Sunday, 27 November 2005

"I'm worth a million in prizes"

Here is something vaguely interesting....if you take the lyrics to Girls Girls Girls (Liz Phair that is, not Motley Crue) which are as follows:
"You've been around enough to know
That if I want to leave, you better let me go
Because I take full advantage of every man I meet
I get away almost every day
With what the girls call, what the girls call
What the girls call, the girls call murder
You've been around enough to see
That if you think you're it, you better check with me
Because I take full advantage of every man I meet
I get away almost every day
With what the girls call, what the girls call
What the girls call, the girls call murder"

then using babelfish you translate them

to German then back to English
They around enough were to know to that, if I liked to go you leave me go to improve, because I draw full use from each man, who I keep to away nearly each day with meet which the girls designate, which the girl call which designates the girls, who were girl call murder you around enough to see to that, if you think you are it, you, improve examination with me, because I draw full use from each man I keep away nearly each day with meet which the girls designate, which the girl call which designates the girls, the girl call murder

to Italian then back to English
You have been around enough for knowing that if I wish to go, improved the left ones to go Since I draw maximum advantage from every man who I come it to contact of I obtain via nearly every day with that what the girls call, than what the call who what the girls call, the girls call homicide you have been around in order seeing that if thoughts you are it, you of the girls enough improve me control with Since draw maximum advantage from every man come it to contact of obtain via nearly every day with that what the girls call, than what the call who what the girls call, the homicide of the girls of calling of the girls

to french than back to english
You have be around enough to know that if I want to leave, you improve leave me to leave since I benefit fully from each man that I meeting obtain far almost each day with what girls call, which it call of girls what the girls call, girls murder of call you have étées around enough to see that if you think are him, improve you control with me since I benefit fully from each man I meeting am obtained far almost each day with what the girls call, which it call of girls what the girls call, the murder of call of girls....(that was almost the murder of call girls!)

to Dutch then back to english (my favorite so far)
You are around enough are to to know that if I want leave you, improve me, late go because I take complete advantage of each people that I, I become gone almost each day with what little girls have met clamour, what little girl question what little girls call, the assassination of the little girl question, you have been round enough to see that if you you thinks it is, check you improve with me because I take complete advantage of each people that I, I become gone almost each day with what little girls have met clamour, what the little girl question what the little girls call, the little girls assassination call

then that last version to Spanish and back to English again
You are around enough must to knowledge that if desire licenses you improves to me you go late because volume complete advantage of each people that I go away almost every day with what small girls have solved the outcry, what small question of the girl what small girls call, the murder of the small question of the girl you have been around enough considering that if you who you think are, verify to him improve with me because volume complete advantage of each people who I go away almost every day with what small girls have solved outcry, what the small question what the small girls call, the small call of the girl of the murder


These are the sorts of things I copy and paste to avoid writing about my personal life. All day long at work I was bored and obsessed over what the hell is going to become of me...I need good dumb fun right now and lots of it.

Thanksgiving was very emotionally draining, I drank too much and I think everyone else did too, for no one seemed to notice how drunk I was. Then at the end of the night I was at my sister's and they were watching a Charlie Brown thanksgiving special and Snoopy gave Woodstock turkey. My bro-in-law said "wouldn't that make him a cannibal" and I said mom's parrot would eat chicken. My sister said "Oh yeah, mom's parrot is dead, but don't tell her." What? She's dead, she chewed through some electric cord and died. My mother gave this parrot, who was becoming kind of mean due to the fact that parrots require a lot of attention and there was no one around to care for her in the day time after my father died. She could be very aggravating because although she could speak and sing a little she preferred to squawk loudly. She even bit my mother on the lip. My mother gave it to a friend of her cousin's who had other birds to keep her company. So we thought we were doing it for the best and then the idiot lets that happen. So I feel really bad about it, she was annoying but it was because she was unhappy (my mother had bought her when I was a kid and before my father ever got sick so at the time she was a stay at home mom.) So because I was drunk and tired I started crying over the parrot. The last time I ever saw the parrot was the day the man was coming to pick her up. And I waggled my finger at her, she tipped her head way to the side so I could scratch her below her chin where the feathers were very soft. Poor thing. She had a fucked up life. I wish I had been older and understood better why she acted the way she did when my mother went back to work, and I could have been more sympathetic instead of annoyed at it. This time of year always brings back that when my dad got sick it really threw everything about our lives into turmoil and we all did the best we could to soldier on but I think now it's still catching up to us all. Things we missed. Things we should have done when we could have. People and things that we should have treated kinder. I think when we die we should go right back to the beginning knowing what we know already and try and undo the fucked up parts.

I don't know how they are going to go around not telling my mother the parrot died...what if she asks? "It's pining for the fjords." She will feel guilty for giving it to that man.


Sorry for semi-incoherent remarks...

"I’ve been hurting since I’ve bought the gimmick
About something called love
Yeah, something called love.
Well, that’s like hypnotizing chickens."
i can't stop listening to Iggy Pop this week
"Well, I never got my license to live
They won't give it up
So I stand at the world's edge
Well, I'm trying to break in
Oh no, it's not for me
And the sight of it all
Makes me sad and ill
That's when I want
Some weird sin
Things get too straight
I can't bear it
I feel stuck
Stuck on a pin
Well I'm trying to break in
And I know it's not for me
And the sight of it all
Makes me sad and ill
That's when I want
Some weird sin
That's when I want
Some weird sin
Just to relax with
That's some dumb weird sin
For a while anyway
With my head on the ledge
That's what you get out on the edge
Some weird sin
Things get too straight
I can't bear it
I feel stuck
Stuck on a pin
I'm trying to break in
Oh, I know it's not for me
Well, the sight of it all
Makes me sad and ill
That's when I want
Some weird sin
That's when I want
Some weird sin
Just to relax with
That's some dumb weird sin
For a while anyway
With my head out on the ledge
That's what you get out on the edge
Some weird sin
Some weird sin, some weird sin"
Iggy Pop and David Bowie yessiree

1 comment:

hyena said...

i guess this goes towards explaining your enthusiastic agreement with my drunken disgruntled statement about the holidays. exile in guyville is a great album and i find this post to be utterly hilarious. i think you could actually cull an entire song out of the gibberish. ta-ta. oh yeah, sorry about the parrot. i personally don't like birds but i completely understand not being aware of an attachment to an animal untill they're gone.