I'm back

I am back from non-blogger blogging...I am going to continue with the myspace and buzznet stuff but I am not going to link from there back to here, as this site is more fun from me when it is a bit more anonymous. I dunno, or maybe I just had writers block. Several important things have happened in my life since I wrote on here last:

I got engaged
I got a new job
I found a cool place to live with my fiance

Here is the funny thing about my fiance: he was my high school best friend's boyfriend, and his high school best friend was my boyfriend. That is still his best friend. I barely talk to my high school best friend. And that is a common difference between men and women it seems. If the internet was around while we were in high school and college, I think I would have continued to stay in better touch with her. But she kind of moved in an opposite direction right away, marriage and kids, and she doesn't seem to like the fun internet time wasting crap that I love- like this and buzznet and myspace and flickr.

So, now that I have my own computer back again (or will soon) I am going to start blogging again on my blogger blog. Modern technology, ya gotta love it.

Suckity Suck

I HATE STORES/SHOPPING at Christmastime

and i work in a dumb store

man, what next?

here is a list of crap i HATE



1. Tickle Me Elmo ( I think the new one is called TMX or Elmo X, apparently Elmo is now an observant Muslim? dunno) There has been a man that comes in to the store so often asking for it that they are considering a restraining order to keep him out (no joke, the man is a loon). You know that "they" know that the stupid ass thing is going to sell like hotcakes yet they only release a few at a time to keep the demand up so that lame people will have to sell their firstborn to get it on Ebay. And really, what kid will be interested in the dumb thing more than 5 minutes. A kid wants a plushie that they can cuddle with at night without it bursting into fits of hysteria.

2. Barbie + Tickle Me Elmo...yes that bitch comes with a mini Elmo X of her own...what is a 35 year old woman doing with it? She is prolly gonna sell it's ass on Ebay. Barbie is no dummy (except when it comes to Math). Barbie nearly makes up for this putridity by also coming in a set with a dog and a pooper scooper and the dog EATS and CRAPS I kid you not...A crapping dog would make up for the Elmo if it were not for the MyScene Barbie....which is such a blatant rip-off of Bratz that I must laugh at its pathetic giant head. There is a kinda funny one that comes with some kind of metal under it's head so that when you press buttons on its back it makes different "expressions" none of which resemble human expressions mind you, just stretchy freaky doll head "expressions" that are extra funny if you press the buttons all at once

3. Wii and Playstation 3....people camped out 2 days for the latter and that bastard is 600 dollars. And, like our beloved Elmo, they only dole out a few at a time to the stores to keep the demand up and the stupid public buys into it....



4. I hate people that come in to get price adjustments for stuff that went on sale...not in general, I can totally understand doing that if the item is 10 dollars off of the price you paid, or if you bought mass quantities of an item....but I will never understand peeps who come in to get a measly 50 cents back...you paid more than that for the gas to drive to the store, moron!



5. I hate the lack of training they give at the particular store I work at now...any cashier can issue a rain check or correct their silly booboo like missing a coupon....but noooo they don't wanna train anybody so the customer just gets sent over to guest service to stand in line arms crossed glaring at me, yes me, while some idiot ahead of them tries to get a 50 cent price adjustment on a fucking ornament.

6. I hate our prohibitive return policy, if you have your receipt or you are the purchaser and you have a trackable method of payment (credit card etc) you're golden....if you receive more than 2 gifts without a reciept and you try to exchange them within one year of each other, you are going to have to use your ID and be treated like a criminal. And you are going to yell at me, not that I made up the retarded policy or anything, and honestly I would be willing to steal the shit for you myself except that I really need my meager paycheck right now.



7. I hate the coupon scam....people will buy like seven things of diapers, 5 packages of maxi pads, 3 boxes of Nicorette gum....use coupons, and then they next day they will return all the items, essentially earning all the money from the coupons. When someone gives me a receipt where it is obvious what coupon was used for what, I just deduct the amount of the coupon...even though I am not supposed to, then the customer says something like "oh i'm returning this for my wife, have to ask my wife" then leave with the stuff again.....but, now, they have foiled my little plan. They come in with their method of purchase and no receipt and I am helpless to ruin their scam. But when a man is returning 10 packages of maxi pads I know what he has up his sleeve. And I scowl at him the entire time.

