Getting rid of my big website cuz I don't have the time anymore and it is a waste of money.

so here is an oldie that would otherwise bite the dust:

Read along as I attempt to make some sense of my wretched love life by analyzing my past celebrity crushes and real-life* affaires du coeur**

Childhood celebrity crushes:
First there was Davy Jones, of the Monkees, which I watched in reruns endlessly. The only impact he had, I suppose, was contributing to my life-long attraction for men with British accents. Looking back on him now I would say: cute but short, and have you ever noticed how Axl Rose seemed to copy his dance moves? That snakey, side-to-side thing? Eerie...

Next there was Harrison Ford, and this I believe was the start of my downfall. Here is why: I liked nobody better than Han Solo and Indiana Jones. At face value handsome, rugged, and charming. But also arrogant, cocky, and non-commital. The exact qualities I am helplessly drawn to in men today!! (In all fairness, Han did come around, but look at Indy... that guy was going through chicks like James Bond! And Bond was another movie series that I watched a lot as a kid. And the cherry on the top of my early education in arrogant men was "Jaws". My favorite character in the film? Quint. He was rude, made up dirty rhymes, didn't give a crap what anyone thought about him, and I thought he was super cool!)

Then we have John Travolta, as Danny Zuko in "Grease" (might I add that he is still working his magic to this day: my 12 year old niece has a Danny Zuko picture in her bedroom!) He was cute, he was badass, he did try to change for the girl he loved but it worked out better with her changing for him.

I also had crushes on Bill Murray, in "Meatballs" and "Ghostbusters" and Michael Keaton in "Night Shift". Funnier, but still cocky. Remember how Bill Murray flirted with the chick in "Meatballs"? Flirting bordering on sexual harrasment? Yep, my favorite. D'oh!

Childhood Real Life Crushes:

Well, there was one kid who all the girls liked in third or fourth grade, so I liked him, too. He was new, so he had that air of mystery about him (as much mystery as it's possible to attain at the age of 9). We would do things like passing notes "do you think so-and-so is cute? yes no " with little boxes next to that yes and no so you could check 'em off. This is also the age when we wore gummy bracelets and the big "hobby" was to save all of your eraser shavings in a box. So you would end up with a big box of multicolored eraser shavings. We were very bored, I think.

In middle school I began my pattern of liking guys with bad attitudes. The worst, who I will call Tommy, teased me mercilessly and harrassed me constantly (not unlike Bill Murray in "Meatballs" although definitely more mean-spirited). Needless to say, I was completely smitten with the little weasel.

Teenage Celeb Crushes:

I remember at first having a crush on Michael J. Fox, a clean-cut enough guy. That is until that crappy mullet-and-leather jacket movie with Joan Jett. This blossomed into an affection for rockers with bad hair (i.e. Jon Bon Jovi, Phil Collen[ not Collins-sususudio, but the guitarist for Def Leppard], and a couple guys from Anthrax...)

Later, I developed an inexplicable crush on Robert DeNiro, who is probably my mom's age. This began with the film "Midnight Run". I don't know what to make of it other than I do tend to like guys who swear a lot.

Teenage Real Life:

The person I dated the longest in my teen years was a metalhead bass player wannabe (of the Slayer and Metallica variety). He had long hair, leather jacket, tight jeans, cut the sleeves off his t-shirts, seldom bathed, smoked dope, in short- every mother's nightmare. He also had an annoying habit of trying to pass himself off as a "nonconfomist" by conforming to whatever the other "nonconformists" thought, said, did, wore. This is a phenomenon I will never fully understand. Sadly, some people never outgrow this attitude. Trust me, I've dated a lot of them.

Last 10 Years...

Well as far as celebrity crushes, there was Tim Roth (that British accent thing again). I guess there haven't been to many recently or else they're case-sensitive (such as: Ewan McGregor in "Shallow Grave" = cute, Ewan McGregor as a guest star on "ER" = EGAD!).

My love for men who are probably not a good idea continues unbounded. There was an asshole with a girlfriend and a kid that I fell for by sheer virtue of him flirting with me shamelessly (although I should take some of the blame, I should've steered clear from the beginning. Sometimes I'm the bad guy, too.) The general pattern seems to be: treat me nice- I can't deal with it, treat me like crap- I'm all over you like white on rice. That's an exaggeration, but it feels true. I recognize the pattern, sometimes I put a stop to it, but you can't help how you feel deep down. If only I could blame it all on Indiana Jones, but that doesn't work. It's my own kooky brain.

