

Thursday, 2 August 2001

it took me like twenty minutes to link this new template to my old archives and when i did the index page came out all screwy!!!
need to figure this out later, too tired to think anymore *yawn* goodnight!
Holy crap what a week!

I get a new desk at work... my reception duties are officially over! I can know actually do what I'm supposed to be doing. Oh shit, my excuse for procrastination is at an end. Tomorrow is our month-end party. Should be cool.

I am digging the new free templates!