Mmm these cookies are very good! Take it from a girl in her menstrual cycle, if you want yum yum chocolate chip cookies then look no further!
Signed up for cable TV, which is probably a big mistake as it will just make me lazier than I am already. Plus Kris and I won't be interested in many of the same shows. When I am at my mother's or something, I find myself watching lame stuff that I would be embarrassed to admit to watching. Like The Surreal Life, Strange Love, and Celebrity Fit Club. There, I admitted it. And admitting is half the battle, or something. Damn you VH1! Plus I sit there watching that crazy I Love the 80s/90s crap. Who are some of those people? Sometimes they show a person you know and other times it is someone you've never heard of. One time I saw some chick on a show and her credit was "Pop Culture Expert" uh hello? Is that a career, if so sign me up!!!
Friday, 4 February 2005
Thursday, 3 February 2005
also, I think I am avoiding looking into work and school. d'oh! i better get back on track!
SKIP THIS NEXT SECTION, IT'S PATHETIC
Kris had me depressed, saying he felt like he was holding me back from finding someone to settle down and have kids with. The thing is, I really do want kids but I feel like I would be a terrible mother. I think I am too immature myself. And of course I would not want to have kids unless I was in a stable career and felt like I could support at family. I pick terrible men to be in love with. Either selfish, or like Kris, struggling and kind and good to me but doesn't want what I want in the end. At least he respects me and doesn't make fun of my taste in music or think me less of a person for being lazy or watching TV just to get my mind off things. I am too weird to settle down with a regular guy. I have tried, Lord how I've tried. I had a boyfriend at 18 that would have done anything, moved anywhere, probably would have worked while I stayed at home with the kids. But I wasn't ready. And also, when anyone is too nice it freaks me out. I can't stand being catered to. I need someone with an opinion of their own, but who can respect and not belittle my opinion. Usually I am happiest when I am single. But I hate to think of losing Kris. I feel like I never move forward in life. I can be doing okay for a little while then I am back to square one with what the fuck am I doing and feeling worthless. I don't keep any friends. I am terrible about staying in touch. Every group of friends I've had has been just for a period of time and then it fades away. WHY AM I WRITING ALL THIS?
SKIP THIS NEXT SECTION, IT'S PATHETIC
Kris had me depressed, saying he felt like he was holding me back from finding someone to settle down and have kids with. The thing is, I really do want kids but I feel like I would be a terrible mother. I think I am too immature myself. And of course I would not want to have kids unless I was in a stable career and felt like I could support at family. I pick terrible men to be in love with. Either selfish, or like Kris, struggling and kind and good to me but doesn't want what I want in the end. At least he respects me and doesn't make fun of my taste in music or think me less of a person for being lazy or watching TV just to get my mind off things. I am too weird to settle down with a regular guy. I have tried, Lord how I've tried. I had a boyfriend at 18 that would have done anything, moved anywhere, probably would have worked while I stayed at home with the kids. But I wasn't ready. And also, when anyone is too nice it freaks me out. I can't stand being catered to. I need someone with an opinion of their own, but who can respect and not belittle my opinion. Usually I am happiest when I am single. But I hate to think of losing Kris. I feel like I never move forward in life. I can be doing okay for a little while then I am back to square one with what the fuck am I doing and feeling worthless. I don't keep any friends. I am terrible about staying in touch. Every group of friends I've had has been just for a period of time and then it fades away. WHY AM I WRITING ALL THIS?
Minka: Miss Congeniality
Wow, I was doing this goofy thing called Catster. And I put Minka on it, and boy did she get a lot of complementary emails. Holy cow. This is a goofy thing but it managed to kill a lot of time today and anything that kills time is fine and dandy with me I tell ya. Here are some quotes about Minka:
"Minka, you are stunning! Our Mommy's grandmother once had a persian
kitty named Minka but she was pretty evil. I'm sure you're wonderful!
Please be friends with us? :)"
"You are gorgeous Minka. I love your pictures."
"Aloha! Your eyes are simply GORGEOUS! Wanna be purr pals?
"Minka is such a beautiful kitty!"
"what a pretty kitty"
At least one of us has friends heheh. Actually I do I just am terrible at keeping in touch. Like I was supposed to call Lis this week and it is already Thursday. I guess what it boils down to is I am anti-social as hell. But enough about me, here is a Minka Pic and link to her Catster page
I think all this should officially confirm that I have no life. Then again, I guess most people don't really. We just take what we can get. Have fun no matter what, even if it is websurfing or listening to oldies (right now I am doing both). You know what I am desperate for? Hee Haw on DVD. But it is $100. Yikes! I need to win the lottery or something. I am rambling again. Somebody stop me!