*names have been altered so nobody gets mad
**my french is very rusty so that's probably not spelled right. I just though it would look nice.

Hi. So sick of work!! Had nice Christmas apart from the normal depressing aspect of it. Kris spent a whole two days with my family and got me hooked up for HBO for the final season of OZ. So .. that was good... this Kris is a pretty good guy. Of course I will probably eventually muck it up like I always do. Bah!

What a gross day today and I can't wait to go home!

Gavotte: This dance comes from France. During the 16th Century it was customary for the leading couple to kiss each other and everyone else in the room at the end of their special "shine". It finally became a stage dance. Although it has a long and varied history it is still charming and has been used by modern composers for chamber music.

YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS BLOG IS ABOUT YOU....

YOU'RE SO VAIN
Carly Simon

You walked in to the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf - it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner, they'd be your partner, and
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you?

Well, you had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
When you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved, and one of them was me
I had some dreams there were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse, naturally, won
Then you flew your lear jet to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend, wife of a close friend, and

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you?


which begs the question... what does gavotte mean!?!?!?!?!?
and u know i always thought it said your hair strategically nipped below one eye.....LOL

22222222222222222222

Yikes! What is up with stupid Yahoo?? I wanted to change my homepage, to put a dumb Christmas pic on, but the darn thing won't let me! #%@^ Anyhoo was taken at Pier 39, at this silly touristy thing where they put you in a video where it looks like you are flying over SF in a sleigh... I guess they do it year-round and it is usually a magic carpet. But ours was a sleigh and it was pretty funny cuz we were hamming it up. Anyway what an awful day today was. I mean, kinda fun, but in an insane way..... Went XMAS shopping and tell me why I ran into a hellish BLAST FROM THE PAST that i haven't seen in years, and never wanted to again. Well, I could have been imagining things but I don't think so... Just my luck that this jerk is working at a Borders two blocks from me. It's the story of my sorry life. Anyhoo thank you to Kris for buying me the Donnas and this crazy Ray Conniff Christmas thing I used to listen to as a kid. So I have the Elvis christmas, and that, and now all I need is the goofy one where they do Grinch songs and my patched up childhood memory collection will be COMPLETE. Anyway speaking of Elvis if you haven't seen Lilo and Stitch -must do so. This is a sweet and sad lil cartoon. I watched it on my dad's birthday and I was all alone and it made me cry like an idiot. And so, happy holidays .....And eventually a Christmas pic if Yahoo ever works again.........Ohh also ..I talked to Pollito for the first time in months which was cool bcz i haven't talked to him in ages. "My neighbor promised to tidy up her yard, but it took the contagious"

Just a thought.. does Yahoo! gradually start routing u more and more spam just to get u to upgrade to the pay-for email address with hi-tech spam filter? Or am I real paranoid.

Once again I have ended up hating my job but now I would feel guilty if I quit because it would make everything harder on everyone else. Life is fun, huh? Weeee!

It's raining it's pouring the old man is snoring. Oh, it's just Kris. :P Actually the old man is at work. First shift this week, too. I don't know if he is crazy or I am. I have this weird estrogen-powered insanity going, I hate it. It is like feeling completely fucking pissed off and then all or a sudden you are bleeding and you are like "oh.... that was totally irrational". But in me and Kris's case (Kris and I's???) it like maybe it wasn't. Maybe he is being a shit because he know I have PMS and he can push my buttons. I am begining to think that I will never settle down with anyone. And you know what? I don't mind. I will be an old spinster. Spinster's kick ass!

Saw Lisa on Friday and she is happy with her new job, which is cool! She is lucky! We were gonna go to a movie but man oh man even My Big Fat Greek Wedding was sold out and that has been playing since Hector was a pup. Completely off that subject but what is the deal?(sez Jerry) with the Larry David Curb Your Enthusiam show??? It should be good but it bores me to death. It is like a bad episode of Seinfeld starring a mutant version of Woody Allen. Consider my enthusiam curbed. Billy taped the Sopranos and stuff so we could watch. Is why I am even seeing this on my rabbit ears TV. I gotta get cable just for OZ though, I don't want to miss any and Billy's taping is sporadic at best.