Saturday, 6 October 2001

Well. I haven't been very into using the computer or even writing at all lately. Between work and unpacking and moving furniture and being stressed out, I have only had the energy to stare blankly at the TV screen. And usually I am watching 'Match Game PM' for some reason. Whatever happened to Charles Nelson Reilly? Man, you gotta love that Game Show Network.

The only thing I'm kinda sorta looking forward to right now is Halloween. I'm going as Vampira.

I am going to ask at work if I can go ahead and work on Saturdays and have a day off during the week. Because that way I would have one less day of a crowded commute and one day with the house to myself. Which might be the key to preserving my sanity at this point.

It won't matter about missing a Saturday, it's not like I have had any really great dates lately and a lot of guys work on the weekends too, and stuff. What the hell kind of sentence structure was that? What am I, 8 years old all of a sudden? Probably the most annoying thing about going out with guys at this point is it is making me think about the-person-I-formerly-thought-I-was-over. What are you doing popping up in my brain again, damn it. It probably doesn't help that I am staying friends with Marcus. I mean it isn't fair to Marcus at all but he makes me think about Todd more often than I would if I didn't have him for a friend. Which is stupid and so annoying. I guess the Todd was really the first time I had ever been really in love. Because I have never been so stupid and hung-up and lame in regard to a guy otherwise. I was actually glad that when we saw the Damned they didn't play any songs from 'Strawberries' because that album really makes me think of Todd. That, Creedence, and John Denver (don't ask...). Maybe I am thinking of him again just because now is a sad time in everybody's lives, not just mine. And it is making me lonesome for him. And I am missing my Dad a lot, too, and wondering what he would've thought about all this.

No comments: