Today I have decided that instead of moping about, and being whiny and saying “what am I going to do with my life?” I am just going to embrace this last week of 2004 and enjoy and wallow in the fact that there is nothing I have to do. So today I am reading magazines and books and listening to Cat Stevens and Iggy Pop and lounging around Hefner-like in pj’s and a silky robe. I say silky because it feels like silk, but it is not, it is some strange concoction of polyester (how can one material have so many different-textured incarnations?). Which reminds me of a guy I knew who used to always say “nice shirt, is it felt? (feeling the material) well it is now.”
Christmas was strange- involving wine, cheese, egg rolls, taquitos, deep-fried raviolis, cold cuts, champagne, spritz cookies, fudge, brownies, more wine, popcorn, soon to be ex-brother-in-law, soon to be step-father (do I really have to call him my stepdad? I am an adult, couldn’t he just be my mother’s husband? It is altogether too weird to fully comprehend at this point), vomiting in the bushes (thankfully that was not me), bulldogs puppies eating said vomit (I got the unfortunate task of attempting to clean them on the sly so as few people as possible would realize what happened, yeck! Sis, you owe me one, I’d say).Today is the sad anniversary of my father’s death, fourth anniversary, and I am attempting to do him proud by not crying today. So far so good. I am just trying to stay busy doing nutty things that will keep me distracted. I bought some watercolors and a game of Yahtzee.