Wednesday, 2 February 2005

Same shit different day....

I spent the entire morning online trying to apply for financial aid and apply to the college I want to go to, but I would be a returning student and I am really confused and don't want to blow what little money I have on applying if I am not going to get accepted to transfer back?!?!?? I talked to a counselor yesterday and he was rushing and he only really suceeded in making me more confused. He kept using finger quotes and saying "unofficially" and "I have to be honest" and made is sound like I was about to get involved in a crimal interprise instead of going back to school. So all in all I am at a complete loss as to what to do!

Kris started his job today, bartending, I hope it is all going well and he gets more and more shifts. Sometimes I want to be June Cleaver and clean up about the house while wearing elegant dresses and have kids and not work at all cuz these days the less I am around people the better. Has there ever been a job that didn't suck in one way or another? I guess I will go back to school. I really yearn to be a mother, but without money and a stable home I can't do that. And I am not sure that I can bring a baby into such a crazy world that seems to be becoming more fucked up by the day. My God. People are nuts. People cheering on Michael Jackson outside court for a child molestation trial. I am mostly sick of California and it's needlessly overpaid celebrities, we even have a celebrity governor for crying out loud. And it's remainder hippie burnouts. And it is too crowded to breathe. I want to move to another state.

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