Tuesday, 10 January 2006

Shit or Get Off the Pot

Today my favorite sister, lets call her Een, just lets, okay? she said my favorite phrase in the English language, to wit: Shit or Get Off the Pot. She said it in regard to a man that our stepsister, lets call her- hmm- Druscilla desperately wants to marry, according to my mother (call her Ma). (Lets teach me good grammar before it's too late. Does let's need an apostrophe... Oops TOO LATE). We got on this subject because we were saying Ma wants to see everyone paired off and settled down, and said that Dru's boyfriend was stringing her along. Een said she pictured it being over 5 years so shit or get off the pot. But come to find out they have only been dating a little over a year. We are not all in such a hurry, Mama.

Ma wants me to marry a fellow I dated when I was 18. True, he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny. But he and I just don't go together anymore. He and me dance to the beat of a different drum and any other thing you can say to indicate one of these things is not like the other. Truth be told, I am the suckiest person at being able to pair up with someone. I am a pain in the ass. Anyway, I agreed to see this individual, to catch up and be all friendly-like. Because he is a good person and would be a good friend if he is down for being friends only. Een's daughters were none too pleased. They don't want me to marry, you see. Why, I am not sure. I think that they think that if I married, and had kids, I would not go to see them anymore... which is so wrong. Even if I ever did, they are so special to me and important in my life I would never neglect to see them. These are the people I love most. When they found out I was going to see this person, lets call him Chuck, they said "No! you won't get married will you?" and I said NO hella fuck no* (not in those exact words to them, though, cuz they are only 7)

I went to the movies with him and saw Walk the Line. He is very much the same person as he was years ago and it was strange...cool but slightly off-putting. I felt like a maniac in comparison. This was on Sunday, today I talked to Een's kids on the phone, J and JC. JC talked to me first...then put J on...JC whispered to her "don't mention Chuck!" they are still afraid I will marry this guy out of the blue! heheh. They are awfully cute. J said "we are having an after school snack, AKA a bowl of apple slices" she said AKA...that must be their new thing. "Then we have to do homework. What a disappointment." I swear to you this is what she said to me. These are among the reasons why I love those guys so much. They can knock you out with a sentence. JC, when I come over, says "Are you going to spend the night?" yes "OH GOOD!!!" in this sweet little voice...I might have mentioned it before but it makes me tear up whenever she says it... I want more than anything to live near to them again.

My other sister, lets call her, the other sister, was weepy in regard to her boyfriend of approximately 2 months leaving for a trip today. She is from the same lets rush things school of thought as my Ma. It really irritated me though, having spend the bulk of the day with her ex-husband who is the closest thing I have to a brother...I've known him since I was five. He was helping me out because my car needed a new starter...he is a good man, kind and generous...he gave my fathers eulogy which was so amazing and heartfelt. So, whatever their problems, it irritates me to see my sister idealize this new boyfriend as though she is 16 and this is her first love, and treat like crap my ex-bro-in-law...I know you shouldn't "assign blame" or some rahrah psychobabble but truly it was her fault and she doesn't quite own up to that.

But now I am getting way too personal and mopey so screw that...what I want to say that is vague and general is when does Nellie McKay's new album come out (I thought it was January 3rd but I can't find it...even at Amazon. what up???)

*phrase of Kai, a German fellow that we went to high school with. His other much used phrase was "are you serious? that shit blows me away" When I see Clerks I think of him when they show the Russian guy Olaf "my love for you is ticking clock, berzerker. would you like to suck my cock, berzerker" sorta cause a Russian accent is sorta similar to a German accent and mostly cause they are both so very metal.
i dunno why i am using asterisks and italics, for variety I guess heheh
also, the "to wit" thing, I only totally stole that from the beginning of Lady and the Tramp. Speaking of things I stole from L n' tha T..."a wee bairn". I just found out my high school friend had a wee bairn last month, and congrats to her because she is a very cool gal and the kid she has already is such a charmer I am sure he was delighted to have a little brother...

2 comments:

blister said...

i love when your blog is like a rollercoaster.

and now i'm going to steal 'lets call her' stuff for mine. sorry.

also, er, since it's what passes for my career: yep, you apostrophesizery let's. damn - now my life has meaning!

kookychick252 said...

know what? i never got an email to approve this comment and I just found it today
how odd..... well thanks!!