"Minka, you are stunning! Our Mommy's grandmother once had a persian
kitty named Minka but she was pretty evil. I'm sure you're wonderful!
Please be friends with us? :)"
"You are gorgeous Minka. I love your pictures."
"Aloha! Your eyes are simply GORGEOUS! Wanna be purr pals?
"Minka is such a beautiful kitty!"
"what a pretty kitty"
At least one of us has friends heheh. Actually I do I just am terrible at keeping in touch. Like I was supposed to call Lis this week and it is already Thursday. I guess what it boils down to is I am anti-social as hell. But enough about me, here is a Minka Pic and link to her Catster page
I think all this should officially confirm that I have no life. Then again, I guess most people don't really. We just take what we can get. Have fun no matter what, even if it is websurfing or listening to oldies (right now I am doing both). You know what I am desperate for? Hee Haw on DVD. But it is $100. Yikes! I need to win the lottery or something. I am rambling again. Somebody stop me!
Wednesday, 2 February 2005
Same shit different day....
I spent the entire morning online trying to apply for financial aid and apply to the college I want to go to, but I would be a returning student and I am really confused and don't want to blow what little money I have on applying if I am not going to get accepted to transfer back?!?!?? I talked to a counselor yesterday and he was rushing and he only really suceeded in making me more confused. He kept using finger quotes and saying "unofficially" and "I have to be honest" and made is sound like I was about to get involved in a crimal interprise instead of going back to school. So all in all I am at a complete loss as to what to do!
Kris started his job today, bartending, I hope it is all going well and he gets more and more shifts. Sometimes I want to be June Cleaver and clean up about the house while wearing elegant dresses and have kids and not work at all cuz these days the less I am around people the better. Has there ever been a job that didn't suck in one way or another? I guess I will go back to school. I really yearn to be a mother, but without money and a stable home I can't do that. And I am not sure that I can bring a baby into such a crazy world that seems to be becoming more fucked up by the day. My God. People are nuts. People cheering on Michael Jackson outside court for a child molestation trial. I am mostly sick of California and it's needlessly overpaid celebrities, we even have a celebrity governor for crying out loud. And it's remainder hippie burnouts. And it is too crowded to breathe. I want to move to another state.
Kris started his job today, bartending, I hope it is all going well and he gets more and more shifts. Sometimes I want to be June Cleaver and clean up about the house while wearing elegant dresses and have kids and not work at all cuz these days the less I am around people the better. Has there ever been a job that didn't suck in one way or another? I guess I will go back to school. I really yearn to be a mother, but without money and a stable home I can't do that. And I am not sure that I can bring a baby into such a crazy world that seems to be becoming more fucked up by the day. My God. People are nuts. People cheering on Michael Jackson outside court for a child molestation trial. I am mostly sick of California and it's needlessly overpaid celebrities, we even have a celebrity governor for crying out loud. And it's remainder hippie burnouts. And it is too crowded to breathe. I want to move to another state.
Sunday, 30 January 2005
do you love
?
Does this make you swoon?
well......
this is funnyif I can tell you the honest truth it is based on my sister's actual diary from when she was eleven, don't tell her, she will kick my ass. but it is so adorable it must be unleashed upon the world!! It has a heavy Brady vibe to it. My old diaries were not that cute or funny.
Yesterday I went to the Lawrence Hall of Science with my sister, brother in law, nieces and nephews. Today I went to a dog show with my mother and her boyfriend. Just noting that because it was kind of like the old days when family would do stuff together on the weekends. I dunno, I am depressed. Whatever. There where Chinese Cresteds at the dog show, clean shaven and silken haired but not as cute as quirky old Marmalade...
Tuesday, 25 January 2005
Cross your fingers, knock on wood!
Kris has a job interview right this very minute. Please if you are reading this send us some good vibes, would ya? He has been looking for a job for ages!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, 4 January 2005
New Years Resolution?
I think I am going back to school! I am scared to death, but nevertheless I am going to do it, I am!!!! I just need major financial aid and then it is bang, zoom, back to school, reading writing arithmetic, up the down staircase to sir with love.
So I guess that my resolution is to stop wasting time working at jobs I hate, and study to get a career that I love. Loads of people do it. It's just that a lot of the time I feel under-confident and tend to take the quick and easy way out (such as taking wretched jobs just to have money to live.) I need to take some risks and be strong and quit whining and shape up.
So I guess that my resolution is to stop wasting time working at jobs I hate, and study to get a career that I love. Loads of people do it. It's just that a lot of the time I feel under-confident and tend to take the quick and easy way out (such as taking wretched jobs just to have money to live.) I need to take some risks and be strong and quit whining and shape up.
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