Thank the maker

finally, geeeeez. Cuz you know when Hayden Christensen was standing there at the end of Return of the Jedi, Luke was probably thinking "who the fuck is that longhaired kid?". Of course they wait til everybody bought the lame redos...like we all have so much money to keep laying down on the same movie...

I know it is shallow on 9/11 to be posting Jedi news, but between all the newpaper and TV coverage I'm sure I don't have one smart or important thing to add.

I disabled anonymous comments on here so whoever was being a lil bitch the other day will have to fess up and say who they are if they want to be critical.


'kay so I work at Target...there is another thing to be nasty and judgemental about...enjoy!!

I HAVE 30 DAYS LEFT
I HAVE TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE
OH CRAP

Reminisking Ug Ug UG UG UG

I like to spell reminiscing like Popeye, lest you think I dunno (don't know) how to spell. Wait maybe I don't after all...is it reminising? reminicing? right the first time? no wonder I like to spell it like Popeye would say it.

On MySpace, the dreaded MySpace...I ran into a guy from high school...he updated me on oodles of people that we know...my first boyfriend, the Slayer fan with the very metal look, is married with a kid...Such a surreal thought to think of everybody all grown up...I'm gonna try to go see my friend tonight. First I'm gonna run by work and copy some pictures for him. I was so excited and the only person who I could tell about all the news, who would be just as intrigued as me, is Mama. And she is in surgery as I type this. Nothing huge just trying to help her back injury.

A Wealth of Useless Information

On Friday, I went to see Willie Nelson and Shooter Jennings at Konocti Harbor, "Tucked away in a scenic cove on the shores of beautiful Clear Lake" which means "you are gonna get carsick on that winding mountain road". But it was worth it for Willie!! Konocti is a fairly small venue...pretty mellow with ridiculously over-priced beverages and good hot dogs.

Shooter Jennings mainly focused on songs from his newer album but he did sing Fourth of July-my favorite-so I was hap-hap-happy. Willie sang old favorites plus new stuff...the ones he is prolly contractually obligated to play (On the Road Again, Mammas Don't Let Yer Babies Grow up to be Cowboys) and a coupla Hank W. (Jambalaya and Hey Good Lookin') and a coupla Kris K. (Help Me Make it Through the Night and Me and Bobby McGee)...my man even sang the Beer Barrel Polka. He did Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain, Georgia, Always on My Mind (i was about to start bawling feeling like a kid and near Blue Lake and all...) um, Crazy...and of course Whiskey River.

Next day, I went to Ma's...she told me about a dream where she was sleeping in the same room with my Dad and my stepdad and I called to tell them I was stuck somewhere on a freeway... my Dad said he would go and get me... my mother told him no, let Gary (my stepdad)...she was thinking because my Dad had one leg and got uncomfortable driving (the second time the cancer came back, it was wrapped around the artery going into his left leg... so they took it, he died 15 years (to the day) later...when it came back the millionth time....fuck cancer...fuck mortality)then she looked at my dad and saw that he had both legs again. For a minute I thought that dream meant I was soon to die...but who knows what dreams mean, anyway? I had a stupid dream that night that I was designing Barbie clothes. So whatever.

That Motherfucking Movie

I really want to see Snakes on a Plane, not because of the hype, well maybe because of the hype....but mostly because I love Samuel L Jackson.

If it blows in a bad-bad way...can I recommend a substitute for you to rent? I can?!?!? Hey, thanks! The Long Kiss Goodnight. Over-the-top-goofball-suspend-your disbelief-action, and hilariously-funny-super-quotable screenplay. One of my all-time favorites.

on a more serious note...

I read an article that really moved me this week, about young girls being sold into prostitution. Some were abducted from their homes, and some were sold in to slavery by THEIR OWN PARENTS, which I cannot fathom. Somaly Mam, who lived in Cambodia and was sold into slavery by her parents when she was a small child, has taken this horrible experience and allowed it to strengthen her... she had founded an organization dedicated to helping girls get out of this tragic situation... her site can be found here. Sadly, in retaliation for her efforts, her own daughter was kidnapped and brutally raped. Her resilience through it all is an inspiration.

The article was written by Mariane Pearl, wife of slain journalist Daniel Pearl.

