Sunday, 23 September 2007

Who's that eatin' that nasty food?

Work is so boring I was sitting here dancing to Nasty. Then some peeps actually came in, to buy chocolate covered figs. The girl was holding a baby in a Snuggly and she started first name ain't baby, it's Janet (to which her husband loudly responded:) MS JACKSON IF YOU'RE NASTY! Then i got the giggles again. I have had a bad case of the giggles all morning because I didn't get enough sleep. We were dog-sitting Bisket...and I kept singing "mr bisket, bring me a dream" and then i got to the part where it's all mr sandman, yeeeeeees? in a deep voice and i couldn't stop laughing. Mr Bisket, yeeeeeeeeees? Itls funny cuz he is so wee. Okay, I'm insane.

I had two totally bizarro dreams last night, I think they were prompted by eating a lot of garlic and watching Dogma. The first one took place in an auditorium where some comedian kinda guy was supposed to give a holiday performance. It turned out to be some kind of fucked up performance art. First he pulled the fire alarm, and said we couldn't escape because the doors were all locked. Then he pulled out a big gun like he was taking us all hostage. Then he shut off the house lights so there were only spotlights on him, and he shot a security guard. Then he started shooting random people in the front of the audience, and the rest of the audience was panicking. Then he sprayed some bullets up where i was sitting (with a machine gun) and I could feel something hitting me but it was not bullets because it wasn't piercing my skin. Then a man yelled "it's compressed air! he's bluffing! the other people are in on it" (some good story teller i am, huh "then this happened, then that happened etc) So finally i got up to leave and this lady was saying to me "this was supposed to be THE show of the year, but i find it very offensive!" You had to walk through a fiarground type of place to get back to your car, and there were all these Christmas decorations, Rudolph etc made of wood, and some one had taken an axe and blowtorch to them all.

My other dream took place in the house i grew up in. There were these people that had been shrunken like honey i shrunk the kids size, and i was trying to find them, they kept running away from the cats. Then there was a chase in a bizarre kind of wagon like what the horses pull in New York, i think that is called handsome carriage. I don't know. Why am I writing like Charly? There was a lil rat and i tryed to throw him off the wagon to safety, and we proceeded to back over his tail, leaving it flattened and the lil rat cussing at me. Then I was carrying a tiny man that looked like Richard Gere, and some government agent type of people were telling me to take him in to headquarters to get his id. "Don't mention his size" they warned. As if no one would notice otherwise. Headquarters looked like the lobby of a movie theater, and they gave him an ID with the name Mickey Mouse. Then it switched to a laboratory and a tiny lady that looked like Ileana Douglas was telling me some of the people decided to stay shrunken and form their own little community in a science lab. "Thank God," she said, "I was beginning to think I'd never get married."

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