It's a frightening world.

and i do find odd to read this article sandwiched between "if a man doesn't want to cuddle after sex, does it mean he is not that into you?" and "superstar hair special!"...but i do commend Glamour magazine for at least attempting some serious journalism along with the fluff..they are not quite up to Marie Claire or Jane but light-years ahead of Cosmo....

oh for fuck's sake

*note to casual reader: this is mainly complaining about work so you are totally excused if you would rather look at something else. go on, go! plus, it is poorly punctuated and i can't bring myself to capitalize the beginning of every sentence

*note to self: is there a casual reader out there,
anyway?

*note to reader again: this might improve at the end

i tell ya, just when i was saying i will really miss my job if i move...we get some dumbass new manager and lame new way of running the photo lab. this manager, i swear she is straight out of business college with her "how can we be proactive about this" and "let me see if i am hearing you right" ...fuck that shit, i cannot stand that bs babble...she has been there for 3 days and has managed to alienate just about everybody...to top it off she is younger than me (and i know it is shitty of me, just because i am not ambitious or career driven at all so i am in a low postition) but i can't take direction from some person that is younger than me and idealistic in an annoyingly phoney happy way. even Nick, whos is much more kind and patient with people than i am, had to laugh when i said "looks like the new manager is going to be a big improvement". Then, for the photo lab, they are installing a new system that basically tracks how fast we get everything done, and this is fucking stupid because: we don't even get all that many customers, it makes something that would only take about a minute require five additional steps, and it measures the time it takes to do things that we don't really have that much control over FOR EXAMPLE...packaging an order...if i am cutting negatives to fit in a sleeve and some person comes up to pick up their order....i would stop what i was doing and wait on them first, because that is good customer service...but with the new system it would just look like i was lagging or goofing off...i've said it before and i will say it again FUCK THAT. this job was much less corporate than many other jobs i have had, but they sure screwed that up in two shakes.

DREAMS THAT I HAD since i posted here last:

i was in my childhood home, and all the lightbulbs kept burning out

i was in a fight with my mother, and i found out she kept a blog...so i snuck a peek at it and all of her entries where about working in a beauty parlor, which she doesn't

i was the camera man on a movie, and the actor had his back to the camera, his shirt was inside-out and he had a tag on the collar that was showing the whole time... so i started yelling at people and saying "what is this? a goddamn fruit of the loom commercial?!??!"

i was in college with an important paper due right away and i didn't write it or pay any attention to the class

and now, Part 3: Cosmopolitan

every so often i buy some lame girl magazines just to let me know that i am not as lame a girl as i could be...okay i always read Jane but Jane is smart and funny...and Marie Claire fits in some good information on serious issues along with all the fluff....but Cosmopolitan, dear God, Cosmopolitan recycles the same dumb crap it's been publishing since i was a kid and i used to sneak a look at my sister's copy....

so allow me to quote some of the dumbest crap for you if you have hung in this long (if you have hung in this long, you deserve better than this, but it is all i have to offer i assure you):

Cosmo on "massages tame enough to try on him poolside or at the beach":
"THE THIGH PLEASER: Kneel between his legs, and walk your fingers from his knee, up the inner thigh, toward his package. Before you reach the promised land, stop and lightly draw your fingertips back down the inside. 'The thin skin makes it sensitive to the touch' says Patti Britton, PhD, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage. 'Plus, the fact that you are so close to his privates in public gives him a rush'."


okay, number one- doing that in public may well be enough to prompt a complete stranger to give you $20 to "get a room"
number two- "package" and "promised land" are two of the all-time stupidest ways to say "cock"
number three- I wonder how many PhD's in the world are called Patti
number four- I totally want to write a book called Chicken Soup for the Complete Idiot

Cosmo on how to "drive him wild with words":
"Tell him what's worth seeing. Men are visual creatures, so ignite that part of his brain by using decriptive words that conjure up sexy images. For example, when you tell a story, plug in a detail about your physical self: 'My hamstrings are sore from doing downward dog last night at yoga'."

oh yeah that is great conversation right there...

Cosmo on "10 things to crave right now":
"the YSL Muse Bag, $1,995"

like i really want a purse that is worth more than my bank account

'kay that's enough, but you get the picture....